Would anyone here attempt to date another WPer?

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Kilroy
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13 Jan 2011, 2:12 am

dunbots wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
dunbots wrote:
Uhh... :scratch: I'm trying. :D


you have zell as an avatar
you are doomed to fail
FINAL FANTASY 8 SUCKS!! !! !! !! !

Shut up Final Fantasy 7 n00b, FF8 could kick your ass. :twisted: :lol:

I'm obviously a ton more like Squall, but he looks too androgynous and generic, whereas anyone could pick out Zell. ;) I'm gonna change it to Laguna, he's always awkward (and his name means "friend" in a language I'm learning). :D

let me get something straight, I don't like any final fantasy
I hate squall, laguana is a pansy, zell is batshit insane
seifer is a loser
drawing magic SUCKS, triple triad was a terrible card game, why the hell did headmaster sid give me a lamp with the devil inside?!
those hover boards don't work on water *unless you have power*
what was the whole deal with the conveniently forgetting they were all raised at the same orphanage and that the woman who raised them was the sorceress!! *the first one*



dunbots
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13 Jan 2011, 2:22 am

Oh ok, I figured you liked FF7 and not 8. :P Well I'm always awkward and a pansy, so Squall or Laguna fit me fine. :lol: I agree, Seifer is a jerk, and stupid. Yeah, drawing is a bit strange, but I think it's fun, and I loved Triple Triad. Why'd he give you the lamp? To get a useless GF of course. :D

You sure seem to know a lot about the game for not liking it. :shrug: It's still my favorite game of all time though. 8)



ToadOfSteel
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13 Jan 2011, 2:29 am

Yeah the gameplay was completely broken and the plot was full of holes, but squall is the first characteristically aspie video game character that I can think of. The only unrealistic thing about him is that he had chicks hitting on him a lot, but that's japanese games for you...


...whatever



Volodja
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13 Jan 2011, 2:54 am

I think women can usually tell when there's an ulterior motive (even if you tell yourself you're just trying to get to know her etc etc, you still want more deep down, and I reckon a lot of women can see that)

If I were you, I would try getting to know women you like here on the actual forums before PMing them. Joke with them, maybe even flirt with them a bit to test the water - not outright obvious flirting, but light hearted stuff

If a guy PMs a girl out of nowhere (as in having not really got friendly with her in threads already) then it does probably look like they're interested in dating them

I don't PM women until I feel they're used to me on the forums and won't feel like I'm just coming on to them because they're female

Oh and yeah I would definitely date someone from WP. I'm not really a regular though so doubt it will happen now



hale_bopp
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13 Jan 2011, 3:06 am

dunbots wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
dunbots wrote:
Uhh... :scratch: I'm trying. :D


you have zell as an avatar
you are doomed to fail
FINAL FANTASY 8 SUCKS!! !! !! !! !

Shut up Final Fantasy 7 n00b, FF8 could kick your ass. :twisted: :lol:

I'm obviously a ton more like Squall, but he looks too androgynous and generic, whereas anyone could pick out Zell. ;) I'm gonna change it to Laguna, he's always awkward (and his name means "friend" in a language I'm learning). :D


Image
:P :P :P



dunbots
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13 Jan 2011, 3:24 am

What, I'm not allowed to enjoy video games, or talking to people about them? :P



Mindslave
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13 Jan 2011, 3:31 am

If I was going to date someone, it would have to be a social outcast of some sort. Most women I know have to be out and about all the freaking time, because apparently, being seen is a big deal. Maybe that's why it's called the dating scene.

Even so, it's very hard to find someone who doesn't mind me not calling her every freaking day. Women are so god damn insecure that ahem, *forgetting* to call them means you don't love them anymore. If you truly love someone, you don't need to say anything, much less every damn day. I need time to myself, and dating kills that. Might as well sign my life away on a contract. "No more fun for you!" Not to mention the fact that if I have ANY other female friends, I can't hang out with them until my girlfriend is ready...whatever that would entail. Yeah, because all men are dirty stinking cheaters. Seriously, if you think a guy is going to cheat on you the first chance he gets, that says a lot more about you than it does about him. Sorry for the mini rant, but what I would need for a girlfriend is very rare. This is why I don't date. Too much drama and bullshit. I could go on, but you get the point.



quesonrias
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13 Jan 2011, 3:35 am

I could be wrong, but I'm drawing on my own experience here...

