This kind of sounds like a cliche but...

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AspieHobbit
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21 Jan 2012, 11:20 pm

I have a (NT) male friend who i didn't know very well until around a month ago. We go to boarding school together, and now I consider him one of my best friends. We share many common interests. He gave me a flash drive full of comic book files to read, and always takes time to discuss them almost everyday. We also talk for an hour or more everyday, about other thing. Many of our mutual NT friends believe he has feelings for me. I reciprocate these feelings. How can I a. confirm these suspicions b.encourage him without being clingy and frightening. I have dated a bit before, but never initiated a relationship or even romance-oriented contact. He knows I have AS.



Fnord
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22 Jan 2012, 12:11 am

[opinion]

You could try going to him with a personal problem, telling him all about it, then lean against his chest and say, "Just hold me."

If he does, then you're aces!

If he pushes you away, then maybe he's not interested in you quite that way.

If he seems awkward and nervous, then maybe he needs more time.

If he tries to take advantage of you, and you don't like it, then tell him, "No".

[/opinion]



heatherbk
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22 Jan 2012, 2:47 am

If I were you I would be blunt and ask him in a straightforward manner whether he likes you or not. You don't lose by asking him whether he likes you or not because he's your friend. If he says no, then just say yeah I like you as a friend too. If he says yes, then congratulations! :lol: Just have some courage. If you're really shy to ask him so then just try asking him in an indirect way by throwing some jokes around.



cozysweater
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22 Jan 2012, 3:02 am

It's been my experience that if a guy is going out of his way to spend time with you and share interests with you, he probably likes you as more than just a friend. A friend might not be quite so available or helpful.
It can be dangerous to be too forward though, especially if the guy is shy.. Maybe initiate just a little physical contact, like touch his shoulder or arm. Mirror him a bit. Turn toward him in conversation and try to make decent (but not creepy) eye contact. Smile.
I guess just be encouraging.



AspieHobbit
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22 Jan 2012, 9:37 am

Thank you everyone. Anytime i think about asking him, my stomach turns into a big knot and i feel so nervous I think I'm going to throw up. Would asking a trustworthy mutual friend to find out be an awful idea? She asked me if we liked each other, and I told her I didn't know.



Fnord
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22 Jan 2012, 10:34 am

Asking someone else would be sneaky. It also may result in him becoming interested in her instead.

Screw your courage to the sticking point and ask him!



Ellendra
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22 Jan 2012, 4:18 pm

Ask him if he'd like to see a movie with you. Don't use the word "date". If at some point he finds some way to hold your hand or sneak his arm around your shoulders, you'll have your answer.

He is probably just as nervous and uncertain as you are.



justalouise
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22 Jan 2012, 4:23 pm

You don't have to rush anything. Keep hanging out, because you both seem to enjoy it. The longer you spend time around each other, the more comfortable you'll get. If the two of you have mutual feelings for each other, it will eventually become apparent, in a totally or mostly painless way. Even if your feelings aren't reciprocated, if you work on just being more comfortable and accustomed to each other, it won't seem like the end of the world to learn that this person likes you a lot but doesn't necessarily want to kiss you. Take your time! Like waiting for a loose tooth to come out.