Have Any of You Dated a Neurotypical Female?

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DemonAbyss10
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13 Mar 2011, 9:17 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
You guys are making a straw man argument.

I didn't say lack of money was the reason I can't get a woman. Aspergers and lack of social skills is the reason I can't get one. I'm just saying that a woman would probably overlook it if I did have a lot of money. In my experience, the ONLY Aspies who have had girlfriends had money. Does this mean money is everything? NO, but it's one way Aspies can compensate for their poor social skills.


If a woman is only dating you for your money then she doesn't really love you and is just a prostitute or call girl who doesn't advertise.

You'd be better off just getting one who acknowledges she is such...unless you want a woman to lie to you about loving you.


I've done this actually, but I'd still prefer a real relationship. Unfortunately, no woman wants me. I've been rejected many times both in real life and on-line.


I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


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SadAspy
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13 Mar 2011, 10:29 pm

DemonAbyss10 wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
You guys are making a straw man argument.

I didn't say lack of money was the reason I can't get a woman. Aspergers and lack of social skills is the reason I can't get one. I'm just saying that a woman would probably overlook it if I did have a lot of money. In my experience, the ONLY Aspies who have had girlfriends had money. Does this mean money is everything? NO, but it's one way Aspies can compensate for their poor social skills.


If a woman is only dating you for your money then she doesn't really love you and is just a prostitute or call girl who doesn't advertise.

You'd be better off just getting one who acknowledges she is such...unless you want a woman to lie to you about loving you.


I've done this actually, but I'd still prefer a real relationship. Unfortunately, no woman wants me. I've been rejected many times both in real life and on-line.


I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


LOL at a 22 year-old who can't spell "privilege" lecturing me on self-evaluation. Use my hand? What brilliant advice! You should be a therapist!



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13 Mar 2011, 10:35 pm

SadAspy wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
You guys are making a straw man argument.

I didn't say lack of money was the reason I can't get a woman. Aspergers and lack of social skills is the reason I can't get one. I'm just saying that a woman would probably overlook it if I did have a lot of money. In my experience, the ONLY Aspies who have had girlfriends had money. Does this mean money is everything? NO, but it's one way Aspies can compensate for their poor social skills.


If a woman is only dating you for your money then she doesn't really love you and is just a prostitute or call girl who doesn't advertise.

You'd be better off just getting one who acknowledges she is such...unless you want a woman to lie to you about loving you.


I've done this actually, but I'd still prefer a real relationship. Unfortunately, no woman wants me. I've been rejected many times both in real life and on-line.


I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


LOL at a 22 year-old who can't spell "privilege" lecturing me on self-evaluation. Use my hand? What brilliant advice! You should be a therapist!


You don't have to know how to spell to know anything about life.



wefunction
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13 Mar 2011, 10:39 pm

Oh good lord. Disregarding people based on spelling and grammar is so 2003. If I discounted people on account of a younger age or misspelled words, I wouldn't be able to get any advice. :?



SadAspy
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13 Mar 2011, 10:48 pm

Why are you all being so mean? Last I checked, this was a support forum. Do you think I am lying about women treating me badly? I'm not claiming that I'm the only guy this has happened to nor am I claiming that guys don't mistreat girls, but if I can't find support here, where can I find it?



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13 Mar 2011, 10:57 pm

I agree with you that having a lot of money would probably help as long as you had some basic skills. That's life.

But in general you don't need a lot of money. You just need experience and exposure. AS is known for having a certain curve to it that is often mitigated by age and experience. I think that AS types, like many people, often have trouble seeing that change is possible. I was like that and in some ways still am.



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13 Mar 2011, 11:34 pm

DemonAbyss10 wrote:

I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


You were doing good until you got to the "hand" part.

Just a little tip: Masturbation is not the solution to every romantic problem, if it were then we wouldn't even need an L&D forum - everyone would be just fine... :roll:



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13 Mar 2011, 11:45 pm

I'm sorry, SadAspy. I'm not intending to be mean to you nor to say that you aren't telling the truth. I definitely don't want you to think I'm not validating your feelings. I just don't agree with all of your conclusions, nor do I think it's appropriate to disregard advice based on the giver's age and typographical errors. That's all.



amazon_television
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14 Mar 2011, 1:20 am

poppyfields wrote:
amazon_television wrote:
The girls I've dated have all been "neurotypical", but I got the sense that the OP was talking about the hyper-social, stereotyped subset of NTs. I dated a girl like that for 4 years and it was extremely difficult but it was good times for sure.


Well that's ridiculous, lots of NT's aren't that way. I live with various NT family members who all have different social needs.


I know the vast majority of NTs are not that way, and I didn't really intend to put it in a bad light anyway. I guess I missed my point. I've dated hyper-social girls, and it was tricky. I've dated girls who were less so, and it generally works out better that way. That's all I was trying to say.


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14 Mar 2011, 3:15 am

SadAspy wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Chronos wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
You guys are making a straw man argument.

I didn't say lack of money was the reason I can't get a woman. Aspergers and lack of social skills is the reason I can't get one. I'm just saying that a woman would probably overlook it if I did have a lot of money. In my experience, the ONLY Aspies who have had girlfriends had money. Does this mean money is everything? NO, but it's one way Aspies can compensate for their poor social skills.


If a woman is only dating you for your money then she doesn't really love you and is just a prostitute or call girl who doesn't advertise.

You'd be better off just getting one who acknowledges she is such...unless you want a woman to lie to you about loving you.


