The PUA community
after all that you did to the women before that, i don't see why you deserved respect from that woman. if you want to earn good treatment from women, then treat them well in return - ALL of them, not just the ones you want to have sex with.
well, how about let's look at some examples of how you view women and how you have treated them:
^ these are examples of treating them poorly, so you are not an outlier by any means.
i don't see why you would have gotten better treatment, given that you treated women so badly. if you want to be treated well, then become worthy of good treatment.
if you stop picking up women you don't care about, and your problem will be solved.
chances are, given what you have said, is that these women are not interested in anything long-term with someone who has proven himself to be a player. picking up random women is not a recipe for success in the dating world... women who are serious about wanting a man for a real relationship will not sleep with a player/PUA (whther you use the official techniques or not is irrelevant, as you are accomplishing the aims of that world).
i don't honestly know whether it would be possible for you to fundamentally change the way you view women, but if you don't, then you will continue to struggle with establishing a real relationship.
_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105
after all that you did to the women before that, i don't see why you deserved respect from that woman. if you want to earn good treatment from women, then treat them well in return - ALL of them, not just the ones you want to have sex with.
well, how about let's look at some examples of how you view women and how you have treated them:
^ these are examples of treating them poorly, so you are not an outlier by any means.
i don't see why you would have gotten better treatment, given that you treated women so badly. if you want to be treated well, then become worthy of good treatment.
if you stop picking up women you don't care about, and your problem will be solved.
chances are, given what you have said, is that these women are not interested in anything long-term with someone who has proven himself to be a player. picking up random women is not a recipe for success in the dating world... women who are serious about wanting a man for a real relationship will not sleep with a player/PUA (whther you use the official techniques or not is irrelevant, as you are accomplishing the aims of that world).
i don't honestly know whether it would be possible for you to fundamentally change the way you view women, but if you don't, then you will continue to struggle with establishing a real relationship.
1. I treat all of them well, not just the ones I have sex with. If there's a situation where there is nonreciprocal interest, I run into the girl a lot, and we have a lot in common, I'll be friends with her. I gave a girl a ride back home from a party that rejected me for a date once a while back. It wasn't with the intent to creep on her or whatever, I just wanted to make sure she got home alright. We're still friends to this day.
2. You don't think the girls weren't the ones to make the first sexual move in those situations? A girl I dated for a little while kept motioning over to the bathroom the first time I met her at a bar, but I totally ignored it because bathroom sex doesn't really turn me on. The one that had oral sex with me in a stairwell suggested it. At this time, I'm aversive to one night stands because I don't see the point. I've done it before, and given my personality and total lack of ability to even climax with some girl I just met, it is not my favorite thing to do.
3. I always treat them well, especially those two. I can often tell that a girl has rejected me romantically within the first two minutes of any interaction regardless of what we're talking about (fyi, I never say anything lewd, obnoxious, or even pickup oriented). Guess what happens when I notice this? I just continue talking to them and politely excuse myself to leave later. If they're really interesting and friendly (friendly != romantic interest without the right non-verbals), I'll be friends with them. I've tried to chase these girls even after becoming friends first and making a bunch of connections, and guess what, it makes no difference on the outcome; they're still uninterested. Guess what the two girls that I've befriended first (both really respectable, stable people I just wasn't into in that way when I wasn't drunk) and then actually ended up hooking up with said? I could've had them after the first couple times we hung out. Which goes right back to the level of connection not really making a difference.
4. None of them know a thing about my past. I have seen tons of respectable, relationship oriented women sleep with players. Players are simply good looking, extroverted guys that don't attach emotions to sex. I am only mildly extroverted and taught myself to read body language really well. I haven't had sex devoid of emotion ever.
I'm the male version of that girl that goes to parties and bars seeking a relationship. There have been a few situations in the past where I have used women to assuage my ego. I regret them and I'm over doing that.
.
It isn't out of jealousy. They will try to prevent you from scoring with their hot friend at a pre-determined signal from her. They aren't jealous. They are wingmen. When they get the (non-verbal and pre-determined) signal from their hot friend, they initiate the pre-determined prevention strategy such as saying "you promised me a ride home by 11:00" or some such. The blithering idiots in the PUA community are so sure of their own desirability that I guess it never occured to them that hot girls would have strategies for making them go away.
