Why dating sites attract more men than women, and so on.

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Chronos
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19 Jul 2017, 1:28 am

I have a theory on why dating sites attract more men than women, and actual meetings are rare.

It's said that men more often systemize and women more often empathize...clearly we are talking about NT women and in very general terms at that. However if this is generally true, then it implies that dating sites would be more alluring to men because they can search for women in a systemic, categorical way, and dating sites would be less alluring to women because it's difficult to empathize...or "feel a connection" as women might put it, with a photo and text. Additionally, and I will be very straightforward about them, a lot of women are a little afraid of opening themselves up to men they don't know, and I think this actually may be why a good number of conversations never result in an actual meet up. It's not that she loses interest in the guy, it's that her nerves get the better of her and the dimensions of attraction that can only exist in person are not there to counteract them and make her more likely to take a risk.

I think the entire premise of online dating is incompatible with the psyche and mating process of the typical NT woman.

That's my theory anyway.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2017, 1:38 am

My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.



traven
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19 Jul 2017, 1:47 am

Chronos wrote:
I have a theory on why dating sites attract more men than women, and actual meetings are rare.

It's said that men more often systemize and women more often empathize...clearly we are talking about NT women and in very general terms at that. However if this is generally true, then it implies that dating sites would be more alluring to men because they can search for women in a systemic, categorical way, and dating sites would be less alluring to women because it's difficult to empathize...or "feel a connection" as women might put it, with a photo and text. Additionally, and I will be very straightforward about them, a lot of women are a little afraid of opening themselves up to men they don't know, and I think this actually may be why a good number of conversations never result in an actual meet up. It's not that she loses interest in the guy, it's that her nerves get the better of her and the dimensions of attraction that can only exist in person are not there to counteract them and make her more likely to take a risk.

I think the entire premise of online dating is incompatible with the psyche and mating process of the typical NT woman.

That's my theory anyway.


and it's not that all male-accounts are real by any stretch, photo's and profiles can be made up, and watch out for these 'refugees' and other scam artists too
getting messages from men in their twenties who want to drive several hundred miles to a quick fix meet, really?
they're all in a hurry to meet (meat?) and have not even looked at the profile,
and 'sometimes' they get ugly real quick!



Chronos
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19 Jul 2017, 2:16 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.


Sperm with Y chromosomes are faster than sperm with X chromosomes...probably because the Y chromosome is smaller and so male sperm are lighter, so they swim faster. But sperm don't know what an egg is. They are equally attracted to certain hormone secreting tissues inside of the female reproductive tract, so they swim faster but not necessarily towards the right thing. But for this reason, and the fact that there is a preference for male children in some cultures, there are slightly more male babies than female babies, and this works out for the reasons you stated.

However the ratios are not so skewed in the west that there are significantly more single men than single women. For the bulk of single men on dating sights, there must also be a single woman out there somewhere, who has not met someone in person.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2017, 2:19 am

Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.


Sperm with Y chromosomes are faster than sperm with X chromosomes...probably because the Y chromosome is smaller and so male sperm are lighter, so they swim faster. But sperm don't know what an egg is. They are equally attracted to certain hormone secreting tissues inside of the female reproductive tract, so they swim faster but not necessarily towards the right thing. But for this reason, and the fact that there is a preference for male children in some cultures, there are slightly more male babies than female babies, and this works out for the reasons you stated.

However the ratios are not so skewed in the west that there are significantly more single men than single women. For the bulk of single men on dating sights, there must also be a single woman out there somewhere, who has not met someone in person.


Chronos, even in Sweden there are more boys than girls being born (even before refugees)- and I am sure there's no female infanticide there.



Chronos
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19 Jul 2017, 2:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.


Sperm with Y chromosomes are faster than sperm with X chromosomes...probably because the Y chromosome is smaller and so male sperm are lighter, so they swim faster. But sperm don't know what an egg is. They are equally attracted to certain hormone secreting tissues inside of the female reproductive tract, so they swim faster but not necessarily towards the right thing. But for this reason, and the fact that there is a preference for male children in some cultures, there are slightly more male babies than female babies, and this works out for the reasons you stated.

However the ratios are not so skewed in the west that there are significantly more single men than single women. For the bulk of single men on dating sights, there must also be a single woman out there somewhere, who has not met someone in person.


Chronos, even in Sweden there are more boys than girls being born (even before refugees)- and I am sure there's no female infanticide there.


I can't speak for Sweden, but the United States has either roughly equal numbers of males and females, to roughly slightly more females than males between the ages of 25 and 45 for the 2000 and 2010 census.

See the chart on page 3.

Sex distribution in the United States

So perhaps there are men without mates in Sweden but not to much in the U.S.



Closet Genious
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19 Jul 2017, 3:59 am

Chronos wrote:
I have a theory on why dating sites attract more men than women, and actual meetings are rare.

