Should I break up with my girlfriend because I suck.

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CircusFreak
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03 Sep 2011, 3:57 pm

My girlfriend of 3 months who is better looking than me is with me

I am 24...jobless..back in school to try and obtian a decent job


oh and she is eighteen



She deserves better and I feel like s**t and dont feel i deserve a girlfriend.



CircusFreak
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03 Sep 2011, 3:58 pm

My grammar/spelling apparently sucks too. I hope someone is laughing at this. God, I feel pathetic...



CircusFreak
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03 Sep 2011, 4:00 pm

I'm going to a technical college for a medical trade. That's how pathetic I am.

She deserves a nice lawyer,doctor,engineer ect. like the people on here.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Sep 2011, 4:04 pm

You can just stop sucking.

Licking would be just fine.



Henbane
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03 Sep 2011, 4:05 pm

So, you're in school to get a trade? Sounds fine to me. I don't think there are many lawyers and doctors on WP, or in the world generally.
Most people have fairly normal jobs or are in education or unemployed.


Surely it's upto your girlfriend to decide whether she wants to be with you or not? If she likes you and wants to be with you, then let her. Try not to sabotage your relationship.

Why are you so down on yourself? That seems to be the big issue here.
Your self esteem seems pretty low, regardless of whether or not you have a girlfriend.



fallen_angel
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03 Sep 2011, 4:10 pm

She probably sees a side in you, you aren't able to see in yourself. Love always brings out the best in people so enjoy it. She's with you and she seems to look deeper and not in a superficial way; people like her are rare so keep her. Just realise you are a lucky guy and stop worrying.



JohnOldman
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03 Sep 2011, 4:34 pm

Let her decide for herself who she wants to be with. If she thinks you are worthwhile, and you think you are dirt, I think you owe her the effort of trying to see her side of the argument. Don't punish her because you hate yourself.

I've been in exactly your position before. I dumped my girlfriend because I couldn't imagine how she could want me... I didn't think she might actually love me. I didn't think she could possibly have a reason to.

She was crushed... hysterically heartbroken. I didn't care, because I thought it was girlish nonsense.

She didn't deserve it. I was a worthwhile person. Until I destroyed her happiness because I insisted on hating myself.

My advice is to tell her how you feel. And to see a doctor about getting on an effective antidepressant.



Chronos
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03 Sep 2011, 4:41 pm

CircusFreak wrote:
My girlfriend of 3 months who is better looking than me is with me

I am 24...jobless..back in school to try and obtian a decent job


oh and she is eighteen



She deserves better and I feel like sh** and dont feel i deserve a girlfriend.


It's not your place to decide for her if you suck or not. If she wants to break up with you over those things then she will. Obviously there are things about you that are more important to her than those things.



LostUndergrad9090
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03 Sep 2011, 5:13 pm

Yeah I have been there. It is not a good feeling.



anna-banana
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03 Sep 2011, 5:30 pm

you guys are kids... just be glad that you're one of the guys that girls want to hang around with (obviously you do not suck at all if other people seek your company). be in love and give her your love while you're both young and careless. just make sure she doesn't get pregnant.


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LostAlien
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03 Sep 2011, 5:34 pm

I would suggest to talk to her, it is most lightly that she has no idea that you're thinking this and would be very upset if you dumped her.

Now to look at the things you criticize about yourself. You're criticizing yourself for going back into education when there are other people who exist who don't have the courage to try again the way you are.

Also, I know people who have a six year age difference and met at an equivalent age to you and your girlfriend, they had to put the same amount of work into their relationship as in any healthy relationship and so I think it's more about letting you both grow together. At any age people grow and change and acceptance of this is important in a healthy relationship.

About your grammar, I see nothing wrong with it. Is someone teasing you?

Anyways, take care of yourself CircusFreak. I hope you feel better soon.


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animalcrackers
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03 Sep 2011, 5:59 pm

Does she make you happy? If you set aside your feelings of being unworthy/undeserving as a partner, would you say that you're happy to be with her? I suggest letting the answer to those questions guide your decision.

If you break up with someone solely because you think that they shouldn't want to be with you, the effect is to rob yourself and the other person of a potentially great relationship.

A PhD doesn't tell you much about someone's personality, a high paying job is something that can be gained or lost, and physical attractiveness is subjective.

If your girlfriend wants to be with you, that makes you worthy/deserving of being her partner. She probably likes you for who you are (which suggests you're probably a better person than you think), and finds you physically attractive (otherwise my guess is that she'd want to just be friends). Chances are that you make her happy, and that she cares more about your personality (e.g. how you treat others, how you think) than about how much money you make or whether you have a degree.



orchidee
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03 Sep 2011, 6:42 pm

Don't pre-emptively end the relationship... let her make the choice herself if she doesn't want to be with you.



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03 Sep 2011, 6:51 pm

anna-banana wrote:
you guys are kids... just be glad that you're one of the guys that girls want to hang around with (obviously you do not suck at all if other people seek your company). be in love and give her your love while you're both young and careless. just make sure she doesn't get pregnant.


Well said, enjoy the time you have together. If feelings change then take action but don't create problems.



AnonymousPasserBy
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03 Sep 2011, 7:36 pm

No, instead, you should get your confidence up. You're in school to get a job and you have a girlfriend. You're doing a better job than 90% of the guys on this forum.



CircusFreak
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04 Sep 2011, 10:15 am

Update:

I would like to state that im bizzare in public but seem to get along with people quite well despite aspergers.

She said she liked how I haven't pressured her into sex. I guess that's something to learn off of.


I'm not hideous either....a little overwieght(5-6 pounds) but thats it. I have worked out throughout the years so i have a decent muscle mass layer on me