Page 1 of 2 [ 23 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

13 Nov 2011, 6:34 pm

That I have been rejected alot of fine young ladies, I pretty much found this girl I had a crush on then I found her on facebook and msg her saying how I felt about her and she told me too suck it and blocked me.
When we met she was all flrity and I was kinda expecting this because there were times she kept saying "well if you don't like us get the f**k out of our face"
How do I stop rejecting females like this?



SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

13 Nov 2011, 6:46 pm

If you declare undying love to every woman you meet, you will have a 100% failure rate.

Start things a little more casual. Build a positive interaction.



Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

13 Nov 2011, 10:53 pm

number2 wrote:
That I have been rejected alot of fine young ladies, I pretty much found this girl I had a crush on then I found her on facebook and msg her saying how I felt about her and she told me too suck it and blocked me.
When we met she was all flrity and I was kinda expecting this because there were times she kept saying "well if you don't like us get the f**k out of our face"
How do I stop rejecting females like this?


How well did this girl know you? It's advisable to form a mutual social relationships with someone such that they get the chance to know you, and you get the chance to know them, before you divulge that you have romantic interest in them.

If she barely knows you and you tell her of your romantic feelings she will likely think you are creepy because you don't actually know her and thus your feelings are a result of some "secret" relationship with an image of her you have constructed in your mind. Nor has she had the chance to form any affinity for you.



MacDragard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 542

13 Nov 2011, 11:19 pm

Creepiness aside, when you tell a woman how you feel about her, especially when she doesn't know you that well, you yield your control and power to her. That is one of the last things a woman wants a guy to do. Most guys do it thinking if they dump all their feelings over women they have crushes for that said women would somehow feel the same way. The truth is exactly the opposite. You need to be in control. She should be the one chasing after you; not vise versa.



SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

13 Nov 2011, 11:39 pm

MacDragard wrote:
Creepiness aside, when you tell a woman how you feel about her, especially when she doesn't know you that well, you yield your control and power to her. That is one of the last things a woman wants a guy to do. Most guys do it thinking if they dump all their feelings over women they have crushes for that said women would somehow feel the same way. The truth is exactly the opposite. You need to be in control. She should be the one chasing after you; not vise versa.


An accurate and insightful post.

The part in bold is misleading.

Men do the chasing.

Further. It's possible to propose on the first date and still have a positive relationship with the woman.



hyperlexian
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,997
Location: with bucephalus

14 Nov 2011, 12:19 am

Chronos wrote:
number2 wrote:
That I have been rejected alot of fine young ladies, I pretty much found this girl I had a crush on then I found her on facebook and msg her saying how I felt about her and she told me too suck it and blocked me.
When we met she was all flrity and I was kinda expecting this because there were times she kept saying "well if you don't like us get the f**k out of our face"
How do I stop rejecting females like this?


How well did this girl know you? It's advisable to form a mutual social relationships with someone such that they get the chance to know you, and you get the chance to know them, before you divulge that you have romantic interest in them.

If she barely knows you and you tell her of your romantic feelings she will likely think you are creepy because you don't actually know her and thus your feelings are a result of some "secret" relationship with an image of her you have constructed in your mind. Nor has she had the chance to form any affinity for you.

^^^this.

if you aren't already friends on FB, then telling her how you feel on there crosses a line. i occasionally get men adding me as friends then straight off flirting with me on the site. it is not a recipe for romantic success.



number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

14 Nov 2011, 1:16 pm

Alright but I think I'll go up to some girl that I like and tell her what I think about her. and post back how that would work. I'm 20 and never had a serious realtionship only like kids play but I kept rejected the girl who was intersted or came on too strongly.



deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Nov 2011, 1:35 pm

I understand your wish to have a girlfriend, but you should find someone who is sincerely interested in you. Some girls flirt to get attention. Others do it so they can feel wanted and not because they like you. Some flirt because they DO like you and would like you to approach them.

