How emotionally attractive are you?

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rabbittss
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04 Jun 2012, 10:27 am

I really don't know.

People, especially females, come to me with their problems. Boyfriend troubles, car troubles, money troubles, boredom, etc. So I'm obviously an attractive dumping place, or sounding board for other people's emotional problems. Yet none of my friends ever want to be around when I have any sort of emotional troubles at all. I tend to become despondent, and I imagine that's not very attractive.



smudge
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04 Jun 2012, 10:34 am

====



Last edited by smudge on 08 Jun 2012, 7:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

edgewaters
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04 Jun 2012, 5:16 pm

mv wrote:
Sometimes I can be a little inappropriate with my humor, but it's a coping thing. Humor is really important to me.


:thumright:

If it's inappropriate sometimes, well, it's the thought that counts, right? :) That's what I think anyway. I have a hard time with people who take themselves too seriously.



mds_02
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04 Jun 2012, 5:23 pm

mv wrote:
edgewaters wrote:
mv wrote:
I hide a lot of my anxiety through humor.


That's a good thing though. I think. Not the anxiety but handling it.


Thank you, that's really wonderful to hear! Sometimes I can be a little inappropriate with my humor, but it's a coping thing. Humor is really important to me.


I'm much the same way. Not that my humor is recognized as such by most.


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rabbittss
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04 Jun 2012, 5:25 pm

smudge wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I really don't know.

People, especially females, come to me with their problems. Boyfriend troubles, car troubles, money troubles, boredom, etc. So I'm obviously an attractive dumping place, or sounding board for other people's emotional problems. Yet none of my friends ever want to be around when I have any sort of emotional troubles at all. I tend to become despondent, and I imagine that's not very attractive.


That's just a people thing. People are only interested in themselves, and if they can find anyone who will listen, they'll pour their troubles onto you, but won't reciprocate if you do the same. Don't take it personally.


Hard not to when it seems to be the only interaction I have with my so called friends..



IlovemyAspie
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04 Jun 2012, 5:31 pm

rabbittss wrote:
smudge wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I really don't know.

People, especially females, come to me with their problems. Boyfriend troubles, car troubles, money troubles, boredom, etc. So I'm obviously an attractive dumping place, or sounding board for other people's emotional problems. Yet none of my friends ever want to be around when I have any sort of emotional troubles at all. I tend to become despondent, and I imagine that's not very attractive.


That's just a people thing. People are only interested in themselves, and if they can find anyone who will listen, they'll pour their troubles onto you, but won't reciprocate if you do the same. Don't take it personally.


Hard not to when it seems to be the only interaction I have with my so called friends..


I would have to say something about it. I'd be like look, why is it that when everyone needs me I'm here but when I need someone no one is there for me? Sometimes people are so absorbed in their own needs, wants and troubles that they forget thier friends have needs, wants and troubles of their own. Sometimes a reminder is needed for them to realize they are neglecting their friends. If they are really your friends they'll feel bad, take the reminder and make sure they are there the next time you need them.



AScomposer13413
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04 Jun 2012, 5:34 pm

What does it take to be emotionally attractive???



rabbittss
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04 Jun 2012, 6:00 pm

IlovemyAspie wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
smudge wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I really don't know.

People, especially females, come to me with their problems. Boyfriend troubles, car troubles, money troubles, boredom, etc. So I'm obviously an attractive dumping place, or sounding board for other people's emotional problems. Yet none of my friends ever want to be around when I have any sort of emotional troubles at all. I tend to become despondent, and I imagine that's not very attractive.


That's just a people thing. People are only interested in themselves, and if they can find anyone who will listen, they'll pour their troubles onto you, but won't reciprocate if you do the same. Don't take it personally.


Hard not to when it seems to be the only interaction I have with my so called friends..


I would have to say something about it. I'd be like look, why is it that when everyone needs me I'm here but when I need someone no one is there for me? Sometimes people are so absorbed in their own needs, wants and troubles that they forget thier friends have needs, wants and troubles of their own. Sometimes a reminder is needed for them to realize they are neglecting their friends. If they are really your friends they'll feel bad, take the reminder and make sure they are there the next time you need them.


