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smudge
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10 Jul 2012, 6:22 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
I'm not an "aspie female" and I think it's hilarious how most answers in this thread come from males :lmao: I've been reading the forum on and off for a while and I come to this section every time I need a good laugh.

Where are you ladies? Aren't you getting tired to be told what you want by "us"?


I'm a lady! What I want is different from what most ladies supposedly want anyway *shrugs*. I completely agree with Shau.



DogsWithoutHorses
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10 Jul 2012, 6:56 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
I'm not an "aspie female" and I think it's hilarious how most answers in this thread come from males :lmao: I've been reading the forum on and off for a while and I come to this section every time I need a good laugh.

Where are you ladies? Aren't you getting tired to be told what you want by "us"?


uh yeah, pretty darn tired, but speaking up about that, or any gender issue, usually derails threads in a huge way and involves being deemed a "militant feminist", being asked what drugs you are taking, and general unpleasantness.

Excellent point about ev. psych Shau.
& Hyperlexian cleared up the birth control issue...considering being told birth control is only used to slut it up is particularly irritating to me given that it's a misconception that's used to attempt to obstruct my access to health care...I really appreciate seeing it corrected


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HisDivineMajesty
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10 Jul 2012, 7:00 am

smudge wrote:
I'm a lady! What I want is different from what most ladies supposedly want anyway *shrugs*. I completely agree with Shau.


What you *say* you want. Just as nearly all women said they cared about something different in that set of research where it turned out they usually all cared about status a lot more than about anything they had indicated on their lists. Like men, who had given personality far too much weight and physical attraction far too little.



Who_Am_I
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10 Jul 2012, 8:09 am

Amazing the number of people here who know everything about what women want, but who'd probably not be able to sustain a basic conversation with one.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


aSKperger
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10 Jul 2012, 8:24 am

Who_Am_I - I know what they want, I know when they want it, I am just bored by it. I have killed my libido so there is no urge to sustain basic, boring, small talk conversation with women :oops:

Still even women in my environment agree with this:

[img]moderator%20advisory:%20KEEP%20THE%20SEXIST%20JOKES%20OUT%20OF%20THE%20THREAD[/img]



Last edited by aSKperger on 10 Jul 2012, 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

DogsWithoutHorses
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10 Jul 2012, 8:26 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Amazing the number of people here who know everything about what women want, but who'd probably not be able to sustain a basic conversation with one.


basic conversation is just what wimmens say they wants

it's really all about hunting the mammoth you know


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Who_Am_I
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10 Jul 2012, 8:28 am

I need a man to hunt mammoth for me because I'm too weak and feeble-minded to figure out about supermarkets.


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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


hyperlexian
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10 Jul 2012, 10:11 am

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
smudge wrote:
I'm a lady! What I want is different from what most ladies supposedly want anyway *shrugs*. I completely agree with Shau.


What you *say* you want. Just as nearly all women said they cared about something different in that set of research where it turned out they usually all cared about status a lot more than about anything they had indicated on their lists. Like men, who had given personality far too much weight and physical attraction far too little.

personality is integral to beauty, and status isn't a personality trait that can be studied as a discrete aspect of a human being. attraction is multi-faceted, and the people are not packages of separate traits.


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HisDivineMajesty
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10 Jul 2012, 10:42 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Amazing the number of people here who know everything about what women want, but who'd probably not be able to sustain a basic conversation with one.


A diagnosis isn't a cure. I can state that women prefer men with muscles, status and more social behaviour - as shown in actual research, which also showed that women's lists of things they liked were, in practical terms, mostly and easily abandoned in favour of just status; that does not mean I have muscles, status and social behaviour. The only women remotely friendly to me are women whose job description involved being friendly - and usually only after I've paid. The receptionist here is friendly, but she's paid good money for that.

hyperlexian wrote:
personality is integral to beauty, and status isn't a personality trait that can be studied as a discrete aspect of a human being. attraction is multi-faceted, and the people are not packages of separate traits.


"Personality is integral to beauty" is great, but only if you've attracted people to begin with. If you look good as a woman, you'll attract more men who might want to stick around due to your personality. If you're a man with status, avid social skills and preferably a lot of muscles, you'll attract women who might want to stick around due to your personality. I'd be buried in women if they didn't all clearly reject me from the very beginning based solely on the way I appear, the way I walk, and the way I talk. My personality is great, but it's all about early impressions, and I'm utterly incapable of not appearing like a skinny guy several years younger than I actually am.



smudge
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10 Jul 2012, 10:47 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Amazing the number of people here who know everything about what women want, but who'd probably not be able to sustain a basic conversation with one.


That's what I think, although I didn't respond because I don't think these people will be convinced.



BenderRodriguez
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10 Jul 2012, 11:59 am

smudge wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
I'm not an "aspie female" and I think it's hilarious how most answers in this thread come from males :lmao: I've been reading the forum on and off for a while and I come to this section every time I need a good laugh.

