Pt 1: Eye contact? Pt 2: Managing loneliness?

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I went to a funeral for one of my coworkers this morning. I didn't know her well, but I went to pay my respects, stayed for an hour, and left. Honestly, I wanted to avoid all of the gatherings and small talk afterward.

And I felt selfish for thinking about myself during the ceremony. It was selfish. I guess I felt guilty. But I couldn't help but think that if I died today the congregation would be a small fraction of the size of the one that was attending. It bummed me out.

Then I ran a few errands. I was wearing a suit, and was a bit surprised by the attention I was getting walking through big box retail stores. I'm not a bad looking guy, but I was surprised by the contrast to my day to day life (maybe I need to update my wardrobe). But even when I was getting attention from attractive women in random public places, it just compounded the bumness. I can get attention, and I can get eye contact, but that's where it ends. My social skills are pitiful, and even eye contact is something I struggle with. The struggle is evident, and it goes no further.

I don't know what to do about this. My self confidence has withered from all of the failed social interactions, even at a basic level. A thousand tiny tragedies have sapped my self esteem. And now I guess I've given up. I'm running damage control by avoiding failure and avoiding any possibility of rejection. But I'm far from asexual, I feel like my youth is slipping, and I feel like I'm missing out on the best years of my life.

I have to stop myself before I write my autobiography here, but I'm still feeling pretty bummed. I don't have any friends. So how is loneliness dealt with when there is no solution? To make a longer story short, I've been single for six months, but I'm getting older and I feel like I could be alone for the rest of my life, and this is all I have to look forward to. I feel like it's a bleeding wound, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's killing me

Sorry for rambling. Thanks for your time.

I've been single for about 8 years, maybe longer. Anyway, you have company in your loneliness. (Yes, that's an oxymoron, I know). I'm in the same boat as you so I have no answers about eluding the trajectory of despair and isolation. Who knows? Things may change when we least expect it.

I was single for twenty years, but then met someone when I was least expecting it. I have to say that when I felt my worst and loneliest, I may have been off putting to the opposite sex. Yet, it's hard not to be; how can one excude confidence when one is feeling like they have landed on the discard heap of life? I questioned myself endlessly as to why was I doomed to be alone, and cursed myself for my social awkwardness. I had endless crushes on people who wouldn't give me the time of day. It seemed that only when I accepted that I wasn't going to find anyone that I relaxed and just looked for occasional social outings. I enjoyed them because I wasn't eagerly looking for a boyfriend, just friends in general.

There are no easy answers. Life is contrary that way, I guess.