It's said that men more often systemize and women more often empathize...clearly we are talking about NT women and in very general terms at that. However if this is generally true, then it implies that dating sites would be more alluring to men because they can search for women in a systemic, categorical way, and dating sites would be less alluring to women because it's difficult to empathize...or "feel a connection" as women might put it, with a photo and text. Additionally, and I will be very straightforward about them, a lot of women are a little afraid of opening themselves up to men they don't know, and I think this actually may be why a good number of conversations never result in an actual meet up. It's not that she loses interest in the guy, it's that her nerves get the better of her and the dimensions of attraction that can only exist in person are not there to counteract them and make her more likely to take a risk.

I think the entire premise of online dating is incompatible with the psyche and mating process of the typical NT woman.

That's my theory anyway.


This theory is complete bs.

I see way more women than I see men, making lists of exact traits they want or requirements the man has to meet.



Chronos
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19 Jul 2017, 4:53 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Chronos wrote:
I have a theory on why dating sites attract more men than women, and actual meetings are rare.

It's said that men more often systemize and women more often empathize...clearly we are talking about NT women and in very general terms at that. However if this is generally true, then it implies that dating sites would be more alluring to men because they can search for women in a systemic, categorical way, and dating sites would be less alluring to women because it's difficult to empathize...or "feel a connection" as women might put it, with a photo and text. Additionally, and I will be very straightforward about them, a lot of women are a little afraid of opening themselves up to men they don't know, and I think this actually may be why a good number of conversations never result in an actual meet up. It's not that she loses interest in the guy, it's that her nerves get the better of her and the dimensions of attraction that can only exist in person are not there to counteract them and make her more likely to take a risk.

I think the entire premise of online dating is incompatible with the psyche and mating process of the typical NT woman.

That's my theory anyway.


This theory is complete bs.

I see way more women than I see men, making lists of exact traits they want or requirements the man has to meet.


Women do indeed make lists, however lists become meaningless if she feels a connection or physiological attraction to the man. But I understand how you think the list is actually significant because lists are a form of systemization and categorization. Which touches on my original point. A man can make a list...however short...for example "She must be nice, and like anime" and any woman who meets that criteria might be good enough for him...at least at first, however a man could meet everything a woman has on her list, and if she doesn't feel a connection with him, it's a no go, or conversely, he could meet nothing on her list, and if she feels a connection with him, she'll accept him....at least at first.

I should also mention that males tend to be more visual and females tend to have a more acute sense of smell, not just for typical scents, for for phermones Females can predict how attractive a man is (by their own standards) by smelling the scent on a sweat shirt, and can also determine with fairly high accuracy whether or not a man is gay using the same method. Dating profiles don't have scents and phermones. They have photos.



Last edited by Chronos on 19 Jul 2017, 5:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2017, 4:59 am

The unsolicited dick pics are also a factor.



Chronos
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19 Jul 2017, 5:09 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The unsolicited dick pics are also a factor.


True but I'm not talking about the fact that online dating has active deterrents to women. I'm talking about the fact that it doesn't have the necessary channels to trip a woman's mating circuitry.



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20 Jul 2017, 3:14 am

Chronos wrote:

Women do indeed make lists, however lists become meaningless if she feels a connection or physiological attraction to the man. But I understand how you think the list is actually significant because lists are a form of systemization and categorization. Which touches on my original point. A man can make a list...however short...for example "She must be nice, and like anime" and any woman who meets that criteria might be good enough for him...at least at first, however a man could meet everything a woman has on her list, and if she doesn't feel a connection with him, it's a no go, or conversely, he could meet nothing on her list, and if she feels a connection with him, she'll accept him....at least at first.

I don't know should also mention that males tend to be more visual and females tend to have a more acute sense of smell, not just for typical scents, for for phermones Females can predict how attractive a man is (by their own standards) by smelling the scent on a sweat shirt, and can also determine with fairly high accuracy whether or not a man is gay using the same method. Dating profiles don't have scents and phermones. They have photos.


My therapist would agree with you since she has mentioned men tend to be more visual than women.

I also read in a textbook in a psychology class that men are attracted to a pheromone in female urine while women are attracted to a pheromone in male sweat. Apparently it's reversed in lesbians and gays; I don't mean this in a homophobic way because I am not, just citing something I read.

https://www.macalester.edu/academics/ps ... mones.html



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20 Jul 2017, 5:29 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The unsolicited dick pics are also a factor.

Ah c'mon, Boo, everyone loves a dick pic now and again! Right?
:?


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naturalplastic
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20 Jul 2017, 6:43 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.


Sperm with Y chromosomes are faster than sperm with X chromosomes...probably because the Y chromosome is smaller and so male sperm are lighter, so they swim faster. But sperm don't know what an egg is. They are equally attracted to certain hormone secreting tissues inside of the female reproductive tract, so they swim faster but not necessarily towards the right thing. But for this reason, and the fact that there is a preference for male children in some cultures, there are slightly more male babies than female babies, and this works out for the reasons you stated.

However the ratios are not so skewed in the west that there are significantly more single men than single women. For the bulk of single men on dating sights, there must also be a single woman out there somewhere, who has not met someone in person.


