Just an observation...

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(note to the mods: if this inital post in and of itself break TOS, go right ahead and lock it/delete it)

With all of the debates I see on this part of WP, I see quite a few pieces of advice being repeated multiple times, with some users saying it never works. It just makes me wonder...if none of the advice given by some of the members is considered helpful, what is/what will be? Maybe the advice isn't getting through because of the differences in personal life scenarios. Perhaps there's something, explainable or not, that leads to advice being followed through or not. Maybe there could be a separate thread that could be stickied for those who want to vent about it a bit (similar to The Haven?). I don't know, I'm just speculating. All I'm sure of is that the forum should be able to help almost everyone who wants advice here, and if what you see/hear isn't good, there should be a way that the other users can help you out if needed.

Yes. Frequently if you say you want to know places to meet people, you will be told to take classes, volunteer, join organizations, etc. That is why I had made a post the other day asking what those of us who didn't live in urban or suburban areas and had no way to follow that advice should do. I was basically told what I'm always told, learn to drive.

Yes it would solve the problem, I suppose, but it wasn't really helpful as I already know that if I learned to drive it would allow me to go elsewhere. It's the same sort of suggestion as saying "Well move", or "Get a long distance relationship and then move to where they are".. These solutions work, but they cost lots of money to make work, and they require huge amounts of risk.

They are valid suggestions, but I can't implement them, so it leads to my problems persisting and people continually issuing the same advice to me over and over. Sometimes I just want to vent about my problems and not be given the same advice I get from people in real life.

It's responses like these that say to me "I want to help you, but don't know how ". I remember that thread really well, and even from the response in this thread, I can tell you certainly don't want to stay in the scenario you're currently in. Again, I want to help and give you advice, but don't know how

It's not that people don't feel for you in your situation and I can appreciate sometimes advice is coming in the form of cliches, but they're cliches for a reason. No-one can really help you, the options are there, but maybe those are not an option to you.
You've hit a brick wall as it were.

That is exactly it. It requires massive structural change in order to fix the problem.

It requires, if you will forgive the hilarity of the following sentence, the Reagen of Reason telling the Gorbachev of Instincts to tear down that wall of fear, so that you can be free to fix the problems which beset you.

In my mind however, my instincts aren't a reasonable chap like Gorbachev, but more like a devoted hardliner who would rather take the whole world down with him in a holocaust of nuclear hellfire rather than be dictated to by a pompous oaf who I can poke holes in all of his so called 'rationale' because I've built up my own wall of cynicism to protect myself.

Attempts at taking risks and circumventing the wall are far more likely to lead to deep abscesses of depression, and vicious cycles of meltdowns than to actual success in fixing the problem.

If someone says, "That doesn't work," then either they are being closed minded are taking a defensive stand, or they are honestly saying that doesn't work for them for whatever reason, and are looking for an alternative suggestion since they have rejected the advice given - or some combination of columns A and B.

Advice for Person A doesn't always work out as advice for Person B.

If people are debating and/or arguing, then that means they are debating and/or arguing opinions and points of view. That's a completely separate issue from whether or not the advice being given is good advice for Person A or Person B. Unfortunately, a lot of people will give advice and then start arguing over their opinions regarding said advice, rather than discussing the pros and cons of the advice. Arguing and debating usually goes in circles and provides no net results. Discussing usually leads somewhere. Getting people to stop being so emotionally attached to their opinions is very difficult indeed.

That is why I don't really like asking for advice online any more. What usually happens is people give me advice that I'm unwilling or unable to follow and then they get mad at me for not following it. I actually left a forum over this when people were really mean and condescending to me after asking for advice on whether it was safe to plug my laptop into an ungrounded two prong outlet. People actually were expecting me to rewire/replace my own electrical outlets when I have no idea what I'm doing and have a phobia about outlets, plus it was my landlord's responsibility. Also they didn't know this but my father died of electrocution.

I've asked for advice on here before and at least once or twice someone brought up an idea that I hadn't thought of yet but sometimes the advice given is stuff I can't do. I still never managed to figure out how to get an id when I don't have enough points.

Free advice is worth the price you paid for it.

I'm often given advice that isn't helpful or is actually detrimental in practice but there is the law of averages. Eventually if you get enough unique pieces of advice, one should hit.

Won't matter. A third prong is only useful if it's connected to a ground wire going back to the panel (which in turn is grounded to the earth). If a surge hits, the strip will try to dump the power into the ground, but it won't be connected to anything so it'll try to find another path back to the earth. (Remember, electricity always wants to go to the earth)

I recommend this device: http://www.amazon.com/TRC-90265-6-012-S ... B000XU5MEG

It works differently. Instead of sending a power surge to the earth, it breaks the flow of current like a circuit breaker.

I love electricity; it's very predictable.

Sometimes there is just no other advice to give. Sometimes, if a person is unable or unwilling to take the advice, the only thing left for the advice giver to say is "Well, you're f****d then." But people here tend to be either too hopeful, or too tactful, to actually say that.

And some people seem genuinely unwilling to do anything to improve their situation. They'll then cover for that by claiming that, rather than wanting advice, they really just wanted a place to vent, not realizing that their version of venting comes across as extremely insulting toward large groups of people here.

Last edited by mds_02 on 03 Jun 2012, 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well I imagine it is impossible to ask for advice on a forum full of people...and not get any advice you've already tried that didn't work or things that you aren't capable of.

One bit that does get irritating for me is 'distract yourself.' could someone distract themself if they felt as though they were in danger? That is how I feel a lot with the anxiety and PTSD so yeah I don't necessarily have the option to just focus on something else since I am being bombarded by feelings of impending doom and the physical reactions, which are really freaking annoying if I am trying to do something. But hey I shouldn't expect everyone to know that won't work for me....so I do try not to get too frustrated about advice I don't feel is necessarily good for me