I've done this actually, but I'd still prefer a real relationship. Unfortunately, no woman wants me. I've been rejected many times both in real life and on-line.


I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


LOL at a 22 year-old who can't spell "privilege" lecturing me on self-evaluation. Use my hand? What brilliant advice! You should be a therapist!


That is not a very appropriate way to treat someone who took the time to consider your problem and offer you what is actually some very good advice. If you routinely attack people who come to your aid when you ask for it, then perhaps that is one of the reasons you are having relationship difficulties.

In the future, perhaps you should consider returning such favors with graciousness.

It's also ignorant to assume that simply because one spells a word wrong, that they are intellectually lacking in any area really. It highlights a misunderstanding on your part of how the brain works. In addition, being that most web browsers have spell checkers which usually underline misspelled words, one must conclude that if one does spell a word wrong, there is a high probability that they know it and simply don't care.

In the context of the English language, it actually really doesn't matter how a word is spelled as long as it's meaning with respect to it's context is understood. The written English language wasn't standardized until the advent of mandatory public education, and until that point, how a word was spelled could be rather fluid. Non-native speakers can usually easily point out all of the languages grammatical and phonetic inconsistencies.



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14 Mar 2011, 5:56 am

Grisha wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:

I will give you a word of advice that may just be something you don't want to hear but you really do need to hear it. Having a mate is a privelidge, not a right. Its all natural selection. There are others out there with the same issue you have, male and female alike. Rejections happen so oh wah bout that. You can just you know take a break from the game and pursue a hobby or something.

Also ask yourself this, why do you truly want a relationship. If its because of societal influences in any way shape or form, you need to re-evaluate you damn life. IMO if you do something simply because its what everyone else does, you are definately doing it for the wrong reasons and this applies to relationships infinitively. You really should only pursue a romantic interest if you yourself truly want them.

also, if all else fails you have a hand. Use it.


You were doing good until you got to the "hand" part.

Just a little tip: Masturbation is not the solution to every romantic problem, if it were then we wouldn't even need an L&D forum - everyone would be just fine... :roll:
yeah, I know. Its a bit of a habit of mine to point out the option; as we all know, old habits die hard.

Well, I guess I am gonna link my thread that is just filled with even more of the sarcastic advice I am known for... or maybe I will quote it. That is if I even find the thread in the first place.

SadAspy wrote:
LOL at a 22 year-old who can't spell "privilege" lecturing me on self-evaluation. Use my hand? What brilliant advice! You should be a therapist!
I am but human, I make mistakes and can call you a grammar nazi if I really feel like it. Age isn't necessarily an indicator of experience. The 40 year old who lives in his mothers basement for years upon years has probably experienced quite a bit less then the 20-something who has put up with the harsh realities of the outside world that a large portion his own age haven't even thought of.

Oh, and Id love to be a therapist, because you know, you have to put up with morons who want advice then promptly disregard it because of a meaningless error such as spelling or their age.

EDIT: Took out most of the unneeded caustic material. There is still some there, but its just enough to make my points >_>


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14 Mar 2011, 9:41 am

You're suggesting that I don't really want a relationship, but want one to fit in with society. Huh? Fitting in with society is generally one of the last things Aspies want. If I wanted to conform to society, I'd watch sports and get drunk on weekends. I don't care about doing what society expects....I just hate being alone. And I hate that women only want alpha bad boys (yes, I know the ones on this discussion board will say they don't, but it's been my real world experience and that trumps a message board).

Quote:
If you routinely attack people who come to your aid when you ask for it, then perhaps that is one of the reasons you are having relationship difficulties.

In the future, perhaps you should consider returning such favors with graciousness.


His advice consisted of:

1) saying I don't have a right to a relationship (never said I did)
2) questioning whether I really wanted one
3) telling me to use my hand

Not a single one of these things actually helps.



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14 Mar 2011, 10:08 am

SadAspy wrote:
And I hate that women only want alpha bad boys (yes, I know the ones on this discussion board will say they don't, but it's been my real world experience and that trumps a message board).


The key IMO is to hate this fact, but not hate women for it - everyone is a slave to their psychology. I believe that the women who claim otherwise sincerely believe what they are saying on an intellectual level, but unfortuately the notion gets overwhelmed by other non-intellectual psychological forces in actual practice.

There is no "right or wrong" in this situation, no blame to be apportioned. It just is what it is: bad luck.

Try to focus on the positive things - go out and do the things you always wanted to do - and whack the negative/defeatist thoughts caused by your relationship difficulties on the head whenever they pop up...

Good luck! :)



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14 Mar 2011, 12:33 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Unfortunately, no woman wants me.



If you're so certain this is the case then what are you even talking about it for? If you're convinced no woman would have you, then moaning about it isn't gonna help. Move on and find something else to do with your life



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14 Mar 2011, 3:54 pm

Volodja wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Unfortunately, no woman wants me.



If you're so certain this is the case then what are you even talking about it for? If you're convinced no woman would have you, then moaning about it isn't gonna help. Move on and find something else to do with your life


I don't even disagree with this, BUT two things:

1. I didn't start the thread...I was just responding to what someone else said

2. I get sick of women claiming they like "shy, socially awkward, nerdy guys" and not "bad boy alphas"....sure there's probably a FEW who do, but most don't.



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14 Mar 2011, 3:55 pm

girls marry the akward nerdy guy - look at all the 'alpha, bad boys' who are still single way into their lives.
bad boys get casual hook ups easier though.