Ever been told you are incapable of loving

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If I had a nickel for every time I have been called cold and heartless... I'd be rich

hi eingana. i don't know you but i know this can't be true. i understand where you're coming from completely, i often feel like my emotions towards other are effectively wasted (if they ever get out) and this had made me feel very empty.

don't try and show your love to the wrong people. the right person will truly understand the feelings you have to give to them!

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Last edited by harry_j_83 on 20 Mar 2011, 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've never been told I'm incapable of loving, but I do have been told I'm impossible to be loved by anyone... hurts bad when someone close says something like that.

who told you that?!

You should watch an old episode of Third Watch that has to do with compassion.. It all boiled down to people do things that they think are compassion but in reality doing things because it benefits them..

Link Here

Here is what i mean here..

"Carlos realizes that he is truly lacking in compassion, and tries hard to learn it, but his fellow co-workers are incredulous that this is something he has to learn. He finally realizes that doing random acts of kindness makes him feel good about himself, which is a little step in the right direction, but he still has trouble dealing with humans on an everyday basis. "

Lacking love, Maybe it just that you havent found what you need to make you show love, I spent alot of time just not saying I love you to someone.. I mean like 11 yrs almost.. Cause I didnt and didnt think I needed to share that I loved someone if I didnt.. So, I guess you goto find someone/thing that has you love it..

Hello thank you for writing this post. I'm learning a lot from reading the responses. May I ask why you shut down when the relationship hits a rough patch and what if anything would allow you to begin communicating again?

Yes, I've been told this but I didn't find it hurtful, I didn't care really and found it mildly amusing. I wonder sometimes if they're right. I have no feelings about that either. It just is.

My mom... but it was in an argument and I'm sure she didn't mean it.

I will try my hardest to answer your questions ntgrl, but I' not quite sure myself. I guess when people are upset

1) i do not feel there sadness as much as i think a lot do and so i come across in a bad way
2) I am worried that by saying another I will make them feel worse.
3) Sometimes i feel there emotions so much that it is over baring, but i do not know how to communicate in a way that will make them better, and finally
4) some times I do not even notice when a relationship has hit a bad patch, which makes the other person angry and that go's straight back to me not knowing what to do when they tell me.

Hope this helps and I don;t know if anyone else would agree on my points.

I have never been called such, but have deemed myself so. As a sociopath I am incapable of feeling what most people call "love", only a summation of various feelings and actions that could falsely be interpreted as "love".

I can give love to somebody else, yes. Receiving love is not common to me; my mom neglected me and my family finds me useless and annoying.
I can't get a girlfriend either, obviously. It's all incredibly painful but the more you LOOK for love the lesser chance you're going to find it.
*flicks the wisdom button off for today*

I've been called "Cold" "Heartless" "Self-absorbed" "Indifferent" etc, etc, etc. Just cuz I don't gush, or indulge people in their self-pity, or want to 'cuddle' all the live-long day, does NOT mean that I am incapable of love. I know what love is, and I can feel it...I'm just bad at recognizing it, and by the time I notice someone loves me..it's usually too late cause I've completley alienated them or something. Thank God my husband is an aspie 2!!

I agree with Dunbots! I am so sociopathic that what I know as LOVE is just fragments really...NTs interpret it all the way they want it to look! My family can't understand why I couldn't have married someone who isn't a "Space-Cadet" Well I lived with an NT bf for 2 years....THEY loved him...HE drove ME crazy. That's why he's my EX!