I think that Aspie women tend to be a bit more cautious (and possibly realistic) when it comes to internet interactions. Our brains (or at least mine) remind us that the internet is not exactly a place where reality exists, and that many people online only pretend to be something they are not. While some are better at reading people online than they are in real life, they can still tend to be cautious of others. Who knows if the person on the other is is actually who they say they are or not, right??

I don't think it's impossible to start a relationship online, but I think it takes a bit of work to find the person who is going to let their guard down. I also think that approaching an Aspie woman is a little different than approaching NT women. I think in most cases, if you approach things with even a hint of romantic interest, they are often scared away because the intensity of emotion that they anticipate meeting is overwhelming. However, if they can respond to friendly discussions about something that was said in WP and then be led into a give and take discussion about their interests, they are more likely to warm up to romantic hints as time goes on. Establishing a non-romantic interest/relationship in the beginning makes a big difference (at least it does for me).

Oh, and one other thing to remember. When we feel like something is a bit more than we are looking for, we are still Aspie, and can be a little more honest and blunt than we realize or maybe mean to be at times.


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Last edited by quesonrias on 13 Jan 2011, 3:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

Logan5
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13 Jan 2011, 3:47 am

Grisha, it is possible that those women have been hit on many times before, and hence are overly sensitive about it. To be on the safe side, you might want to stick to people who post in the "Eligible Odd-Bods! - The Premier Aspergian Singles List" < http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt62.html > thread. The other web sites to try are
http://aspieaffection.com/
http://www.autisticdating.net/
http://www.autismdating.net/
The catch, of course, is that there are many more men than women on those sites. Once you start to factor in age range and geographic location, you are lucky if there is anyone left. :?



quesonrias
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13 Jan 2011, 3:49 am

Mindslave wrote:
If I was going to date someone, it would have to be a social outcast of some sort. Most women I know have to be out and about all the freaking time, because apparently, being seen is a big deal. Maybe that's why it's called the dating scene.

Even so, it's very hard to find someone who doesn't mind me not calling her every freaking day. Women are so god damn insecure that ahem, *forgetting* to call them means you don't love them anymore. If you truly love someone, you don't need to say anything, much less every damn day. I need time to myself, and dating kills that. Might as well sign my life away on a contract. "No more fun for you!" Not to mention the fact that if I have ANY other female friends, I can't hang out with them until my girlfriend is ready...whatever that would entail. Yeah, because all men are dirty stinking cheaters. Seriously, if you think a guy is going to cheat on you the first chance he gets, that says a lot more about you than it does about him. Sorry for the mini rant, but what I would need for a girlfriend is very rare. This is why I don't date. Too much drama and bullshit. I could go on, but you get the point.


You sound like the male version of me! lol!!

Don't need someone to call me every day (helps to quell fears if I know ahead of time though...if they do call every day, and then suddenly they don't, they've broken routine, which is scary for my brain)
Need a great deal of time to myself. Someone in a different time zone can be ideal :D
Gonna have my guy friends, and the guy is going to trust me and deal with it or move on
And forget the drama, I have better things to do with my life...

And my favorite saying of all time? Singleness is bliss :D


_________________
If I tell you I'm unique, and you say, "Yeah, we all are," you've missed the whole point.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
RAADS-R: 187.0
Language: 15.0 • Social Relatedness: 81.0 • Sensory/Motor: 52.0 • Circumscribed Interests: 40.0

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


hale_bopp
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13 Jan 2011, 3:56 am

dunbots wrote:
What, I'm not allowed to enjoy video games, or talking to people about them? :P


You're all good, I was just having a joke. :)



Tim_Tex
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13 Jan 2011, 4:15 am

I would, but it isn't without its pitfalls.

Although one of my attempts failed because she had a tendency to overthink a lot of things, and she made her overall assessment of me based on things she assumed about me, and on asinine ideas she has about relationships.

