"Checking out" women while talking to them

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DO many here think its acceptable to quickly check out a womans body when flirting with them with the intention that she will catch you doing it? Obviously i don't mean leer, but a quick check of her bod for about a few seconds so that just as she catches you looking you meet her eyes in a kind of unapologetic way , maybe smiling after-wards, giving her the impression "i just couldn't resist". a

i've read that its a good way to avoid being freindzoned and it makes a lot of sense, something i previously wouldn't have done as i've come to appreciate that when flirting its your intentions that matter rather than what your talking about. i still think it might be bordering on plain rude though, even if she is reciprocating your interest

Might work in a nightclub if she's drunk.

In a normal situation though, unless she's coming on very strong herself and likes that kind of thing, then it sends out creepy vibes.

Agreed. Actually, it's more than creepy. I'd find it threatening and if there weren't many other people about, or I was in the company of strangers, I'd find it quite frightening.

Not Acceptable!

...unless of course you don't get caught...

It depends on how it's really done.

Standing outside a movie theatre, in queue for tickets, my husband - then boyfriend - and I were chatting. I wasn't looking at him. When I glanced over, I noticed that he was taking a body-long look at me. He wasn't engineering the situation for me to catch him doing it, because he'd picked a moment when I wasn't looking at him. I asked, "Were you just checking me out?" meaning to put him on the spot. He acting somehow embarrassed but not really, he admitted it without admitting it and we moved on. It didn't creep me out or offend me. It wasn't clever or endearing, either. Did it send the message that he was attracted to me? Yes.

Driving someone home from work because he'd lent his car to someone as a favor, he kept looking at me from the passenger seat. I kept seeing it in my peripheral vision and it started bugging me. When we stopped at a red light, I asked, "What are you looking at?" and he said, "You. I'm checking you out!" That was creepy and greasy! I liked him until that moment. Then, I couldn't wait to get him out of my car and away from me.

So there's a fine line. Tread carefully.

tbh I would advise most here not to do that. A minority of guys could probably pull it off (at least in some situations), but someone with social /communication problems is likely to look like a creep, and possibly a dangerous one

Only a very smooth guy could do this and not seem like a greedy predator. Making your intentions clear is important, but there have to be other ways to do it. Telling a girl she's really pretty is one way - look her right in the eyes and say it (don't worry, it's only a second!). She'll get the message and be flattered at the same time.

It depends on the girl , some girls love it, some don't.

Once a girl asked me "why you're staring?" , and I said "' 'cause you're pretty?" , she giggled.

It also depends on the guy's who's checking out, if he's an ugly Qasimodo, he's more likely to be accused as a creep, if he's a drop-dead gorgeous then the girls would be more tolerant to his glances/stares.

When trying to get to know a girl, if I act like I want into her pants I'm being a creep; but if I don't, then I' clearly not interested and get immediately friend zoned

OK thats does sound a bit creepy lol, i was pretty much writing it in the way the book expressed it wasn't thinking about it too much. i think i'd leave the smile out.



The author Pillinski stated that doing a quick bod check would blow any "your pretty" comment out of the water, i think. i would have to agree with him, i can't really hear myself saying "ur pretty" or something along those lines to a girl outright even if she seemed interested. I suppose checking out rather than commenting would make a man look more arrogant, in that unless he's getting "go away" signals from the woman, he will assume that she will warm to his advances. i think its going back to the idea that Pillinski keeps hammering home is that women find "expereinced" men more desirable.



That makes sense. although i couldn't see myself at all in ur second example, nothing classy about doing that at all. but i can appreciate what ur saying.



I guess the idea seemed appealing to me cause i have communication problems, so i might inadvertantly kill of any "tension" between me and someone else cause i've just spent too long having pleasent-ish conversation

thx guys, the line for me does indeed seem very fine with this checking out stuff. Would anyone guys care to share what they think are the best ways to indicate interest with woman?

It works for me for a guy to be more up front about it and I've never appreciated the body check out - men on the street do that kind of thing all the time and it can be very uncomfortable. If I'm just getting to know a guy and he does the your pretty thing I know how to interpret his actions. To me it's just classier and would probably put a huge smile on my face. But then, I do need to be told directly as I'll miss the subtle signals.

Regarding this part:

exactly.

I wear sunglasses alot cause I have a supposed staring issue. So i wear them so nobody knows I am looking at them.. I have good ones to so they cant see my eyes..



I wear them alot because I dont want people to think I am crazy or insane or something, plus it helps the light from not bothering me as much either..

and you won't get elevens

The best way to check a woman's body out is when she isn't looking. If she catches you ogling anything but her face, you might flatter her, but at the same time she will probably peg you as a creep.

A better way to let her know you are interested in her while flirting with her is to look her in the eyes and smile a lot.

There's a place between trying to get into her pants and coming off as just a friend, and it's called, romantic interest.

Should I elaborate? I can if you would like me to.

A few seconds is way, way too long. A split-second glance is the most that is acceptable. Save the extended looks for when she isn't looking, or for when you know it's ok for you to behave openly lustfully toward her.