how to tell her to stop talking about her ex

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so the girl that i like is still hung up on her ex. she basically insists that we talk about her ex boyfriend. she says she knows they are just friends, but i can tell she still cares for him deeply. i cant tell her 'dont talk to him anymore' because she really doesnt know me, and she'd choose him over me in an instant. shes let me know before that shes hard to get to know, and its hard for her to trust people, and hard for her to let people into her life.

idk. it really seems like shes making an effort to appease me and give me a shot, but when we talk its 'ex this.. ex that.. this one time he did this.. blah blah'. whenever were not talking about her ex, she runs out of steam, and doesnt carry the conversation at all. i have to constantly keep the conversation going basically alone lol. which is incredibly hard for me because small talk isnt exactly my strong suite. i think this is because she doesnt trust easily, and has a hard time letting me into her life and what not (as stated before), but idk.

and yea, i should probably just stop talking to her all together. i dont want to do that just yet, however. i want to give her a shot because i have a good feeling she would be a good match for me.

shes not always so bad at carrying conversations, but she does run out of steam pretty fast XD. i can tell shes very smart, and im attracted to her, and she has a good sense of humor.

so.. how do i tell her i dont want to talk about her ex boyfriend when she insists that she could talk about this subject for hours and never run out of things to say? i DO like talking to her, but i absolutely cannot stand listening to her talk about her ex.

would saying 'hey, i'd really appreciate it if we could stray away from the subject of your ex' work? what other things could i say instead?

To be honest, she hasn't let go and she isn't ready to have a relationship yet. The fact she is telling you about her ex means she could be viewing your as her emotional support and someone to help her through these feelings. I would say disregard her and find a girl that is ready to invest her thought into you. She isn't ready for a relationship and this can only end up in a negative outcome.

How about by not seeing her unless she changes the topic?

Tell her that she's never going to get over her ex if she can't stop obsessing about him.
Ask her if she wants you to be the place where she can forget about the pain and NOT talk about it.

From my point of view you need to discuss these issues with her.

Find out why she keeps talking about him, ask her clearly if she is ready to invest in someone else.
Maybe she needs your emotional support in helping her get over him.
Maybe she simply doesn't want to get over him, and shes with your for the sake of it.

You have to find out what it is.

If you think she is even slightly worth it, You will try to sort out this problem before calling it quits.

A lot of the replies in here are very boyish. Be a man and try to figure things out maturely and then move on from there.

Cinbad's advise is spot on:

welp, all of you who said stray away were right!

shes back with him again. kinda thought it would work out this time. i really need to listen to my intuition than my heart. my heart is effin stupid, whilst my intuition is usually 100% spot on.

mds_02 and OliveOilMum
Give tronist some support, will ya?
Come here tronist... I know it hurts but next time you will not end up like that as you will find one willing to inheret their time and commitment to you as long as you are prepared to let go of this in your own time. WP will be with you like we are for a lot of our members.

That it does... and I got a thread where quite a few people turned on me when I was trying to help, I just worded it very badly and it was taken the wrong way.