For example:

1. If a guy asks for relationship advice online or on an advice columns in a newspaper, it signifies an inability to communicate directly with a partner, or to "direct and support himself"

2. Anyone who needs emotional support is unstable

3. There should be no burdens, inconveniences, or uncertainty. Everything must be predictable and controllable in the relationship.

4. Anyone who questions or disagrees with said rules is a manipulator

5. If a person struggles with any of the rules, but improves at a later point, said improvement is an attempt to intentionally deceive her. For her to be able to trust you, you have to get all those things right from the beginning.

However, I had noticed that she never asked for advice, and communicate her feelings to me. In fact, I communicated more often and more clearly. She used a lot of confusing, even cryptic jargon.


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Last edited by Tim_Tex on 13 Jan 2011, 9:09 am, edited 4 times in total.

nostromo
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13 Jan 2011, 4:33 am

Grisha wrote:
I'm just curious to know if it ever happens, and I also have a confession:

I tried it, twice.

I liked their posts and knew enough about them to know that it might be worth exploring.

I sent a totally polite PM: very preliminary, respectful, absolutely sincere - and nothing even remotely suggestive, much less overtly sexual.

In both cases I was astonished by the ferocity of the reply - to paraphrase a little bit:

"LISTEN, IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A HOOK-UP, YOUR CHANCES ARE ZERO - GOT IT?"

I'm not exaggerating at all, you would have thought I wrote: "Hey baby, wanna f*ck? :twisted: "

This happened almost exactly the same way, twice! Naturally I didn't attempt it again...

Is this this typical of Aspie females?

1. Don't take it to heart because the response doesn't say anything about you (its a fatal mistake to make it mean that).
2. The 3rd person might take you up..



Kaybee
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13 Jan 2011, 4:49 am

Grisha wrote:
Is this this typical of Aspie females?


No, some of us would turn you down gently and respectfully. Which I would, by the way--I would turn down romantic gestures from anyone I hadn't even spoken with. If you're interested in someone as a potential dating partner, you should probably get to know them before asking them out. You may think you know them fairly well for having read their posts, and maybe you do, but that's not the same as direct interaction. Even if you do know them very well through this, they may not know you so well.

Volodja wrote:
If I were you, I would try getting to know women you like here on the actual forums before PMing them. Joke with them, maybe even flirt with them a bit to test the water - not outright obvious flirting, but light hearted stuff

If a guy PMs a girl out of nowhere (as in having not really got friendly with her in threads already) then it does probably look like they're interested in dating them

I don't PM women until I feel they're used to me on the forums and won't feel like I'm just coming on to them because they're female

Oh and yeah I would definitely date someone from WP. I'm not really a regular though so doubt it will happen now


Reasonable as ever, I see. I have to agree, for the most part. I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with PMing someone "out of the blue." It would be better to have interacted with them a bit through the forums, but I wouldn't turn away someone based on this. This is only the case, however, if they seem sincere and not like they're only interested in me because I'm female, as you said. If I get the impression that the only or primary appeal you see in me is my sex, you can be certain I won't be interested.

Logan5 wrote:
Grisha, it is possible that those women have been hit on many times before, and hence are overly sensitive about it.


This is very true and an important point to remember.

As for the question, I would not "attempt" to date another WPer, but I would be open to the possibility dating one, except for the fact that none live near me.


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DemonAbyss10
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13 Jan 2011, 6:02 am

dunbots wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
dunbots wrote:
Uhh... :scratch: I'm trying. :D


you have zell as an avatar
you are doomed to fail
FINAL FANTASY 8 SUCKS!! !! !! !! !

Shut up Final Fantasy 7 n00b, FF8 could kick your ass. :twisted: :lol:

I'm obviously a ton more like Squall, but he looks too androgynous and generic, whereas anyone could pick out Zell. ;) I'm gonna change it to Laguna, he's always awkward (and his name means "friend" in a language I'm learning). :D


well yeah laguna COULD pass as an extremely high-functioning aspie... or a low-functioning NT... you can decide XD


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