I crush too much

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I say this a lot, but it's really true.

I am not in a good place to date anybody, I really have to work on me. I have no plans on getting in a relationship any time soon. But it seems like I am ALWAYS developing crushes on people, most of whom I know I'm not even really compatible with. I wish I didn't have to deal with these kind of random people obsessions, it would make my life a lot easier. Given time, they usually go away on their own, but a new one always pops up in its place, and I have to deal with the whole thing all over again! Also, I am a huge flirt, and don't seem to have a hard time getting guys' attention, which usually leads to me taking things a bit further than I wanted to. I just get carried away, not sure why, maybe just human nature or whatever. Still, I wish there was an easier way to fight it.

I don't crush too often (very few people in my lifetime), but my crushes were always crashing and lengthy.

I get this too - I must have had a crush on someone for the last 4 of 5 years at least. I have no way of dealing with it yet. Next time I'll nip it in the bud as early as possible, see if that helps.

Finding someone you can trust and committing to a monogamous relationship helps this, but... find someone you can trust...

It's not them that's untrustworthy, it's ME.

I don't know if this has just been my own mind's mechanism for opting out of crushes or if its sincerely the root cause that I've hit but I found that when I was crushing a lot I saw traits in people that I admired that I wished to have myself, and part of my resolution was either working to instill those traits in myself or, when that couldn't be done, finding out why I could make those things manifest from my side. In my mid 20's people found it absurd even that I had so many people who I indicated that I could learn something from, for me it was because I'd been horridly overmedicated from age 11 to 19, either lost those years or moved at half or one-third mast, and because of that I was still kind of filling a developmental gap of sorts.

Don't know if your scenario is anything similar in mechanics but I figure the more you untangle your own mysteries the less of a problem you have. The only word of caution - be a bit careful what you wish for; too much crushing does suck, on the other hand when you can go years without being touched or moved by another person's integrity or character it does leave life feeling a bit hollow.

This may help you next time you "crush".



Seriously though, it does suck when you constantly get it though.

So, the guy I'm currently (for whatever reason) crushing on told me that his mom is going out of town for a bit starting this Thursday, so he'll have the house and car to himself. Asked if I wanted to come hang out there for a few days.

Your crush wasn't too subtle to him, I assume.

Go, but keep in mind that he may want to exploit your crush toward him sexually.

Had the same problem some years ago when still at school. Started to tell myself everyday that there would be no way I could ever be with that other person, and some day, it just went away. Now I rarely have that anymore.

As long as he doesn't ask me out it's all good with me.....

Lead on! We'll have high-fives awaiting your return.

Well... you could try being less adorable

So I ended up staying over for a week... I had a good time, it actually went better than I thought it would...

But now he's started posting stuff on Facebook like this:

I kind of feel bad now, even though he didn't say it was about me, I'm assuming it was, or at least, that I fall into this category.

I actually really like him, and probably would have dated him under different circumstances, but a) we're both moving across the country soon, and b) I am just not ready for a boyfriend right now.

Is there something I can say to that without making assumptions or making myself sound stupid?