Spousal anger

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My wife has low grade depression which often expresses itself as anger, criticism, overreacting, and anxiety. I have a hard time reading her as it is but when it gets bad I feel like I am in an experiment where electric shocks are randomly administered and am trying to be less sensitive to it, as opposed to just spending more time at work.

And let me guess, you are always saying or doing the wrong thing. Even though yesterday what you said or did was the right thing.

My wife is the same way much of the time. When the storm passes she apologizes for being angry.

Just be patient and as understanding as you can be. tell her you love her. Try not to get angry. Remember she loves you. She just needs to love herself as well. Tell her how wonderful she is. How she makes your life better just for being in it. Stress her good qualities and ignore the bad ones. Rinse and repeat until she feels better. Do the chores she keeps complaining about and some she has stop mentioning or hasn't noticed yet.

Spend time with her doing things she likes.

That sounds a lot like my wife, too... but I've always thought it was her bipolar disorder causing it. Maybe not?

cainarc, i am impressed with your understanding of depression being expressed as other emotions. have you tried couples therapy? sometimes it can help with situations like that, because it sounds like she is not being fair to you. you don't deserve to feel like that all the time. it isn't right that you would be practically emotionally shellshocked from her depression.

also, thread moved from General Autism Discussion to Love & Dating

(Hugs) I know this is probably stupid but could this also be the effects of menopause? Or maybe a combination with bipolar? Just a thought.