Typically, I've found this doesn't do any good, it just makes me look petulant and tends to alienate people from me. Sometimes it works, but not always, especially when dealing with women.

The guys will generally not come to me so much with problems, or if they do they really only expect simple answers or the offer to go have a drink with them so they can blow off some steam.. the women seem to actually expect me to fix the problems.. even though they never seem to like my suggestions..

"Dump him, buy a new car, keep a budget, get a hobby apart from drugs/drink/sex"..



ArtemisHolmes
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04 Jun 2012, 7:52 pm

For actual long term relationships? Depending on the person in question, anywhere from a 2 to a 9.9. I'd say the average would be about 8.5 or so though, it really does depend on the girl.

I mean, when I make a huge mistake and a girl honestly thinks I've done everything right because I successfully fixed my mistake despite how it should hurt her, I think I'm pretty capable. I 'dunno.


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DanRaccoon
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04 Jun 2012, 8:07 pm

smudge wrote:
DanRaccoon wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
Depends on the culture, on whether the girl wants a relationship or just wants casual sex etc.


There's a third thing women want :p

Smudge wrote:
Doo doo doo, do do do, doo doo doo, do do do...I can't get that out of my head everytime I see you post! If you have no idea what I'm talking about...I mean that exercise video edit you did.

As for me on the scale, I have no idea. I think sometimes I come across as too much, and yet at other times...nope, can't figure it out. Would someone rate me?


That was when I had a shred of a personality left.


How do you mean?


when I had this desire to reach out to people in my own unique way and had the desire to amuse. Now I just don't f*****g care.


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HD3H
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04 Jun 2012, 11:22 pm

After years of working with my behavior, ability to read people and understanding myself.
I would probably say somewhere between 9-10, but it all boils down to self esteem anyways ;)


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05 Jun 2012, 1:11 am

I agree, it is a matter of self esteem and a thread like this is just another reason for some people to be self defeatist or negative about themselves. It's simply to do with your outlook and attitude, getting a diagnosis and finding self understanding and awareness to work on self improvement is an achievement in itself.

AScomposer13413 wrote:
What does it take to be emotionally attractive???


I think balancing assertiveness and a healthy self esteem count as attractive, as well as being kind and patient towards yourself and others. Negativity can be unattractive to certain people but they don't make someone unattractive in my opinion, it takes a lot of courage for someone to accept that they have something like depression and that can be attractive.



echinopsis
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07 Jun 2012, 5:49 pm

i am an extremely emotional person but i have a remarkable control over my feelings so they almost never become apparent to anyone but me. most of the time they are so intense that i simply have to ignore them entirely because they would confuse and hurt me too much and i dislike not being able to think straight.

i feel pain when other people hurt, i cant stand seeing anyone upset no matter if i like them or not and im very loving and caring although i can not express it well. other peoples moods do not affect mine at all, when im happy im happy, when im sad im sad and when i dont feel anything i dont feel anything.

i never feel anger and the last time i was scared of anything was about a decade ago. im very melancholic about time and things like that which other people usually fail to get the tragic of.

i have no idea how attractive those attributes would be to another person so i can not assign a number. i like my emotional disposition, but as for its appeal to other people my guess would be 0.



JanuaryMan
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07 Jun 2012, 5:52 pm

mv wrote:
edgewaters wrote:
mv wrote:
I hide a lot of my anxiety through humor.


That's a good thing though. I think. Not the anxiety but handling it.


Thank you, that's really wonderful to hear! Sometimes I can be a little inappropriate with my humor, but it's a coping thing. Humor is really important to me.


Likewise, it's a good coping mechanism I rarely worry now :)



MXH
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07 Jun 2012, 6:02 pm

same here. its the only way i dont go mute when with people



Dent
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08 Jun 2012, 7:20 pm

If I'm drinking regularly, I'm extremely stable and have a good sense of humor.
If not, I'm an emotional train wreck.