Do you think this is was good judgment on my part?

Page 2 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

cdfox7
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,700

18 Jun 2011, 5:22 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
Also to add with her behind a desk that is psychologically speaking a defensive barrier to building the type of rapport you wanted with her. Plus the location, her work place also is a bit of a psychological defensive barrier as your on her home turf so to speak.

yes, along those lines... as a teacher we learned that students' desks are a psychological extension of their personal space. i find the same thing to be true with my work desk.


Yer that also talked about in my counselling and NLP training, to avoid having a desk directly in the way when you need to have a personal and emotional conversation plus there a power inbalance with using a desk.

I used that knowledge and other golden nuggets of non verbal communication to my advantage, as I single handily a talked a large company into settling out of court a 12 year long legal dispute we had with each other. Now you know why I :heart: NLP :wink:



Janissy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,450
Location: x

18 Jun 2011, 5:58 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Why don't you just get a life janissy? It took guts to do that.


Yes it did take guts. It's a shame that you used your boldness, guts, courage (all good qualities) to make a woman annoyed with you.

Next time, be just as bold and gutsy but don't make a sexual comment.



NSF
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 35

18 Jun 2011, 6:22 pm

I think what you missed is the need to be subtle in future, dont delve in deep -

I guess going in with your mates wasnt such a great idea, you could have one hang on outside - for moral support.

Jamesy, body language wasn't great from what you describe, dont get too close - comment about desk being a physical barrier was good as well - places of work often have them to protect the employees.

Learn to flirt, dont necessarily go for the girls that aren't very attractive or who you think are on a par with you or they may think you are mocking them. Girls are attracted to things which dont just include looks. Women think very differently to males and its difficult to know what they are thinking. The picture you posted conveys that she didnt like what you said.

Jamesy go for someone who appears to like you, dress smart/casual, go clean shaven and you should start to see girls flirt with you - it happens a bit to me, they start twirling their hair and do 'come on' thing. A few young females have asked me for sex straight off the bat [17-21 year olds] I said no. So I think you'll find someone nice without too much difficulty but avoid stuck up type, find someone who shares one or more of your interests eg go to photography group if you like it, at least once to see if there is anyone you like.



Ilka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,365
Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama

19 Jun 2011, 10:52 am

"And anything else we can get our hands on" was not a nice thing to say. Not to someone you just met and you are trying to like. You are treating her like a skank, and any decent girl would have reacted the same way. I congratulate you for the effort, but you need to work on your lines.