Dating a married woman

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22 Jun 2011, 2:09 am

If the couple is separated, and they clearly aren't sleeping anymore, do you think there's harm in dating a married woman?

And women, would you go with a married guy?

What if they were just having a real rough patch, and wanted you. Would you take 'em up on the offer?

TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Jun 2011, 2:21 am

*raised eyebrow* Is there a reason for this question?

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OddFinn
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22 Jun 2011, 3:53 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

If the couple is separated, and they clearly aren't sleeping anymore, do you think there's harm in dating a married woman?

There can be. The jealous husband might cause you harm. Or you might fall in love with the woman, who then returns back to her husband and breaks up with you. Just to mention a couple of examples.

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CaptainTrips222
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22 Jun 2011, 4:05 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

*raised eyebrow* Is there a reason for this question?

::Uses both fingers to slowly push her eyebrows back into place::

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22 Jun 2011, 4:22 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

It's harmless if you don't want to count risking an ass full of buckshot.

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22 Jun 2011, 4:43 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

People who are separated are generally unsure of what they want in life. They are not sure if they want to remain with their spouse or end the marriage and look elsewhere.

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22 Jun 2011, 4:47 am

Chronos wrote:

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

People who are separated are generally unsure of what they want in life. They are not sure if they want to remain with their spouse or end the marriage and look elsewhere.

Yep, prepare to be experimented with.

It might be interesting.

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CaptainTrips222
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22 Jun 2011, 6:51 am

Moog wrote:

Chronos wrote:

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

People who are separated are generally unsure of what they want in life. They are not sure if they want to remain with their spouse or end the marriage and look elsewhere.

Yep, prepare to be experimented with.

It might be interesting.

Whatever happens, I'll have to take it in stride, considering what I'm doing.

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22 Jun 2011, 8:26 am

Chronos wrote:

People who are separated are generally unsure of what they want in life. They are not sure if they want to remain with their spouse or end the marriage and look elsewhere.

As a slow learner I've found myself in this situation twice. I allowed myself to get involved with married women who were separated, and neither was sure what she really wanted to do. The emotional conflicts they were experiencing wreaked havoc on my relationship with them, and when they finally decided on a course of action, I was left in the dust as they moved on in their lives. Although I was never threatened by a jealous husband (something you really should consider), I would discourage going forward with this. Not only did I come out of both experiences feeling used, but I also have to own the fact that I played some part in destroying two marriages.

My advice is to wait until divorce papers are signed, or look for someone who is unattached. Otherwise, as Moog stated, prepare to be experimented with.

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22 Jun 2011, 9:10 am

No. I see nothing wrong with it. If you were separated with no chance of reconciliation, wouldn't you want to date?

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Jun 2011, 10:35 am

I wouldn't do it. It's not because I would be a test subject (and I would) but because coming out of a serious relationship like that is confusing and hard. The separated party needs time to stabilize themselves.

In these situations, both parties will likely part ways feeling used.

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22 Jun 2011, 12:43 pm

There are some very...alluring married men in my life...

*slaps self*

It's a bad idea. No matter what they tell you, once a cheater, always a cheater. And while a newly separated man is techically on the market, the dude's marriage just broke down. He's not in a good place, its best not to let him do anything while he's feeling all emotional and confused.

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22 Jun 2011, 1:32 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

In these situations, both parties will likely part ways feeling used.

I re-read my earlier post and realized it was pretty one sided. The fact is I was using these women as much as they were using me. Maybe more so, as I wasn't the one with a failing marriage to deal with. At the time, I couldn't admit this to myself, and I truly don't believe they were consciously using me. But that's what it all boils down to, and despite the fact that over 22 years have passed, I still feel a little slimy when I think about it.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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22 Jun 2011, 1:40 pm

sixis wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

In these situations, both parties will likely part ways feeling used.

What a lot of people fail to realize is that our emotions can sometimes betray us. It's always best to consider the consequences before jumping head first into a potentially volatile situation.

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22 Jun 2011, 1:43 pm

MasterJedi wrote:

No. I see nothing wrong with it. If you were separated with no chance of reconciliation, wouldn't you want to date?

I would want some time on my own to recover. If I dated immediately, any guy who I'd end up with would just be a rebound and that would make me sad.

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22 Jun 2011, 2:05 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

I would say it depends on how 'clearly' they not sleeping together and their reasons for not being divorced yet.

It's kind of a stereotype that one partner says that and lo and behold a few months down the line they're expecting a baby or something...

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