Why do seeking relationships seem to go downhill in your 20s

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So I'm 23, High functioning autistic, my love life has pretty much been non existent. I had one girl friend for 3 months back in 2007, but I don't think she considered it to be a relationship as she never once referred to me as her boy friend in front of anyone (just her best friend). The other closest thing I've had was a 2 year long distance/online relationship with a girl from NC (I live in OR) I'm sure people will argue that long distance relationships aren't real and what not, but it was to me. We talked online/on the phone practically every night, sent each other presents in the mail on bday, xmas, valentines day anniversary, etc. July of 2010 after dropping out of college for 3 years and my scholarship expiring I got a job at Costco and have been there ever sense. Towards the coming of our 2 year anniversary last December I was gonna pay for her to be able to come her and visit, but she decided to get pregnant with someone elses twins a week before it happened and that was the end of that. Moving on.....

After her I decided to try my luck with people in the real world. The median age range of people where I work at is 18-30, but most of them are married, bf/gf lives with them, or have kids. Heck theres people there younger them me that have TWO kids already. And now this new thing is going on where I swear people are just impregnating people (so far we have 4 this year) So as you can see, I really prefer not to date anyone at work. Not saying if you have kids is a reason not to date someone, but as someone who doesn't have any and no experience with raising them obviously, its really not my first choice, not to mention all the complications that come along with it such as baby daddy issues and what not, I'd just rather avoid it all if I can. But this all brings me to my delima. I don't know if where I live in Oregon is just a bad city or what, but for the life of me, it seems like when you turn 20, it all goes down hill. I've tried dating sites and the majority of the people on there have kids or just got out of a divorce (or still trying to get one). Its like trying to find people that have never been married and don't have kids is now a lost art! and the VERY few people I find on my free dating sites that meet this criteria I have to do an FBI back ground check on because most of them are underage users and I'm tired of people lieing about their age to me! I've only had one girl so far that I've managed to go on a date with that met those criteria and was of legal age. Took her out to dinner, payed for it and everything. Despite laughing and having a good time with me, would not speak to me again after I took her home. Not on text, email, facebook, nothing! Then she texted me 2 weeks later claiming her dog was dying and asked if she could borrow money. I think the sad truth is she only saved my number because she knew I had a job and money (she has none). I'd like to find someone while I'm still young, but with my adventures in dating sites and what not, I'm not liking what the world has to offer me right now. I'm sure as heck not gonna waste money on payed dating sites, I don't believe love is something you should have to buy. But in the end of I'm still not in any better shape then I was when I started this adventure a year ago. Anyone else seem to have this same problem with dating in your 20's? And please, nobody give me the "you'll find someone eventually" line. I'm really quite sick of hearing it because the only people that say it to me are the ones that are in a relationship/engaged/married and are usually only saying it out of feeling sorry for me. This isn't the movies, this is real life. Contrary to what society may believe your just not given someone, or someone magically pops up just because someone treated you bad or hurt you.

I see people in 20s and even in 30s stumbling on relationships all the time, date in - date out ; relation in - relation out....

No, it's not an over-20 issue.

You'll either find someone eventually or be alone forever.

Autistic learning is blocky. You need experience of getting things wrong lots of times, without letting your attitude turn bad, before you suddenly get it. It will happen suddenly, you'll become an overnight expert. Provided you put in the hours and keep your chin up. That's a true fact. Your choice.

This is a tough one. I am 31 now and have never been married or had any kids but I have had a few long-term relationships.

Ten years ago when I was in my early twenties, I dated really consistently but I think it was because I was an attractive female engineering student. So, basically I was the only chick in most of my classes and got asked out a lot because of it.

Now that i am in my 30s, I still date consistently but am far more choosy than I was at your age. It sounds like you have developed heightened discernment earlier than most which is good and bad. It is good because you are less likely to settle for someone that sucks. It is bad because you might spend a large chunk of your young life single...which would be fine except that you want a partner.

It also sounds like you must be in a city east of the Cascade mountains as west of the Cascade range, people seem far more liberal and less likely to couple off and procreate in their early twenties. I live in Idaho and being 31, childless and never married makes me somewhat of a pariah. It is important to remember that is not the norm in all areas of the country.

Do try to remember that it really is better to be single than be in a relationship with someone that sucks. Also, good for you for doing background checks on potential dates. It is always a good idea i think.

I'm 27 and haven't been able to find a nice guy. I tried dating websites and they were all creepers. The guys I do know are in a relationship/married or just players. So I'm settling for loner.

I am 31 and have been essentially single since I was 27. It isn't so bad...no one ever uses my Xbox, eats my favorite food, or messes with my Netflix queue and I get to do whatever I want on Friday and Saturday nights. I dig it!

Totally agree with the OP after the lifestory. To me, it does seem that 18 to 30s are either in a relationship, married, have kids or don't give you a chance since you portray your spectrum disorders. We can say all we want about it on here since these people don't understand our lives. I'm not even in the same area yet it does look this is plausibly true.
Money can't buy me love.

All that happens is that once people hit their 20's, they are less likely to date just to date, and more likely to date with the hope of it being serious. And they have a better sense of who they might be serious with. Volume goes down, but quality goes up.

And 23 is so young. Way too young to freak out over being alone.

I met my husband when I was 34.

My sister got married at 42.

Some of us just have different time schedules than society seems to want to sell us.

Its not so much the fact that I'm afraid of being alone, being alone is all I've been pretty much. I agree that most people in their 20's probably are aiming for more "serious" things instead of "just to date". If things turned out ok and got serious thats fine, but my problem is I can't even find people to date because most of them are preg/have kids/married etc. As I said before, nothing wrong with having kids, and thats certainly not a reason not to date them or be friends with them, I'm friends with plenty of people at work and what not that have kids. But, being someone that doesn't have kids or knows how to raise them, I just don't wanna get myself attached to someone with kids, because what do I do then? I can't even picture myself having kids or being a parents at this point in my life right now.

Not only that but also the single mums may look for financial stability in a partner which is not what I have and not a lot of males are at that age. Also would freak ou
t if I would be paying out for a child that is not mine
Funny how it is all about it being serious yet they can still be quite immature as they want?