Quartz's OK Cupid Aventures 2 - Return of the Desperate!

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So a few days ago, I might have come here and said that I've had crap luck lately - if any luck at all. Not much was going well, and was never getting replies back to anything.

The other day I sent a message out to some gal, just to try my luck and get a conversation out of someone. Wouldn't have been the greatest pick in the world, but what the hell? After a while, she kind of realized that I don't like kids or pets and was wondering what I had been doing messaging her in the first place, so she just stopped after a while.

Then Friday night I was looking at some profile, again not the greatest match in the world but seemed like a decent convo possibility. She ended up IM'ing me while I was messaging her. Had talked a little while, before we both needed to head out. Sent her a message today, back to some small talk about a common interest. Who knows where this is going.

And then got a second reply back from a third gal. Cute but needs to lay off the tanning, 94% match. Still nothing serious out of the convo, but a second reply back is better than much of what I been getting lately. Shall see where this winds up.

So I been feeling good about things the last few days. Maybe something will happen of it. Cautious optimism?

And then I get the reminder my best chance in the world is from some remarkably desperate gal who needs friends way more than I do. I got an IM about 45 minutes ago from a 39% match, asking me why I don't like kids and then starts talking bout how she wants to have a relationship go down. Once I say I never been in a relationship before and have no need to rush things, she just disappears. She was moderately cute, but what in the world was she looking at me for?

What did you hope to gain by broadcasting to her that you'd never been in a relationship before? Just lie about that s**t dude. No one will know any different.

Actually that reminds me that i also have answered a question on there saying that i've never been in a relationship. I will have to change it to a lie.

I wouldn't kick yourself for dating sites being crap.

I just got a message saying "why are you so ret*d and weird"?

lol, s**t for brains.

I've come to the conclusion that denizens of dating sites aren't exactly my type - but then again, I don't think anyone is...

what's wrong with having not been a relationship before?

Nothing imo. I also think Inexperience is something you really shouldn't lie about as it's likely they'll be able to tell, if and when they start seeing you

exactly - if you say 'oh yeah i'm a stud and have so much experience' and then you're crap at things - you're in trouble.

The most sensible route would be to negate the question cropping up in the first place until much further along in becoming aquainted with someone.

If you take your turn in a conversation to emphasise a point like "oh I've never been in a relationship before" you are conveying more then what you've said you also are implying something through purposefully making the effort to point this out. Which people will be receptive too.

If you were asked and are responding to the question honestly then that comes across in a more positive light.

Basically, if your rushing to point out to people deliberatly and intentionally your deficits and flaws it implies that those flaws are in reality greatly magnified then how you are conveying them.

Or to put it another way if this is how you portray yourself positively, how on earth do you convery yourself negatively or your actual self.

I agree with this ^

A white lie, imo, would be something like "sorry, I have to get to lectures" when someone tries to stop me on the street to fill in some crap. Actually lying to someone you're hoping to have a relationship (or friendship) with is just a lie and probably a bad idea.

Since a few of you might be lost here, this is actually how it is:

The one who I had told I had never been in a relationship before, I had no interest in. I was saying things to get rid of her, she seemed to reek of desperation to me. Hence me saying I'm in no rush to get married and not wanting to have kids ever.

The two which I do have some interest in, I have never mentioned anything serious about relationships. It's mostly about music so far with those them.

Hopefully that clears things up a little.