how much should a guy spend on a woman?

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OneStepBeyond
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08 Nov 2011, 9:04 pm

I dunno if i'd like being sat down and serving people towering above me. i wonder how that looks from their viewpoint. can't think of any supermarkets here where they stand up. except that pesky lidls...

i have a love affair with aldi's salad cream, dunno about the rest

we have the thrillingest conversations we do



zen_mistress
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08 Nov 2011, 9:14 pm

Personally I feel the following applies.

1) Man should offer to pay for the first date, and I will then turn the offer down. This sets a good tone for the rest of the relationship: man proves he is willing to go the extra mile for me and I will then prove I would not take advantage of that.

2) Man will buy gifts for me at times . He will remember my birthday or valentines and buy me flowers or something else every now and then.

3) It will be a 2 way street, I will also buy the man gifts from time to time and stuff on his birthday, Valentines, or just for the hell of it.

4) I love gifts. I love giving and receiving them.


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1000Knives
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09 Nov 2011, 12:24 am

I don't know, I'd probably spend under 10 bucks. Mainly cuz if I was going out on a date, I'd sure as hell almost never have 10 bucks to blow on a meal anyway. So it's not like I'd be treating myself better than her.

The way I look at it, with that amount of money spent on a meal, I'm not treating her any differently than I would a male friend who I'm going out to eat with, with my male friends, we just sorta alternate paying depending on who's doing well moneywise that week. So for a girl, I'd treat her the same, no $200 sushi first dates or anything like that.

Discounting that, unless she's happy with relatively cheap food at a few select foreign restaurants that I know I can get reasonable quality and food at (Indian food FTW) I'd say the best date for me would be showing off how great of a cook I am. Wait, you're not supposed to be a blatant cocky showoff to girls, right? Damn. I am a good cook, though.

Man I'm gonna suck at dating. I should go invite some girls to disassemble engines with me or something. It'd be free and I'd maybe get more done. Yay...



myth
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09 Nov 2011, 1:06 pm

I've been married twice and dated 4 guys in total and I can probably count on one hand the number of times a man has paid for my dinner. I do not consider it a prerequisite or even a bonus. 90% of the time I have gone out to dinner with a significant other, I have paid for both of us and I have not resented that at all. It's pretty much irrelevant, really.

Everything should be judged based on the circumstances, not the genders.

People who make descisions based on what gender the other person is, frankly, sicken me. But to each his own, I suppose.

I also have never recieved (or expected) a Valentine's Day present and I got my first Birthday present this past summer - from my husband's family, not from my husband. He knows me better than that :P Imo, it is all about the attitude, not the price tag. If my husband takes the dogs out for a walk or microwaves me some dinner or calls me at work - those are presents. It shows he cares and was thinking about me. It doesn't have to cost any money at all. Besides, a present bought out of obligation (holiday, birthday) is invalidated in my opinion.


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nana80
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09 Nov 2011, 2:40 pm

I think, the man should offer to pay, then the woman should say I can pay but in the end the man should insist to say. Then she can say: ok, I pay next time and so we have a good reason for meeting again.

I think a first going out should be to drink a coffee or coke somewhere. If the man would just by coke in a supermarket to drink outside instead of sitting down I would think he is either very much "dont want to spend money" or he is too poor to sustain himself. If he wants to go for something expaensive like cocktail or food I would think "what does he want in return for this?"



shrox
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09 Nov 2011, 3:00 pm

You can't judge a book by it's cover, but you can tell how much it is going to cost.



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09 Nov 2011, 5:08 pm

The OP suggested that the man pay for the first three dates, and afterwards go dutch treat. I can see so many ways that this could go wrong. It sets a precedent, and the only way to suddenly change the rules at date four is to bluntly tell her that from here on in, she's paying her own way, which could make her think that your feelings have changed. Go dutch from the start, or plan on paying for all dates indefinitely.
Like some others have said, dates don't have to cost anything at all. If you're set on meeting up at a restaurant, choose atmosphere over swank. I can think of a dozen places in my neighborhood, off the top of my head, that are interesting, intimate, and beautiful, and also serve great food at a very reasonable price (around 10 US and up). But the person who makes the invite should at least offer to pay.
If you've had several such dates, and she's taken you up on the offer to pay each time with little or no resistance, you've got a red flag.
Further: the idea that a woman shouldn't have to pay for her food/ entertainment because she's possibly spent money on hair/ nails/ clothing for the date is silly. Very few women, even the very image- conscious, go to a stylist before a date. I do dress up (partly to show my interest, and partly because I think it's fun), but I can't remember a time when I bought a new outfit just for a guy. If I did, I surely wore it again. A man might but a certain car to impress women. Does this mean he should subtract that cost from his dating budget? Silly.

