A theory on why Aspies may struggle with women.

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I still don't understand why you're arguing with me. >.<

I never said that I was repeating anyone else in this thread. I was bringing in a new point. Jesus f*****g Christ.

A new point that has nothing to do with this thread and which can't possibly lead anywhere constructive givin' the current points, this thread wasn't based on dating or opening the vagina of every woman you cross it doesn't even come close, your new point is not conductive to the first point, which is why your point belongs in a new thread.

Wow. I was agreeing with Bethie on how ridiculous these theories are. So there, my post was relevant to the thread. I love how you're not even addressing my point and instead debating on whether or not my comment was relative.

Get back to the kitchen, woman.

Somehow I don't think females are getting their points across in this thread today.

Well we're trying but it would help if the men in this thread would TRY to see it from our point of view but that would be ridiculous. Who cares about what women think? It's not like we're human beings capable of a discussion or anything.

Yep. Nothing like banging your head against a brick wall, is there?

I don't disagree with your points, but they have nothing to do with the current conversation. It's like going to a cave to discuss the color of the sky. bethie obviously didn't come to this thread to be constructive through any positive means so I don't really see how that makes sense.



You have not addressed any points brought up by a man in this thread that were not a reaction to your own post. I have seen your point of view, but it doesn't have anything to do with this thread.

EDIT: If I thought you were incapable of discussion why would I be talking to you?

That's how I feel right about now in a bunch of threads I'm replying to today. "YOU NO HAVE BRAIN CUZ YOU A WOMAN! STFU AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH FOR I AM MAN!" Ow, I need an aspirin. >.<

I think you may be onto something. I know from my own experience that once I stopped trying to use acquired social skills/mimic other guys, etc, I started having much more success with women.

Based on talking to female friends, many women actually seem to prefer a good many aspie traits. Apparently, being a bit shy and nervous on a date is charming to many women and makes you seem more real and less intimidating. Also, our quirks and such make us seem exotic and a bit of a challenge, etc. All in all, I think we may well be better off just being ourselves.

A sammich sounds really good right now, but I don't have anything here to make it with. One good way to win the heart of a women is to make her a sammich. Although, I once brought home a roasted chicken for my ex and I to snack on for dinner, but she got pissed off because they weren't flowers. I guess you can't please everyone.

I don't have a theory as to why I can't get a women, I really don't need one because I know why. First and foremost, I don't have the balls to talk to women I'm interested in, and when I do I'm under so much anxiety, so I come across as unconfident. Being under a lot of anxiety, I get some sort of "brain block", where my processing is "blocked", and I cannot think of things to say, or flirt, or be confident enough to know that a women is flirting with me. So as a result of being under this block, I recall from my memory of social rules to use my logic to come up with things to say, which almost always very little, very corny, and flat. I cannot express what I want to say, so I fall back on my Aspie logic to take care of the conversation, and this usually does not peak the interest of women. And since most neurotypicals are programmed for social interaction, and lack of it seems different, weird, uninviting, and boring. The less the anxiety, the less "blocked" I am, and the easier it is to talk to her. I've noticed most neurotypical women respond very well to the conversation that comes from the part of my brain that is "blocked", and usually when they initiate, it makes it so much easier.

This is my experience, and I've gotten so much better with social interaction because my current job has me around hundreds of customers and employees, so my socializing has become so much better, where as a few years ago I would just flee or be even more quiet than I already am. I hope this brings some insight to this thread.

Here's a theory of my own. Since Aspies have focus problems, this makes it harder to socialize, because if you talk to a girl and focus too much on her, she will freak. It's hard to be casual when you have to try twice as hard as the next guy to stay focused on what's going on.

I was busy writing my previous post and this one popped up! Both of you bring up points that I brought up with my previous post.



and



So I guess it's not just me. Other Aspie men have this problem too. For me, this "block" keeps me from being myself, but the block is proportional to the degree of anxiety. It's still easier said that done to be myself and not have anxiety to block the real me. I guess my only saving grace would be if the women initiates a little bit.

You know how I feel about chicken, but I'd waaay prefer food in general over flowers.
No probs making a man a sammich, so long as he returns the favor every now and then.
(Although as someone who was given the cookbook "How to Boil Water", as a SERIOUS gift, I'd probably screw up a sammich, too.)

You'd probably like the veggies from my garden I brought my ex a few times, plus I gave her a couple jars of pickles I made from the cucumbers and dill that I grew. She definitely liked that.

I'm a pickle addict! I used to steal them from the fridge at night when I was three, and got in trouble.