Chronos, even in Sweden there are more boys than girls being born (even before refugees)- and I am sure there's no female infanticide there.

Earth to Boo

Births don't matter.

Its common knowledge that women out number men in the USA by two percentage points. More boys maybe born, but more girls make it to adulthood. The same with other industrialized countries. So in industrialized countries women out number men by a small significant number.

In third world countries its different. They practice selective infanticide against females. So in China, India, and Africa, adult males are the slight majority.



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20 Jul 2017, 6:59 am

Chronos wrote:
I have a theory on why dating sites attract more men than women, and actual meetings are rare.

It's said that men more often systemize and women more often empathize...clearly we are talking about NT women and in very general terms at that. However if this is generally true, then it implies that dating sites would be more alluring to men because they can search for women in a systemic, categorical way, and dating sites would be less alluring to women because it's difficult to empathize...or "feel a connection" as women might put it, with a photo and text. Additionally, and I will be very straightforward about them, a lot of women are a little afraid of opening themselves up to men they don't know, and I think this actually may be why a good number of conversations never result in an actual meet up. It's not that she loses interest in the guy, it's that her nerves get the better of her and the dimensions of attraction that can only exist in person are not there to counteract them and make her more likely to take a risk.

I think the entire premise of online dating is incompatible with the psyche and mating process of the typical NT woman.

That's my theory anyway.


i'd mostly agree with this. men are risk takers and will agree to meet a stranger based upon physical appeal whereas, women are more guarded and need more than just physical appeal, they need "time" to exit the safety of online interaction.
for a female - this means a prolonged interaction in order to satisfy themselves that they are "somewhat" compatible and to establish that the person they are speaking to does not have the makings of an axe-murderer and will be safe to meet/worth meeting.
for a male - i like your profile. let's meet! followed by surprise at being ghosted.

i can remember being bombarded when i joined a date site and i can also remember the nut jobs i met on there. online dating is much like lifting up a rock and seeing all the creepy-crawlies come scurrying out.

nutjobs abound online, irrespective of gender, and reticence is wise.

for the sake of clarity, i should add that this was how i approached online dating...i don't speak for all women. tho i need to add, there were often comments in the forums echoing what i felt at the time.



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20 Jul 2017, 8:42 am

naturalplastic wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
My theory is different:

Reason 1: Women in general don't need dating sites in order to get a date, as long they have a minimum social life, so why risking? (That's why almost more than half of women on them are single moms, because the single mom role is very detrimental to their social life)

Reason 2: There are more males than females in the world, the male:female ratio of human birth is not really 1:1; it's more like between 101:100 and 102:100 (there's an evolutionary reason behind that: males are supposed to be more likely to die); that's a lot on a large population scale; I bet the "surplus" of the least desirable men are found there, in dating sites.


Sperm with Y chromosomes are faster than sperm with X chromosomes...probably because the Y chromosome is smaller and so male sperm are lighter, so they swim faster. But sperm don't know what an egg is. They are equally attracted to certain hormone secreting tissues inside of the female reproductive tract, so they swim faster but not necessarily towards the right thing. But for this reason, and the fact that there is a preference for male children in some cultures, there are slightly more male babies than female babies, and this works out for the reasons you stated.

However the ratios are not so skewed in the west that there are significantly more single men than single women. For the bulk of single men on dating sights, there must also be a single woman out there somewhere, who has not met someone in person.


Chronos, even in Sweden there are more boys than girls being born (even before refugees)- and I am sure there's no female infanticide there.

Earth to Boo

Births don't matter.

Its common knowledge that women out number men in the USA by two percentage points. More boys maybe born, but more girls make it to adulthood. The same with other industrialized countries. So in industrialized countries women out number men by a small significant number.

In third world countries its different. They practice selective infanticide against females. So in China, India, and Africa, adult males are the slight majority.


I am talking about natural birth sex ratio.
Don't you think that 60+ old people are way less likely to be use dating sites? It's the sex ratio of the 18-50 age range that matters to most users here.

Who cares here if there are more females than males for people over 60-70?? We're not going to date our mom/grandmas' friends, duh! Not all of us are like the French president.

Here's the US population, the bold ranges are what matters to 90% of male users here.

0-14 years: 18.84% (male 31,182,660/female 29,854,687)
15-24 years: 13.46% (male 22,360,342/female 21,252,215) ==> 1,108,127 male surplus
25-54 years: 39.6% (male 64,170,791/female 64,135,619) ==> 35,172 male surplus

55-64 years: 12.85% (male 20,081,837/female 21,536,994)
65 years and over: 15.25% (male 21,895,128/female 27,525,255) (2016 est.)

There's estimated 1 Million of active users on Okcupid; and I am sure the majority are young.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jul 2017, 8:52 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The unsolicited dick pics are also a factor.

Ah c'mon, Boo, everyone loves a dick pic now and again! Right?
:?


Ok, check your inbox.