So now you know.
.
It isn't out of jealousy. They will try to prevent you from scoring with their hot friend at a pre-determined signal from her. They aren't jealous. They are wingmen. When they get the (non-verbal and pre-determined) signal from their hot friend, they initiate the pre-determined prevention strategy such as saying "you promised me a ride home by 11:00" or some such. The blithering idiots in the PUA community are so sure of their own desirability that I guess it never occured to them that hot girls would have strategies for making them go away.
So now you know.
Both of these things happen. Most of the time it's just the girl's friends being good wingmen.
trojan51
Deinonychus
Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
I would rather have a girl tell me off and reject me on sight than make up bullsh*t lies such as that. A rejection that is quick and sudden saves alot of depression and grief. At least shed be making it clear she isnt interested and then i can move on to another girl.
And your right about players being extroverted. Theyre not always good looking though, at least back in high school. Alot were average looking but really confident and extroverted, so they got lots of sex that way. Good looking introverted guys such as myself, are actually less successful than an average looking extroverted guy is at getting laid. Women care about alot more than just looks. Just being good looking doesn't guarantee sexual attraction, its just a factor of it.
And your right about players being extroverted. Theyre not always good looking though, at least back in high school. Alot were average looking but really confident and extroverted, so they got lots of sex that way. Good looking introverted guys such as myself, are actually less successful than an average looking extroverted guy is at getting laid. Women care about alot more than just looks. Just being good looking doesn't guarantee sexual attraction, its just a factor of it.
Bullsh*t lies are the polite way of telling you off. I think those are the best rejections. If you're a totally obnoxious weirdo, then of course telling you off is appropriate. But to tell a confident, nice guy to "f*ck off" is waaaay over the top and literally never happens to me unless the girl is intoxicated.
Looks are the biggest factor along with money and social status (who you know, what you wear, etc). You can have the compatible personality, and in my experience, that won't do it at all unless she is physically attracted to you.
Average looks, confident, and extroverted means you're going to have lower standards and get the damaged and/or easy girls exactly like my friend and I do. Every now and then you catch a keeper.
The funny thing is that I'm not even that extroverted. I'll approach at libraries, classes, and house parties, but not nearly as much as you'd think. Just meeting more new people won't hurt you at all if you're already good looking. Without getting a look at a bar/club, the most I'll do is ask to bum a cigarette (this is the best ice breaker, hahah). I'm rarely a "random" guy. For the entirely random guy to get strange girls, he usually has to be very good looking, tall, extroverted, and extremely confident. If that guy is personable, he gets basically any girl he wants.
Last edited by roadGames on 03 May 2011, 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
trojan51
Deinonychus
Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
And your right about players being extroverted. Theyre not always good looking though, at least back in high school. Alot were average looking but really confident and extroverted, so they got lots of sex that way. Good looking introverted guys such as myself, are actually less successful than an average looking extroverted guy is at getting laid. Women care about alot more than just looks. Just being good looking doesn't guarantee sexual attraction, its just a factor of it.
Bullsh*t lies are the polite way of telling you off. I think those are the best rejections. If you're a totally obnoxious weirdo, then of course telling you off is appropriate. But to tell a confident, nice guy to "f*ck off" is waaaay over the top and literally never happens to me unless the girl is intoxicated.
Looks are the biggest factor along with money and social status (who you know, what you wear, etc). You can have the compatible personality, and in my experience, that won't do it at all unless she is physically attracted to you.
Average looks, confident, and extroverted means you're going to have lower standards and get the damaged and/or easy girls exactly like my friend and I do. Every now and then you catch a keeper.
The funny thing is that I'm not even that extroverted. I'll approach at libraries, classes, and house parties, but not nearly as much as you'd think. Without getting a look at a bar/club, the most I'll do is ask to bum a cigarette (this is the best ice breaker, hahah). I'm rarely a "random" guy. For the entirely random guy to get strange girls, he usually has to be very good looking, tall, extroverted, and extremely confident. If that guy is personable, he gets basically any girl he wants.
