I have strong feelings for my best friend.
eg "I really like you and I want you to kiss me on the lips for a long time, right now"
I don't think I'd respond to that very well.
"I really like you..." -- This is good.
"...and I want you to kiss me on the lips for a long time, right now." -- Not so good.
I'd rather someone not talk about what they physically want to do with me until after I've responded positively to them telling me they really like me. And "right now" adds an element of putting me on the spot, which makes it even worse.
I had strong feelings for a girl I was a good friend of, and I never told her how I felt. I believe for a time she might have had feelings for me, too. Anyway, the problem is, you're not going to remain good friends anymore, as to be good friends, you need to be honest with each other. So, if you're dishonest by omission every time you see him or talk to him, then you're not gonna be friends for very long, it's sorta that simple. So, I don't know, eventually, in my opinion/experience, you're either going to have to tell him how you feel or stop being friends with him. However, the problem is, that telling how you feel is risky, as there's a probability the friendship will end if you do that, but I can almost guarantee not telling how you feel will make your friendship die a slow agonizing death.
That's my advice, take it for what you want.
That's my advice, take it for what you want.
i agree with this 100%.
That is a good point, and I have thought of that. I don't like lying to him all the time, because he is my best friend. This may sound strange, but it seems like he's supposed to be a part of my life, it's like a vibe I get. I have found that when you meet people they are automatically sorted in to a certain group: Significant long term, significant short term, temporary fix, long term acquaintance, short term acquaintance, friend only, friend possibility, other etc. Without a doubt he was sorted in to my significant long term group, and I have felt this way since day 1. That may sound like a creeper, but that's how I feel.
I don't want to lose his friendship. I am working on a way to tell him.
Either because she's married, or she's unsuitable, or you can't get laid because you have your mum with you or whatever.
Or lack of experience (simply not knowing how to proceed)
You could just write it down, hand it to him. Old school. Pen and paper. Could be romantic, and if you make it as a couple something to show the grandkids in 40 years.
First, as I said in another thread much like this one, I really think you ought to tell him somehow. The friendship won't be the same from this point on either way, and if you hide it, you will always be wondering.
But I also feel the need to say that just because you are not a "goo goo eyed young teen", it's possible he might be, even if he's a chronological adult.
One of the most frustrating things in my life right now is the realization that I never made it through that adolescent stage of having feelings toward someone just because she is interesting, and wanting a girl to show feelings of a similar character. I find myself among people, most of whom seem to have moved beyond this stage. Therefore, the only thing as bad as a girl who only sees me exclusively platonically is one whose feelings have only two "settings", platonic and seriously, adultishly in love.
So there are really three possibilities for how he feels. He could see you as just a friend, he could want something serious and long-term with you, or he could be the "teen who finds you interesting", but who will fall in and out of "love" easily. It's up to you if this distinction would even matter to you.
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