Still, you should take things slowly. You should see what this girl wants. Relationships require time. Go one step at a time. When you meet a girl who seems friendly, don't confess your feelings to her; talk about casual stuff. If she seems to like you, don't confess your feelings to her; ask her out, even as friends. It takes time. Girls don't want "random people" to flirt with them or ask them out. You need to slowly build a connection.



number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

14 Nov 2011, 2:17 pm

Alright f**k it!
I like someone on this forum I won't say who but I don't know if they like me so what can I say to them?
It's really hard telling someone you like them, even tho I needed alot of promtiong from peers I have had a very hard time saying it becuase I feel like everyone dislikes me and in all my life I had usually had more negative soical experinces.



deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Nov 2011, 2:25 pm

number2 wrote:
Alright f**k it!


Huh?

number2 wrote:
I like someone on this forum I won't say who but I don't know if they like me so what can I say to them?
It's really hard telling someone you like them, even tho I needed alot of promtiong from peers I have had a very hard time saying it becuase I feel like everyone dislikes me and in all my life I had usually had more negative soical experinces.


Start by chatting with this person via personal messages. I mean on friendly chat, not: "I like you, wanna be my girlfriend?" Learn more about her and talk about stuff you like the stuff she likes. Wait till she opens yourself to her. Only then tell her you have feelings for her. I mean, this girl can't like you if she doesn't know anything about you and if she's never talked to you. So, talk to her.



hyperlexian
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,997
Location: with bucephalus

14 Nov 2011, 2:27 pm

number2 wrote:
Alright f**k it!
I like someone on this forum I won't say who but I don't know if they like me so what can I say to them?
It's really hard telling someone you like them, even tho I needed alot of promtiong from peers I have had a very hard time saying it becuase I feel like everyone dislikes me and in all my life I had usually had more negative soical experinces.

ooooooooh sounds exciting! i'd get talking to them via PM in a friendly way if you haven't already done so.

maybe there will be a way to become friends so then you can let her know how you feel in a while (not at first). basically, the best way is to start slowly, in little bits. i.e. hinting about it after a few messages by saying things like, "i really enjoy talking to you", "it makes me happy to have these chats", "i'm glad that i met you" etc. if you tell someone straight off the bat it might feel like a bit much.

good luck!



number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

14 Nov 2011, 2:37 pm

Yeah I already talk to her alot but we never meet so is it wrong to tell her I like her on the internet?
Also she was the one that started writing about me on the forum comparing me to some jack off that wanted to do the same thing as I wanted to do so I was a bit pissed off but I've done somthing wrose to someone else so it's fair game. =)



deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Nov 2011, 2:54 pm

hyperlexian is right. Just take it slowly. Let he know how much you enjoy your conversations. You can tell her you can't wait for her next message. Or you can tell her you've been thinking about her. That sort of things. Not: "I think I'm in love with you" for now. See how she responds. See if she says she's been enjoying your emails/messages. See if she tells you she's been thinking about you.



number2
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 288

14 Nov 2011, 3:30 pm

deconstruction wrote:
hyperlexian is right. Just take it slowly. Let he know how much you enjoy your conversations. You can tell her you can't wait for her next message. Or you can tell her you've been thinking about her. That sort of things. Not: "I think I'm in love with you" for now. See how she responds. See if she says she's been enjoying your emails/messages. See if she tells you she's been thinking about you.


I guess I kinda asked somthing werid but I'll wait for a response and say somthing along the lines like...



SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

14 Nov 2011, 4:19 pm

number2 wrote:
Alright but I think I'll go up to some girl that I like and tell her what I think about her. and post back how that would work. I'm 20 and never had a serious realtionship only like kids play but I kept rejected the girl who was intersted or came on too strongly.


You have a lot of sexual energy pent up inside you. This almost guarantees that you will over-commit to every woman who might be interested. This is a recipe for failure.

I would suggest dissipating the sexual energy by casually flirting with many women, perhaps on an online dating site. This way you have many friends who sort of like you. It's an amazing feeling, and releases the internal pressure that you feel.

Along with this is practicing the social skills that a woman desires in her boyfriend. Focus on learning the social skills. When you are confident to have a relationship, you have access to a pool of women who like you on some level. This is a good thing.