Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Mr. no text back has texted back.

Page 4 of 8 [ 125 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

04 Mar 2012, 4:04 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:06 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


No not really, I am saying if he has a valid reason we can figure out where we want to go from there.


_________________
We won't go back.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Mar 2012, 4:06 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
there is really no way for us to tell you that in a way that you will believe.


Exactly. Which is why, more often than not, ignoring her is the best option.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

04 Mar 2012, 4:06 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


No not really, I am saying if he has a valid reason we can figure out where we want to go from there.

but you're willing to accept almost anything as a valid reason. seems like he'd have to say something extremely cold or insensitive for you to cut him off.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:08 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


No not really, I am saying if he has a valid reason we can figure out where we want to go from there.

but you're willing to accept almost anything as a valid reason. seems like he'd have to say something extremely cold or insensitive for you to cut him off.

I don't know how maybe all that stuff he mentioned that he was having to deal with maybe being more on his mind then a girl he doesn't know much about and has only seen a few times...is necessarily the same thing as saying anything is a valid reason. I am saying that might be an understandable reason depending on what I find out.


_________________
We won't go back.


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

04 Mar 2012, 4:15 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


No not really, I am saying if he has a valid reason we can figure out where we want to go from there.

but you're willing to accept almost anything as a valid reason. seems like he'd have to say something extremely cold or insensitive for you to cut him off.

I don't know how maybe all that stuff he mentioned that he was having to deal with maybe being more on his mind then a girl he doesn't know much about and has only seen a few times...is necessarily the same thing as saying anything is a valid reason. I am saying that might be an understandable reason depending on what I find out.

there is not much we can say to you because you simply don't value yourself as highly as we think you should, so you'll not be able to see why he should have been treating you better. you are willing to put his needs above yours and nothing we can say will change that. even considering the possibility of contacting him again is sending the message that you are willing to be treated badly by him as long as you can hang with him at his leisure.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Mar 2012, 4:22 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
there is not much we can say to you because you simply don't value yourself as highly as we think you should, so you'll not be able to see why he should have been treating you better. you are willing to put his needs above yours and nothing we can say will change that. even considering the possibility of contacting him again is sending the message that you are willing to be treated badly by him as long as you can hang with him at his leisure.


I don't think I'm very well. My medication must be playing up. I'm agreeing with hyperlexian! Nurse! NURSE! 8O 8O 8O

TBH Sweetleaf, you have a self-destructive mentality and anyone else's efforts in trying to combat that only makes you more entrenched in this frame of mind. There's nothing we can do.



Last edited by Tequila on 04 Mar 2012, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:23 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what if he just says, "i was busy dealing with stuff"?


Then I guess I would say, same here...but if he really wants to know how I'm doing and seems intrested I'll probably have more to say

it sounds like you're pretty much willing to forgive him no matter what.


No not really, I am saying if he has a valid reason we can figure out where we want to go from there.

but you're willing to accept almost anything as a valid reason. seems like he'd have to say something extremely cold or insensitive for you to cut him off.

I don't know how maybe all that stuff he mentioned that he was having to deal with maybe being more on his mind then a girl he doesn't know much about and has only seen a few times...is necessarily the same thing as saying anything is a valid reason. I am saying that might be an understandable reason depending on what I find out.

there is not much we can say to you because you simply don't value yourself as highly as we think you should, so you'll not be able to see why he should have been treating you better. you are willing to put his needs above yours and nothing we can say will change that. even considering the possibility of contacting him again is sending the message that you are willing to be treated badly by him as long as you can hang with him at his leisure.


What makes anyone think I can even afford taking the bus to go hang out with him at his leisure......if he really wants to see me again the best I can do is meet him half way and have him pay most of my way, or if he wants to drive out to where I live and see me. If that's what he's about I can grantee he wont be trying to pursue me for long.


_________________
We won't go back.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:26 pm

Tequila wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
there is not much we can say to you because you simply don't value yourself as highly as we think you should, so you'll not be able to see why he should have been treating you better. you are willing to put his needs above yours and nothing we can say will change that. even considering the possibility of contacting him again is sending the message that you are willing to be treated badly by him as long as you can hang with him at his leisure.