The great thing about money is that the more you have, the less you (ostensibly) have to think about it. It can't but happiness, it certainly can't buy love, but it can, and should, buy some measure of security. Anyone who looks at it otherwise isn't worth your energy.



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09 Nov 2011, 7:09 pm

I met an Ivorian woman who told me that black girls were different. They need your money and then they'll take care of you sexually and with food. I quite like the idea that if I mess up personally all I have to do is earn a stack of cash.



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10 Nov 2011, 7:28 pm

I was always told never to accept presents from strangers, and if it's oK why are their not Op's "how much should women spend on |men on 1st dates" because it doesn't happen you see many women (most???) expect to be treated as inferiors you see when they accept presents from strangers or disproportionally accept presents in their favour their saying I'm to stupid/lacking self respect to go out and buy my own.



If some one where to buy me a present I'd think they where daft than I'd question their motives though due to my terrible outlook on life I've never been in such a situation which suits me just fine.



Having said that a Powerade and a can a chickpeas after a long (bicyle) ride would make me mighty happy

I'm easy in that regard unlike most people so it seems. :)


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10 Nov 2011, 9:23 pm

1. how many dates should the man pay for?
NONE. You should pay only for yourself. Believe it for not, when you pay for dates, especially the first date, you come off as needy and any typical girl will see it as you trying to win her approval. If there's a case where a girl will get mad for you not paying for her, then it's obvious she was more interested in a free meal than she was seeing you.

2. is a cheap first date offensive or logical?
What do you mean by cheap? Why does there have to be a monetary value to dates? It's you getting to know someone who you may potentially form a relationship with. In fact, an expensive date will usually backfire because a girl will see it as you trying too hard to impress her and as an example of you giving up your manhood.

3. how far into the relationship until expensive gifts should be given?
Contrary to popular belief, gifts need not be expensive and you should be the one to decide when to give her one. The main reason women appreciate gifts from their boyfriends is because it shows they were thinking about them. Such gifts should only be given every once in a while. Your love is more important.



Esther
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11 Nov 2011, 1:02 am

ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Image



Chronos
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12 Nov 2011, 4:03 am

I think this is really something that should be negotiated between the couple as it can vary greatly depending on the situation.

However many women might interpret his unwillingness to pay for a dinner as a sign that he is not interested in her romantically.

A man may also interpret a woman who insists on paying as a sign that she's not interested in him romantically.

So as not to risk sending the wrong message, it is probably best that the man offer to pay when he would like to convey that he is interested romantically, and for the woman not to decline if she is interested romantically.

That being said, the choice of restaurant should be one that is affordable with respect to his budget.



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12 Nov 2011, 10:18 am

No one should pay for anyone to do or have anything if the sole reason is different sets of genitals.

Just saying.

I think joint activities (movies, equal ticket cost) should be split in proportion to each person's income,
and otherwise (like at restaurants, where people order two different things, usually) everyone should pay for their own.
Paying half never made sense to me.


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AsteroidNap
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12 Nov 2011, 11:46 am

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I once bought a female companion dinner, but the other three got jealous. So now the women insist on paying the bill.



Grisha
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12 Nov 2011, 11:49 am

AsteroidNap wrote:
Image

I once bought a female companion dinner, but the other three got jealous. So now the women insist on paying the bill.


I hate when that happens, why can't they just share me like mature adults? :?



AsteroidNap
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12 Nov 2011, 12:03 pm

Grisha wrote:
AsteroidNap wrote:
Image

I once bought a female companion dinner, but the other three got jealous. So now the women insist on paying the bill.


I hate when that happens, why can't they just share me like mature adults? :?


I know. As with the most interesting man in the world, there is ALWAYS enough to go around. :P