so what are shy men suppose to do
Shatbat
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AspieRogue wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place.
What a bunch of bullsh*t. You don't need to read someones mind, you need to read their body language. You see unduki, if a man wants a woman bad enough but she does NOT feel the same way about him, his "go get her" approach will creep her out. I constantly hear women whining and complaining about being pursued by guys they're uninterested in. Social endeavors(including hitting on someone/asking them out)are the sort of thing where you get no credit for making the effort. You ONLY get credit if you produce the right results. Women like you are always trying to tell guys who aren't social to "be a man" and just go approach women........And then play damsel in distress and cry boo hoo about some "creeeeeepy" guy hitting on you! Get over yourself and STFU.
PPR has a set of very lax rules that allow you to be rude to everyone to your hearts content. L&D is different though, so you should watch your language
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
steviewonderau wrote:
If you are a shy, introverted guy and find it hard talking to people let alone approaching women you are probably better off just being you and remain alone. Anyway most relationships do not last long and there is like a 50% divorce rate. Asperger males are not missing out much by not being in or ever being in a more than likely dysfunctional relationships. If you are a quiet shy guy do nothing to change you.
There is some truth to this ,although,I think you are painting a very negative picture.In many ways,Aspies seem to be ill equipped for conventional relationships.I knew long ago I was not someone who could ever be a family man .However,that doesn't mean Aspies can't develop a satisfying relationship that works for them.
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place. Why saddle a woman with a man just because you feel sorry for him?
That's a pretty insulting thing to suggest to men with AS. Laying blame on a man who inherently doesn't have the know how or means to successfully approach a hypothetical woman is pretty misguided in my opinion.
bruinsy33 wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place. Why saddle a woman with a man just because you feel sorry for him?
That's a pretty insulting thing to suggest to men with AS.Of course it is. And unduki did that deliberately because she thinks she can get away with it. What she said was not only insulting to aspie men, it's just dumb.
Shatbat wrote:
I'm still wondering which is the acceptable amount of bragging I'm entitled to after being called the sexiest guy on wp .
I read not too long ago about a hitman who fell in love with his mark and refused to kill her. That assassin better not be gay
I read not too long ago about a hitman who fell in love with his mark and refused to kill her. That assassin better not be gay
Good luck. I hear all of his assassins love men.
Shatbat wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place.
What a bunch of bullsh*t. You don't need to read someones mind, you need to read their body language. You see unduki, if a man wants a woman bad enough but she does NOT feel the same way about him, his "go get her" approach will creep her out. I constantly hear women whining and complaining about being pursued by guys they're uninterested in. Social endeavors(including hitting on someone/asking them out)are the sort of thing where you get no credit for making the effort. You ONLY get credit if you produce the right results. Women like you are always trying to tell guys who aren't social to "be a man" and just go approach women........And then play damsel in distress and cry boo hoo about some "creeeeeepy" guy hitting on you! Get over yourself and STFU.
PPR has a set of very lax rules that allow you to be rude to everyone to your hearts content. L&D is different though, so you should watch your language
yes. AspieRogue, keep it nicer, please. this isn't a debate forum. you can find polite ways to disagree.
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AspieRogue wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place.
What a bunch of bullsh*t. You don't need to read someones mind, you need to read their body language. You see unduki, if a man wants a woman bad enough but she does NOT feel the same way about him, his "go get her" approach will creep her out. I constantly hear women whining and complaining about being pursued by guys they're uninterested in. Social endeavors(including hitting on someone/asking them out)are the sort of thing where you get no credit for making the effort. You ONLY get credit if you produce the right results. Women like you are always trying to tell guys who aren't social to "be a man" and just go approach women........And then play damsel in distress and cry boo hoo about some "creeeeeepy" guy hitting on you! Get over yourself and STFU.
Wow! I didn't know I would be attacked so ferociously for stating my opinion. I wasn't being rude or unkind, I was merely stating the facts logically as I see them. I'm open to discussion but I don't think personal insults are appropriate at all.
First of all - where are we??? As an aspie female, I'm insulted that I'm expected to read a shy man's body language. It's my fault he's shy??? Maybe I'm shy. No one clarified that we were only to discuss shy aspie men and forget that women can have autism, too. And "women like you" comments are lost to me because I'm not like any other women I've ever met. Get over yourself, eh?
My point was simply this - If a man is so shy that he's unable to communicate his feelings and intentions, its unreasonable to expect women to know.
This is what the song, "Horace Wimp" is all about.
My mother was extremely shy. She had a bunch of kids and had to get over it to get us through school. It took her awhile and she struggled with it a lot, but she did. People can and do all the time. Shyness is not the end of the world. Rudeness on the other hand, has a very good shot.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.
billiscool wrote:
since most women don't want to approach men and how shyness is view as ''weakness''.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
No where does the OP mention social anxiety.
_________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.
unduki wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since most women don't want to approach men and how shyness is view as ''weakness''.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
No where does the OP mention social anxiety.
It's extremely common in people with Asperger's.
Kurgan wrote:
unduki wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since most women don't want to approach men and how shyness is view as ''weakness''.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?
What are they suppose to do?. Stay single and not have a relationship?
Some men are not just not good with women, period.
So should shy men just throw in towel becomes monk and live a celebacy lifestyle.
Women are not going to approach these men anytimes soon unless there is
some cert of culture change but I don't think that going to happen.
I have a chances of getting a girlfriend because I can go up and talk to a woman,
but I feel sorry for men who can't even do that and how they get insulted all the time for
not being able to approach a woman.
No where does the OP mention social anxiety.
It's extremely common in people with Asperger's.
Why, yes it is.
Sometimes I feel like Kiff from futurama when it comes to asking a woman out.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList
AspieOtaku wrote:
Sometimes I feel like Kiff from futurama when it comes to asking a woman out.
i could see that. he does resemble the quiet and caring type.
to get around that there is only 1 change needed. you have to convince yourself that you are the better catch than the person you are going after. that is the basic idea in most "pick up artist" training guides.
I think the best way to find people to date is to get involved in a group hobby, club or activity, especially if it's something in which you excel. Its easier to have reasons to interact. It takes longer but I think you get better results.
Don't discount any new, platonic friendships, either. Everyone has a single friend or relative they can introduce to you and a lot of people enjoy matchmaking.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.