I suck at meeting girls or a girlfriend.

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It's probably the attitude. Change the attitude, and everything will shift in different ways. Definitely easier said than done, but it's the only way to improve your situation. "Change your attitude" is not useless or stupid advice, it's probably the best advice you could be given.

Plus I agree with mds_02 in that we don't have stuff handed to us on a silver platter, like some other people do, but we can still get stuff if we work hard enough for it.

Why would you want a GF when theirs porn ? (I'm being serious)

I'm no dumb jock, nor am I especially good-looking, nor do I have much money. But I am fairly intelligent, I try to treat people kindly, and I am honest and straightforward. These qualities have always been enough to attract women. Maybe not as many women as some NT guys, but enough. I am convinced you have the first quality, the other two can be cultivated easily enough if you do not already have them.



Can I ask how you've gone about looking? And how much time you spend looking? Single NT guys spend a lot of their time looking. Most of their time, even. With the disadvantages an aspie guy faces, we need to spend even more time, put in more effort, to get results.

Is it possible that you've missed the signs that a woman likes you? We tend to miss or misread people's social cues. If we didn't, we wouldn't have Asperger's and wouldn't be here. Women will rarely tell you outright that they are into you. I've often been told after the fact that a girl was flirting with me, and that I was just too thick to see it.

Because of that, I've had to basically just tell women that I like them, and see how they react (of course, I try to make a little conversation first, lead up to it). It's terrifying. Some have reacted very poorly. When they do, all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die. But there are many women out there who find that kind of honesty refreshing. A lot of women are just as sick of all the game-playing involved in dating as we are.

How do you let a girl know that you are interested in her? I used to go out, talk to women, then wait for sure signs that they were interested before I was willing to make a move. My low self-esteem would convince me that any sign I did see (those that made it through the wall of aspieness) was just my imagination. So I'd never make a move. Is it possible you're doing the same?

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone to share your life with. I'd hate to see you remain miserable and alone because you've convinced yourself otherwise.

Because porn won't make you a sandwich when you're done with it.

Because a woman is more than just a vagina. Maybe others have different priorities, but to me (even after years with the same girl), not being alone anymore is the most glorious feeling in the world. And even if it is just about sex to you, why watch porn when you can make your own?

You Porn?

I've edited this post as it was offensive and was warned by mods so I'll be a good boy and do as they wish.

Last edited by aussiebloke on 06 Oct 2011, 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My girl is no "glorified prostitute." There have been long stretches where I've had plenty of money, and even longer stretches where I've had none at all. She has never treated me any differently because of it. It's not that she doesn't have her flaws, but caring about a guy's money is not one of them.

The whole thing is, some people can be trusted. It is part of the nature of our condition that we have a hard time telling who can be trusted. And the untrustworthy people are drawn to our weakness. But that does not mean that the trustworthy people are not out there, or that we cannot find them if we work hard enough.

And, the fact is, if he wants a relationship (and given how depressed he is about it, I'm sure he does) he does need to change.

Sorry SadAspy, I didn't mean to talk about you as though you weren't there.

aussiebloke is going to be asked to remove that statement as soon as Im done with this post.

As stated several times already name calling a entire gender is not ok and we do our best to make sure that it doesnt happen frequently.

I'm liking this aussiebloke guy......he gets it.

And spongy, I don't care if anyone says all men are evil or even says that about me specifically. I've been called every name in the book by women, so I simply don't care....

You seem to ignore anyone who tries to give you advice.

The fact you don't have enough interests is likely the main killer of the fact you can't get anyone. Get interesting and meet people.

Its not about you caring or not its about the rules saying that that kind of hate speech isnt allowed here and if we allowed it in some threads because posters were cool with it other people would start using it outside these threads and justify their actions by saying that its allowed at whatever thread.

I'll give you credit for giving a reason other than my "bad attitude," but this is still a stretch. Lack of interests? How am I supposed to help that? Aspies in general tend to have few interests, so I'm not outside the norm here.

rubbish aspies don't have few interests. They are just really intense with the interests they do have.

How are you supposed to help it? You try new things. You learn new stuff. There are thousands of things out there waiting to be experienced and its no-ones fault but your own if you don't try them.

Surely you can't be so boring you hardly find anything interesting?

I can see whats going on here.

You started out not hating women, which is fine. But you aren't interesting and don't do anything, hence you don't get anywhere. The bitterness develops after you don't get anywhere, yet you don't do anything to improve your situation, and the new bitterness doesn't help.

Surely your time would be less wasted blaming other people for why your life sucks and better used to try and make it better, at least for your own sake?

If you are truly depressed you need to get on some sort of medication. If you're not depressed you aren't making enough effort.

Yes, you have aspergers, and that handicaps us against NTs. But so does everyone else here. You can't say it's entirely the fault of aspergers when many here have a reasonably good life with friends and GFs.
Look at the founder of this site. He has aspergers. Look at what he chose to make of his life!

And before you say looks, not every aspie here is "hot" or whatever, but somehow still manage to get GF's? It's not looks.

The ones I know in real life have few interests.



Yet you can't even name one.



Yeah...I am.



It is others' fault. I did everything society expected of me....followed the rules, was polite to people, and got an education....what's my reward? I'm broke, alone, and living in my parents' house. This society SUCKS!



I'm on medication.



I never said it was entirely the fault of Aspergers. The guys here who have GF's are better-looking (which doesn't necessarily mean "hot") and/or have money.

Really. That doesn't mean it's not possible. I know a lot of boring people but also HEAPS of interesting aspies, too.



cooking
baking
skydiving
rock climbing
going to the gym
painting
drawing
crafts
cake decorating
boxing
book clubs
UFO conventions
(insert just about anything in the world here) fan clubs
toast masters
photography
astronomical society
Card games clubs
role playing clubs
Animal shelters
Fundraising for a good cause
feed the homeless
plants and nature
gardening clubs
Youth groups
Young professional social groups
ten pin bowling
boats
building things
business as a hobby
sewing
yoga
spirituality groups

For god sake, if my reasonably small town has over 400 up and coming events (http://www.eventfinder.co.nz/), you can't honestly tell me there is nothing you can do or find.

It's not my job to find something for you, it's yours. I don't know what you're willing to try.



You seem to think society owes you something. It doesn't. If you want proof of that look at the people just struggling to stay alive every day. If your degree is worthless, train in something that isn't worthless. No-one is in control except you.



Well it doesn't seem to work.



lol really. Can you name them please? Bet you can't.

Even if I'm willing to try some of these, they cost money (in some cases, it may only be gas and wear and tear on my car, but that's still SOMETHING).



Then why do you bother lecturing me?



And I owe nothing to it. Hopefully, this horrible world will get what's coming to it.



You just bring out a strong reaction in me. You represent everything that is wrong with women.



I haven't seen many pics. Can you name the ones that are worse-looking and/or poorer than me?