Yeah those average guys did have sex with the damaged girls. Yeah that would make sense as I have looks but I don't have high social status and i drive a 1997 Toyota Tacoma, as in i hungout with drug users and delinquents in high school, although i rarely did drugs myself. I don't really approach girls, ive seen guys who looks way worse than me get good looking girls. If i was more outgoing id be more successful, i know that.
And your right about players being extroverted. Theyre not always good looking though, at least back in high school. Alot were average looking but really confident and extroverted, so they got lots of sex that way. Good looking introverted guys such as myself, are actually less successful than an average looking extroverted guy is at getting laid. Women care about alot more than just looks. Just being good looking doesn't guarantee sexual attraction, its just a factor of it.
Bullsh*t lies are the polite way of telling you off. I think those are the best rejections. If you're a totally obnoxious weirdo, then of course telling you off is appropriate. But to tell a confident, nice guy to "f*ck off" is waaaay over the top and literally never happens to me unless the girl is intoxicated.
Looks are the biggest factor along with money and social status (who you know, what you wear, etc). You can have the compatible personality, and in my experience, that won't do it at all unless she is physically attracted to you.
Average looks, confident, and extroverted means you're going to have lower standards and get the damaged and/or easy girls exactly like my friend and I do. Every now and then you catch a keeper.
The funny thing is that I'm not even that extroverted. I'll approach at libraries, classes, and house parties, but not nearly as much as you'd think. Without getting a look at a bar/club, the most I'll do is ask to bum a cigarette (this is the best ice breaker, hahah). I'm rarely a "random" guy. For the entirely random guy to get strange girls, he usually has to be very good looking, tall, extroverted, and extremely confident. If that guy is personable, he gets basically any girl he wants.
Yeah those average guys did have sex with the damaged girls. Yeah that would make sense as I have looks but I don't have high social status and i drive a 1997 Toyota Tacoma, as in i hungout with drug users and delinquents in high school, although i rarely did drugs myself. I don't really approach girls, ive seen guys who looks way worse than me get good looking girls. If i was more outgoing id be more successful, i know that.
Once you start college, the party drug user crowd typically has tons of girls in it. I drive a 2002 toyota corolla. It doesn't make a difference when you're under 25.
trojan51
Deinonychus
Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
How do you define a "damaged" person? Shouldn't having AS also make you "damaged"?
I don't know about your looks but I can guarantee your lack of success is not due to status. Time and again you judge both men and women primary by their looks and financial affluence and reduce both genders to their instinctual/animal side. There's more than this to people (at least to some) - exploring that side might help you see both you and others as more complete human beings. For now your utter lack of respect for others will only make them avoid and disrespect you.
_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
trojan51
Deinonychus
Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
People are animals but have the choice to be so and a little more. Animals don't have such a choice.
Could you point me to the post where he defines "damaged"?
_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
They are usually the most bigoted, chauvinist,narcissist and sexist men ever. They ruined my mind back then more than it provided help. I don't know why they tend to like writing in CAPITAL LETTERS though. They all claim that they can get a girl's phone number just by talking with her for less than 30 seconds, yea riight.
I simply don't buy into all what they say, if these men are really as successful with women as they claim then I don't know what to say.
(In reality, all what they're trying to do is to sell their lame books, all PUAs are lying gurus. Period)
+OVER 9000
Seriously, girls will pick up on the fact that you're forcing this persona just to get into their pants and word will get around and you'll end up lonelier than you were before.
trojan51
Deinonychus
Joined: 10 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 361
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
So people who have been mistreated in the past and have low self esteem are damaged? LOL that must cover most of this site and at least 75% of the population. Does this also apply to men who were cheated on and treated poorly by women?
_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
So they use her weaknesses to abuse her some more? And they wonder why I have such little faith in men. Why can't I be into girls?
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Does the community approve of self-diagnosis? |
02 Mar 2024, 6:58 pm |
New to This Website and Joining an Online Community |
20 Mar 2024, 7:47 am |
Questions about designing a website for the ASD community |
12 Jan 2024, 4:13 pm |