What percentage of Aspie women get married?

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Hi guys

Just wondering whether or not it is rare for women on the spectrum to get married, or how rare?

It depends how Aspie woman in general think about marriage and commitment.

I know that most men doesn't usually like the idea these days...mostly due to price but I can see Aspies not wanting the attention.

That is what I actually wonder myself. From what I pick up here on the forums, the aspie women generally dont have much trouble getting into relationships but they commonly get into bad relationships due to poor abilities to read social cues. I would also guess plenty of bad marriages happen to. Course there's likely a small yet significant chunk of aspie females that chose to be asexual(temple grandin being 1 of them). It really depends, I wonder for myself what is the likelihood I will be married. But then I remember I'd much rather be single then be in the wrong relationship or have a bad marriage. For me its not terribly hard to attract (any) guy whos desperate enough.

Hi CrazyStarlightRedux

Thanks for replying. I think you are right. I saw a post earlier and someone said it is rare Aspies get married. I have also noticed I get the odd funny look if I mention I have a boyfriend. I think other people believe we don't date or can't or whatever.

I love having a boyfriend. I found someone I am compatible with. With anyone else I think I would find it difficult to sustain a relationship.

Hi Ai Ling

I think you hit the nail on the head "aspie women generally dont have much trouble getting into relationships but they commonly get into bad relationships due to poor abilities to read social cues". Before I met my bf I was seeing someone and it ended badly. It took me a long time to mentally recover and I thought never again, not if a person can make you feel this low. I managed to find someone who understands me and treats me with respect and is a real keeper. He is excellent at reading people and even can tell if ive turned over onto my cheek if I am speaking to him on the phone!

You can start a poll.

Besides, to many here, living with a bf in a long term relationship ~= marriage.

So I'd suggest to use long-term relationship instead of marriage in the poll.

happily X3 yrs. married aspie here. did have an abusive engagement a while back. dated tons after that to find the right one.

I absolutely love the idea of doing a poll!

Congratulations cathylynn glad it worked out in the end!

I don't think marriage is uncommon. I think under-diagnosis of older people, especially when/because they're in a long term relationship, on the other hand, is pretty common.

Very good point justalouise

Could it be that a large portion of girlfriends that end up in relationship with "domestic violence" relationships are female aspies?

I have been married. It didn't end well.

I currently have a boyfriend and I freak out a lot wondering about abuse and stuff from past experiences. So far he is great. He has some less then desirable traits that come from him being Aspie too but I just have to sccept him how he is. So far no abuse.

I think that sex and relationship education does many a great disservice, but particularly leaves females with Aspergers vulnerable as they lack social skills. Leaving out the entire issue of sexual consent, does noone any favours and telling girls to "just say no" is not a strategy they can implement.

I suspect there are many many married women out there who have Aspergers and don't know. But, I also think it is more likely for a woman with Aspergers to end up as a spinster than it is for an NT. My aunt is one of those (87, so no diagnosis of AS, diagnosis of bipolar). I'm one of the suspects too and I've been happily married for 17 years. I feel I was really lucky to meet my husband when I did. Had I not met him at 16, I don't know what life would have been like for me. I've never had to do the dating thing and I'm glad about that. I had one boyfriend before him and it lasted 6 weeks. I've seldom ever been hit on by a guy in all my 39 years (not that I'm looking to be chatted up, but the opportunities have been there and I'm not ugly).

I've had an abusive marriage and a longish-term not-so-good relationship many years before that. I got married late for NTs (at age 35) and I was divorced before I was 40. I'm 44 now and I'm still trying to recover from my marriage.

I have no idea how to get into a relationship other than by luck. I doubt I will ever marry again, I *really* did not like that "couple-y" feeling, no matter how much it was validated by "society". I think a long-term, independent (separate residences) relationship would likely suit me best. But I'm not exactly holding my breath.

I am engaged, and hope to tie the knot in September of this year. I was in a committed relationship before, about twenty three years ago, and it was a disaster with abusive overtones. My current relationship has some growing pains, but otherwise is going great!