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Tim_Tex
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15 Jul 2006, 2:31 pm

Yesterday, I met my Aspie friend in Houston for lunch. She and I had a nice conversation, she told me about life growing up, and her interests, and her family, etc. But despite this being our fourth get-together, she doesn't consider me (or anybody else for that matter) anything more than an acquaintance.

I was certain that after meeting her 4 times, it would be at least friendship. But she told me "what's the point of even having friends", possibly indicating that she had been emotionally abused in the past.

But as far as a romantic relationship, should I wait for her to decide what her definition of "friendship" is, or should I move on to somebody else?

Tim



juliekitty
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15 Jul 2006, 3:09 pm

Tim... why do you WANT a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't even see the point of having friends? Sounds like a great way to sign up for a whole lot of emotional pain.



Tim_Tex
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15 Jul 2006, 3:12 pm

Part of it is because she close to me, and that she and I have similar interests.

Yet I can't be with someone like her, who appears to be very unstable.

Tim



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15 Jul 2006, 7:10 pm

She simply might not get any emotional benefit from close company. By saying what she said she is being practical and really, doing you a kindness.



Tim_Tex
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16 Jul 2006, 5:23 am

But it upsets me that I find an Aspie woman who lives in Houston, who has interests similar to mine, and I can't be in a relationship with her because she can't even define the word "friend".

Tim



larsenjw92286
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16 Jul 2006, 10:05 am

I'm glad everything went well!


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Tim_Tex
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16 Jul 2006, 10:12 am

It didn't go as well as I hoped I would. She can't define "friend" and I was hoping she would agree to be my girlfriend. And there are no other single Aspie women in Houston that are close to my age.

Tim



larsenjw92286
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16 Jul 2006, 10:14 am

I'm sorry

There is time for better things to happen in the future, always!


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Tim_Tex
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16 Jul 2006, 10:22 am

And if that wasn't bad enough, I bumped into Claudia (my NT ex-girlfriend who constantly abused me, and is my reason for not dating NT's) about 4 days ago.

And finding an Aspie woman who is willing to do a long-distance relationship is just as difficult as finding an Aspie woman in Houston.

Tim



larsenjw92286
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16 Jul 2006, 10:24 am

Wow!


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ethamin
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16 Jul 2006, 8:02 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
And if that wasn't bad enough, I bumped into Claudia (my NT ex-girlfriend who constantly abused me, and is my reason for not dating NT's) about 4 days ago.

And finding an Aspie woman who is willing to do a long-distance relationship is just as difficult as finding an Aspie woman in Houston.

Tim

Not all NT women are horrible monsters. Do not exclude them from your to do list. Just look around, relax, be open about your handicap and show some humour towards women. Just befriend them without having relationship ideas. If you succeed you are bound to find someone who will like and accept you, the way you are. Meanwhile, keep your eyes also upon Aspie girls/women. Keep your fishing pond as big as possible.



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17 Jul 2006, 7:09 am

I just want to say I agree with ethamin, especially on having female friends.



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17 Jul 2006, 7:47 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
But it upsets me that I find an Aspie woman who lives in Houston, who has interests similar to mine, and I can't be in a relationship with her because she can't even define the word "friend".

Tim


Then you will have to learn to deal with being upset.

It's unlikely she wants a relationship probably.

Quote:
because she can't even define the word "friend".


How do you know thats why? Maybe she just isn't attracted to you. Do you think for some reason this girl should want to be your girlfriend?

If you make assumptions and have expectations you will always be disappointed.

I agree with ethamin, too.

One thing i've noticed about males from this site they seem to be terribly biased against relationships with NTs - Thats half the reason you can't get a girlfreind people.

If you all hate being judged, don't be so quick to judge others.



Tim_Tex
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18 Jul 2006, 5:18 pm

I think this goes beyond the AS vs. NT debate. I felt that I was developing feelings specifically for this person.

Tim



Tim_Tex
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21 Jul 2006, 6:37 am

And now my friend has a new rule: She will only use instant messaging to contact with anybody outside her immediate family. Until recently, she did not have a problem with me e-mailing her. I never realized it was going to be this much hassle to communicate with somebody who lives only 30 miles away.

Tim



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21 Jul 2006, 2:21 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

If you make assumptions and have expectations you will always be disappointed.



So true!!


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