I don't think I'm very well. My medication must be playing up. I'm agreeing with hyperlexian! Nurse! NURSE! 8O 8O 8O

TBH Sweetleaf, you have a self-destructive mentality and anyone else's efforts in trying to combat that only makes you more entrenched in this frame of mind. There's nothing we can do.


All I am saying is maybe this guy wasn't using me and had a valid reason for not getting back to me until now....I don't understand why that would be impossible.


_________________
We won't go back.


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Mar 2012, 4:29 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
All I am saying is maybe this guy wasn't using me and had a valid reason for not getting back to me until now....I don't understand why that would be impossible.


Listen, there are many, many other guys out there and many of them will treat you better and give you equal respect. The message that you're sending him is that he is more important than you are. That isn't a good sign.

Honestly, your relentlessly depressive personality is what is leading you to these men. But what do I know?



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:30 pm

Tequila wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
All I am saying is maybe this guy wasn't using me and had a valid reason for not getting back to me until now....I don't understand why that would be impossible.


Listen, there are many, many other guys out there and many of them will treat you better and give you equal respect. The message that you're sending him is that he is more important than you are. That isn't a good sign.

Honestly, your relentlessly depressive personality is what is leading you to these men. But what do I know?


At the moment I don't even know why the hell he did not text me back, I would like to at least see what he says before jumping to any conclusions if that's ok with everyone.......sheesh.


_________________
We won't go back.


conundrum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,922
Location: third rock from one of many suns

04 Mar 2012, 4:32 pm

Sweetleaf: I'm sending you a PM.


_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17


Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Mar 2012, 4:32 pm

Tell you what, I'll duck out of this thread. I hope things go as well as you hope, Sweetleaf.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

04 Mar 2012, 4:32 pm

Tequila wrote:
Tell you what, I'll duck out of this thread. I hope things go as well as you hope, Sweetleaf.


I really doubt that considering the kind of things you have said about me in the past.


_________________
We won't go back.


mv
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

04 Mar 2012, 4:39 pm

Sweetleaf, I agree with the sage naysayers here. The first thing I did when I read your original post is to look at the timestamp. He texted you on the cusp of Saturday night. What does that tell you? Anything?

I used to be you, a very long time ago. I'm glad those days are gone. Guess what? Every time a guy acted like this guy is acting with you, he was lying. *Every* *single* *time*. It actually gets easier to detect, over time, and now I just laugh when dudes try this s**t with me. It's "cute" in their 20s, it's absolutely pitiful in their 40s.

As an aside, I recently had a guy my age (mid 40s) tell me he just had a really intense dream about me. A guy I don't know very well at all. I just laughed and said, "Geez, I haven't heard that one since high school!" He was mortified that he was that transparent and got all flustered and defensive. If it had been true, he would just have been confused or would have walked away thinking, "huh, I guess our karmas *aren't* really intertwined".

Do you see what I'm getting at, here? We really are trying to help you, from our experience (either personal or observing).



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

04 Mar 2012, 4:42 pm

mv wrote:
Sweetleaf, I agree with the sage naysayers here. The first thing I did when I read your original post is to look at the timestamp. He texted you on the cusp of Saturday night. What does that tell you? Anything?

I used to be you, a very long time ago. I'm glad those days are gone. Guess what? Every time a guy acted like this guy is acting with you, he was lying. *Every* *single* *time*. It actually gets easier to detect, over time, and now I just laugh when dudes try this sh** with me. It's "cute" in their 20s, it's absolutely pitiful in their 40s.

As an aside, I recently had a guy my age (mid 40s) tell me he just had a really intense dream about me. A guy I don't know very well at all. I just laughed and said, "Geez, I haven't heard that one since high school!" He was mortified that he was that transparent and got all flustered and defensive. If it had been true, he would just have been confused or would have walked away thinking, "huh, I guess our karmas *aren't* really intertwined".

Do you see what I'm getting at, here? We really are trying to help you, from our experience (either personal or observing).


But this guy is "different". He's probably "misunderstood", that's all.