I Think It is Impossible For Me to Get In A Relationship

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Civ001
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11 Jan 2012, 5:51 pm

I am 18 and one of my main goals this year is to start a relationship with someone. I am now starting to think that it is going to be harder and harder for me to do. I have seen other couples in the hallway and already most of my friends have already been in a relationship and for some reason that has made me jealous. I feel like a looser and that I will never eventually find someone to like me. I have had several interest in some girls but most attempts to find one ends up in disaster or it weirded them out. I have managed to get one girl in the past to like me but I found no interest in her since she was mean to me in the past. I am really interested in getting into a relationship but I don't know how. What are some tips that I should do to get a girlfriend?



Radiofixr
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11 Jan 2012, 6:00 pm

I wish you luck and hope you find a person-you are still young but I have never been in a relationship and a bit older and see other people in couples and get depressed-I just keep thinking the same thing that I am a loser and I feel pathetic and I am a later in life diagnosed aspie and I look back at all the experiences I have missed.


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Uprising
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11 Jan 2012, 6:01 pm

Find an aspie girl or become insensitive.



revolver
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11 Jan 2012, 6:33 pm

me, too.

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sacrip
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11 Jan 2012, 8:39 pm

Take it from someone who's 20 years older than you: You are WAY too young to be worrying about this right now. The right relationship will come when it comes. Not having a girlfriend only means the right girl hasn't come along yet. Lot's of as*holes have girlfriends, and lot's of girls are, in fact, as*holes. None of them are better than you. Instead of looking for a girlfriend, be the kind of man a girl wants.


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11 Jan 2012, 9:02 pm

Dude at 18 you don't need a GF. You need DATES. Go on a lot of dates with a lot of different women. Eventually you'll figure it out.



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11 Jan 2012, 9:12 pm

sacrip wrote:
Take it from someone who's 20 years older than you: You are WAY too young to be worrying about this right now. The right relationship will come when it comes. Not having a girlfriend only means the right girl hasn't come along yet. Lot's of as*holes have girlfriends, and lot's of girls are, in fact, as*holes. None of them are better than you. Instead of looking for a girlfriend, be the kind of man a girl wants.


oooh, I LIKE your post. And I'll add (to the OP) this advice will save you time in the long run. better to have three good relationships in the next 20 years as opposed to 30 mediocre ones


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jovialwilliams
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11 Jan 2012, 10:56 pm

I second sacrip's post. Like a good hunter(or do you prefer a different analogy?), prepare and don't waste ammunition on one you can't see yourself growing old with. Bucephalus, isn't that the war horse of Alexander the Great?


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Arzon
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12 Jan 2012, 11:57 am

Recognizable.

Do you also sometimes have the feeling that you're scared to be alone for
your entire live?

I do :(



bucephalus
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12 Jan 2012, 1:37 pm

jovialwilliams wrote:
...Bucephalus, isn't that the war horse of Alexander the Great?
It is!

Arzon wrote:
Recognizable.

Do you also sometimes have the feeling that you're scared to be alone for
your entire live?

I do


Awww. Refer to scarip's post


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bruinsy33
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12 Jan 2012, 7:54 pm

sacrip wrote:
Take it from someone who's 20 years older than you: You are WAY too young to be worrying about this right now. The right relationship will come when it comes. Not having a girlfriend only means the right girl hasn't come along yet. Lot's of as*holes have girlfriends, and lot's of girls are, in fact, as*holes. None of them are better than you. Instead of looking for a girlfriend, be the kind of man a girl wants.
I agree in that the right girl hasn't come along yet.The trick is to move on very quickly from the ones who aren't interested.Don't waste one second on a woman who isn't interested in you.



Civ001
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12 Jan 2012, 8:37 pm

bucephalus wrote:
sacrip wrote:
Take it from someone who's 20 years older than you: You are WAY too young to be worrying about this right now. The right relationship will come when it comes. Not having a girlfriend only means the right girl hasn't come along yet. Lot's of as*holes have girlfriends, and lot's of girls are, in fact, as*holes. None of them are better than you. Instead of looking for a girlfriend, be the kind of man a girl wants.


oooh, I LIKE your post. And I'll add (to the OP) this advice will save you time in the long run. better to have three good relationships in the next 20 years as opposed to 30 mediocre ones

So, how do I know what kind of girl a guy wants? How do I change that? How can I tell what she wants? Every girl is different.



Einfari
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12 Jan 2012, 11:55 pm

revolver wrote:
me, too.

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This is my view on dating. I'm done with worrying about dating and starting to focus on my future/career. I'm guessing at age 18 you are focusing on graduating high school or starting college. I wouldn't make starting a relationship a goal. If you find someone that you're interested in, go for it. If not, don't get too worked up. There are better things to worry about in life than relationships, especially in high school/ early college years.



sacrip
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13 Jan 2012, 1:09 am

The more important question is "What do YOU want?" Did you say "a girl" and stop? If so, it's time to take a step back and examine yourself a bit, because a bad relationship is WORSE than no relationship, because it teaches you the wrong things. Also, girls want to be wanted, not to be needed. Improving yourself is much, much more important than finding a relationship at your age. Girls will come and girls will go, but you have to live with yourself forever. And girls will only like you as much as you like yourself, not more.


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Asp-Z
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13 Jan 2012, 8:31 am

You got a lot of time to find one, I wouldn't worry too much. If you go to uni or work, maybe try talking to some girls there.



bruinsy33
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13 Jan 2012, 11:16 am

sacrip wrote:
The more important question is "What do YOU want?" Did you say "a girl" and stop? If so, it's time to take a step back and examine yourself a bit, because a bad relationship is WORSE than no relationship, because it teaches you the wrong things. Also, girls want to be wanted, not to be needed. Improving yourself is much, much more important than finding a relationship at your age. Girls will come and girls will go, but you have to live with yourself forever. And girls will only like you as much as you like yourself, not more.
Yes,I agree,a bad relationship is actually worse than no relationship, choose wisely!