Are there any aspergirls on here with NT boyfriends?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

Cafeaulait
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,714
Location: Europe

27 Sep 2012, 6:58 am

Hey, the title basically says it :) I don't know if there is already a topic on this subject.
I read quit alot here from aspie guys that have Neurotypical girlfriends, so I was wondering if there are any aspergirls with NT boys on here :) If yes: where and how did you meet? Was it hard for you to understand his intentions. I mean: how did you know he liked you, and how did you tell/make clear that you liked him? How is your relationships? Did/do you sometimes face any problems (communication) because of your aspergers? etc

Just curious!

cafeaulait



Trekie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 87
Location: Denmark

27 Sep 2012, 7:26 am

I am maried to an NT for 1o years. We met when we where both in this stupid amateur play. He was the fight instruktor and I he was very different than anyone I ever met. He was very tall and fat. He was very well spoken, but he could be insulting. like he did not care if people got angry with him. I did not like this about him, but it was refreshing to see a big guy carry himself with so much comfidence. we where just friends in the beginning, but then I started thinking about him all the time and missing him when we where not together, and finally it hit me. I was totally in love with him. I just kissed him and hoped that he would kiss me back. lukely he did.



megahertz
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 4 Sep 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 86
Location: Germany

27 Sep 2012, 7:45 am

I met my NT boyfriend in a hackerspace. We were few girls in the club (and most girls were already taken), but more than 30 male geeks. One of the hackers was extremely nice to me and sometimes I thought he tried to be around me quite often. But I didn't think more about it, the guy was NT and NTs just are like that... Well, I was happy each time he showed up in the hackerspace, but I never understood what he was up to.
One night only an "inner circle or core nerds" was there, chatting about the good old times when all of us had been new to computer science. In that cosy atmosphere he was sitting next to me so that his hand touched my leg a little bit. Of course, I didn't mind that, I thought it was accidental. The hours went by and his hand was moving upwards, in the early morning it had moved enough centimeters to reach my hand an just grab it. The changeover from "accidental" touch to grabbing my hand was a process of hours while my mind was busy talking to the other guys, so slowly that it didn't annoy me. Lookin back, it must have been planned and a great effort to him. Anyway, that day I finally got it. We're happy now for more than two years. And our hackerspace is stable again, as there are no single girls anymore... ;)



Lochiyoshi
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 23

27 Sep 2012, 2:33 pm

I'm an aspergirl married to an NT with 2 daughters. We have a good and strong relationship. it took some time to get it all settled but it was worth it. We have been married for 10 years and I just found out a couple weeks ago I'm an aspie. So its been a revelation for us. i can expand more if you want.


_________________
AQ Test - 39
Aspie 124 of 200
NT 60 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.
Diagnosed at 35.


getrealguy
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

28 Sep 2012, 6:42 am

Lochiyoshi wrote:
I'm an aspergirl married to an NT with 2 daughters. We have a good and strong relationship. it took some time to get it all settled but it was worth it. We have been married for 10 years and I just found out a couple weeks ago I'm an aspie. So its been a revelation for us. i can expand more if you want.


yes, do that. im an NT guy who likes an asperger girl right now. still trying to figure her out. interesting to see how 'aspergirls' feel about dating



anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,243
Location: Ontario, Canada

28 Sep 2012, 7:47 pm

I'm not completely aspie, but am a spectrumite with a lovely NT boyfriend. We've been dating for nearly nine months. I met him through a mutual friend, and we were friends for quite a while before we started dating. We've always been really attracted to each other, and it had gotten to the point where this attraction was so obvious that we felt we had to pursue something.

However, he apparently flirted with me like crazy ever since we first hung out, but most of those signs went over my head as guys in general tend to flirt with me quite a lot and I'm just used to it. With him though, it was a lot more subtle. This was likely because he's a super sweet guy who does not have an ounce of douche in him and from then I realized that I tend to only recognize when I'm hit on by douchebags. I just thought he was a fun, friendly guy, and would never have guessed he liked me. It only became obvious to me when my friends and him were out having dessert and he put his arm around me.

Then I realized it...that same night he ended up buying me dinner, and during this dessert I bought us a brownie to share because he was so nice...and earlier on when we were walking around at the zoo with a big group of our friends, we always split off apart from the group to make each other laugh...we had all of these crazy inside jokes going on (we have always had these and still create them!). We were engaging in a lot of coupley behavior without me really being aware of it. This, to me, is really how love is supposed to be: it's natural, subtle, and unavoidable, and everything falls into place. It really is about chemistry and things "feeling right". And they still do. On my birthday, after a week of celebrations with my other friends, he took me out for kareoke, where we kissed and confessed our crushes on each other, and from then it began.

We rarely have conflicts and don't have any problems with communication, as we both value honesty. He is the most direct and honest guy I've ever met, and even though we've had minor conflicts, we have never fought about anything. If there's anything about me that he feels is limiting me or could limit my connections with others, he'll point it out in a constructive way, as he values me and wants me to be successful and happy with myself. My biggest concern is that he's a happy-go-lucky guy and he never seems to have the kinds of issues that I have, like my obsessive thinking, low self-esteem, and tendency to get "stuck" on one thing or idea at a time. Sometimes I worry that I'm burdening him with my issues, but before we started going out, I let him know about all my issues and he still pursued something with me.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that he does love the person I am, flaws and all, and that even though he is more socially and emotionally adjusted, it does not mean that he thinks of me any less.


_________________
I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).