Ways of dealing with/improving relationsips

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Does anyone here have any specific ways or systems for improving relationships (most likely NT/AS ones, but any other).

One NT in some post mentioned that she wrote down all the nice things that her AS boyfriend had said/done so that she didn't need to keep doubting his intentions and asking for reassurance- I have found this very useful and started doing so myself.

I came up with the idea of a stress-rating system for when one person wants to discuss something, and another person doesn't, and both parties rate the level of stress it would cause them if the conversation was to be continued/discontinued so that the relative importance of having/not having the conversation could be quantified and judged fairly.

Any helpful tips would be appreciated

It always helps for the Neurotypical partner to purchase books on Asperger's and relationships. There are a lot of useful books that have helped me in my Aspie/NT relationship and I think the best thing I did was read about it, because now things are so much better between me and my boyfriend. We've been having less misunderstandings and more time to connect with eachother instead of us spending that time misunderstanding and getting upset with eachother, then him shutting down and that taking even more time to solve. Also, it helps if you get to know some Aspies and ask them questions on certain things. There are many Aspies on here who are helpful and can describe how they feel during certain situations such as withdrawals, meltdowns and shutdowns and are generally quite knowledgable on how it affects them, although Aspies are different you can gain a bit of an indication on what your Aspie might be thinking or feeling during a certain situation and empathise with him. If your partner is also good with explaining that kind of thing, it'd also be a good idea to be open with him about it and ask him. All of these things alone helped me understand my boyfriend's behaviour and why he has to have his space at times. Also, I like the strategy you mentioned; writing down things that make you feel loved. That's an excellent way to appreciate the things your significant other does for you. Sometimes Aspies show love in ways that NT's don't know of or just tend not to notice as much, so it's good to appreciate everything your partner does for you in order to feel loved.

If you need any advice on books, you can always let me know on here or private message me. I'll be happy to help