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Raven
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17 Oct 2012, 1:42 pm

There is a girl who apparently likes me, however, I don't think she is attractive at all, in neither looks nor personality.

The dilemma is that there aren't too many girls who like me and I keep thinking that if I don't take this chance now, I have no idea when or even if a more attractive girl ever will like me like this girl does.

What should I do?



starryeyedvoyager
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17 Oct 2012, 1:57 pm

A quote from Mr. Miyagi sums it all up: "Never put passion before principle. Even if mean you lose." Do you want to live a lie? If it was only yourself you were lying to, fine. But could you lie to someone who invests a great deal of emotions into you every day? You have your standards, she doesn't compare to them, end of story. You can save yourself and her alot of trouble and grief by being honest.


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BrokenEnvoke
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17 Oct 2012, 2:06 pm

starryeyedvoyager wrote:
A quote from Mr. Miyagi sums it all up: "Never put passion before principle. Even if mean you lose." Do you want to live a lie? If it was only yourself you were lying to, fine. But could you lie to someone who invests a great deal of emotions into you every day? You have your standards, she doesn't compare to them, end of story. You can save yourself and her alot of trouble and grief by being honest.


dis

Don't date for the sake of dating.



Vomelche
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17 Oct 2012, 3:35 pm

You could talk to her and be friends, just don`t lead her on if you end up not being interested.



civrev
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17 Oct 2012, 4:19 pm

If you aren't interested in the girl, there's probably a very good reason for it and it wouldn't work out well. You'll regret it and realize being single was a preferable option to being with someone who wasn't for you.

With that being said, the last time a girl was interested in me and I wasn't particularly interested in her, I mentioned my reservations. "Well, I'm not closed to the possibility, but I really don't like this and this. I'm not sure I could get over that." Let her decide how bad she really wants you. If she really works to change herself for the better because she really wants to be with you, then maybe it warrants some reconsideration. Otherwise, chances are she'll either believe she can't do it or that it's not worth it, and she'll lose interest. That may save some of the pain and awkwardness of a flat out rejection, too.



Northeastern292
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17 Oct 2012, 11:18 pm

Been there, done that. It's always a pattern, which I wish I could coin after myself: there's no mutual like: it's either girl likes me and I don't like her or I like girl but she doesn't like me.



xerofyre
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18 Oct 2012, 12:00 am

You could always give it a chance, you never know, she might not be physically attractive to you, but she may turn out a really nice person. Even if you go for it, you don't have to stay with her forever, if it doesn't work out at least then you tried.



GiantHockeyFan
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18 Oct 2012, 12:31 pm

xerofyre wrote:
You could always give it a chance, you never know, she might not be physically attractive to you, but she may turn out a really nice person. Even if you go for it, you don't have to stay with her forever, if it doesn't work out at least then you tried.


That's what I did. She was not physically attractive at all but I went for a friendship instead. Lets just say it's scary how our interests are so similar and leave it at that.



thewhitrbbit
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18 Oct 2012, 12:37 pm

Here's how I'd look at it.

Is she 100% not attractive, or somewhere in the middle. If you have like NO attraction to her, then it's prob not gonna work out. If your on the fence, like she's kinna hot but kinna not, give it a try.



LaughingDove
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18 Oct 2012, 11:39 pm

If her personality isn't attractive to you, then you've got more a dilemma. Tastes can be a lot more malleable than people really assume as far as looks go, and I've personally found out that keeping an open mind can open one up to things one never would have thought they'd have enjoyed. I even find that it's terribly difficult to be attracted to even a very 'hot' person if they're completely unnattractive to me personality/intellect wise. It can take a while to learn someone's personality, so depending on whether you've made a snap judgement of this person from a short interaction, or have known them over a longer time, either offer to get together casually in a non-pressure setting (at a park, hanging out with friends, chatting online, don't go for a date right off the bat) or turn them down politely.

I wouldn't even entertain the thought of dating someone you simply aren't interested in, that stuffs things up for both people and is a great way to get into really hairy, unpleasant situations.



Wolfheart
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19 Oct 2012, 2:12 am

laughingdove wrote:
I even find that it's terribly difficult to be attracted to even a very 'hot' person if they're completely unnattractive to me personality/intellect wise


+1

I have never been attracted to someone unless they show a certain depth or conviction that relates to me.

I think you really need to sit down and come to a logical conclusion of what you really want. If you can't see what she is worth for who she is, you need to simply tell her that it won't work otherwise you are being unfair on her.



Cafeaulait
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19 Oct 2012, 11:52 am

Show us the picture



Greatsharkbite
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19 Oct 2012, 12:27 pm

If it was just looks, i'd say go for it.. but if you hate her personality then you're not trying to talk to her much either.

So i'd probably stay away. I mean you can give it a shot if you want to just have dated someone, always nice to try nice things but its just if you get to far involved it can lead to some potentially nasty consequences.