Where are you ladies? Aren't you getting tired to be told what you want by "us"?


I'm a lady! What I want is different from what most ladies supposedly want anyway *shrugs*. I completely agree with Shau.


I get it but this thread is specifically about aspies, right? So of course you might not want what "most ladies" want, it's to be expected that your different wiring will make a difference.

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
uh yeah, pretty darn tired, but speaking up about that, or any gender issue, usually derails threads in a huge way and involves being deemed a "militant feminist", being asked what drugs you are taking, and general unpleasantness.


It really looked very strange to me to see so few women posting in this thread and found it hilarious to see several young men basically saying "you don't know what you really want or won't admit it so let me tell you" - I see how being beaten over the head with stuff like that all the time can wear you out and not see it as funny any more.

Might be the generational gap - the way young aspies talk about relationships here has nothing to do with my own experience, I wonder if this is the majority speaking or just a loud(er) minority.



mv
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10 Jul 2012, 12:04 pm

BenderRodriguez, I'm 44, and I've largely given up trying to contribute in this forum because of this issue. I have a lot more experience than many of these so-called experts, *and* I'm a woman, too. Go figure. This means that I've had women friends, women compatriots, women co-students, women relatives, etc.

I do see a huge generational gap on Wrong Planet, and not just in this forum.



hyperlexian
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10 Jul 2012, 12:05 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
personality is integral to beauty, and status isn't a personality trait that can be studied as a discrete aspect of a human being. attraction is multi-faceted, and the people are not packages of separate traits.


"Personality is integral to beauty" is great, but only if you've attracted people to begin with. If you look good as a woman, you'll attract more men who might want to stick around due to your personality. If you're a man with status, avid social skills and preferably a lot of muscles, you'll attract women who might want to stick around due to your personality. I'd be buried in women if they didn't all clearly reject me from the very beginning based solely on the way I appear, the way I walk, and the way I talk. My personality is great, but it's all about early impressions, and I'm utterly incapable of not appearing like a skinny guy several years younger than I actually am.

no, attraction actually shifts with familiarity of a person. this study, which i posted elsewhere, examines the fact that a person's personality actually affects how good looking he or she appears to us.
Quote:
The effect of nonphysical traits on the perception of physical attractiveness

Again, a description of two group members will help to make the results of this study more vivid and intuitive. One was a woman whose physical attractiveness was rated as roughly average during the first day of class but who proved to be lazy and uncooperative, according to the instructors and as observed directly by KMK. Not only was she disliked by her classmates, but her physical attractiveness rating declined from a mean of 5.07 to a mean of 4.14 by the end of the study. Another was a woman whose physical attractiveness was rated as below average during the first day of class but who became a popular and hardworking member of the group. Not only was she well liked, but her physical attractiveness rating increased from a mean of 3.25 to a mean of 7.00 by the end of the study.


if a person does not have a great appearance AND they do not have a nice personality at all, then you are correct - their chances would be slim with pretty much everybody.


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10 Jul 2012, 12:12 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Amazing the number of people here who know everything about what women want, but who'd probably not be able to sustain a basic conversation with one.


A diagnosis isn't a cure. I can state that women prefer men with muscles, status and more social behaviour - as shown in actual research, which also showed that women's lists of things they liked were, in practical terms, mostly and easily abandoned in favour of just status; that does not mean I have muscles, status and social behaviour. The only women remotely friendly to me are women whose job description involved being friendly - and usually only after I've paid. The receptionist here is friendly, but she's paid good money for that.
luckily that part is easily obtainable


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hyperlexian
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10 Jul 2012, 1:03 pm

i think there tends to be a large dose of misattribution in evaluating the reasons for rejection. when some individuals have a lack of success in dating, they seem to compare themselves against successful individuals and look for the attributes that the successful people hold (which they themselves seem to lack).

if women preferred men with muscles, then chubbier or less fit men would tend to be single. but that really isn't the case, so it is evidently not so simple. muscular men tend to have more sex partners and casual sex, but that doesn't mean anything in terms of long term relationships. in fact, many women tend to view muscular men as less trustworthy and less likely to commit than less muscular men.

about "status" - i don't personally buy into that nonsense because we are not animals with fixed rankings in a social order. i don't really know what is meant by "social behaviour". social skills are definitely very important in dating, so in general many aspies do have a harder time.


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aSKperger
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10 Jul 2012, 2:06 pm

mv & Who_Am_I & smudge - this is such a BS. I really don't know what your drive is - contempt, embarrassment, remorse? Don't know. But you haven't contributed single opinion into this discussion, single advice, nothing constructive. Just your snobbery.
You read it all and chase your ego with superior comments about contributors.
So please be helpful or quiet.

hyperlexian - about status. So why there are plenty wet women around every alpha, politician, CEO, sportsman, leader? If not status?
And do not forget, it changes with age. Younger girls are more about appearance, getting older it shifts to ... god knows.