so what are shy men suppose to do

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unduki
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14 Nov 2012, 10:22 pm

AspieRogue wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place. Why saddle a woman with a man just because you feel sorry for him?
That's a pretty insulting thing to suggest to men with AS.



Of course it is. And unduki did that deliberately because she thinks she can get away with it. What she said was not only insulting to aspie men, it's just dumb.


I AM NOT DUMB!



14 Nov 2012, 10:33 pm

unduki wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place. Why saddle a woman with a man just because you feel sorry for him?
That's a pretty insulting thing to suggest to men with AS.



Of course it is. And unduki did that deliberately because she thinks she can get away with it. What she said was not only insulting to aspie men, it's just dumb.


I AM NOT DUMB!



I didn't say that YOU were dumb, I said that what you said was such. Sorry for lashing out at you.



AspieOtaku
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14 Nov 2012, 11:50 pm

ManicDan wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
Sometimes I feel like Kiff from futurama when it comes to asking a woman out.


i could see that. he does resemble the quiet and caring type.

to get around that there is only 1 change needed. you have to convince yourself that you are the better catch than the person you are going after. that is the basic idea in most "pick up artist" training guides.
Sometimes a couple beers helps remedy that not enough to be drunk but enough to calm my nerves.


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bruinsy33
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15 Nov 2012, 12:11 pm

unduki wrote:
I think the best way to find people to date is to get involved in a group hobby, club or activity, especially if it's something in which you excel. Its easier to have reasons to interact. It takes longer but I think you get better results.

Don't discount any new, platonic friendships, either. Everyone has a single friend or relative they can introduce to you and a lot of people enjoy matchmaking.
For some Aspies this might be the way to go but personally I have always felt extremely uncomfortable in group situations and this combined with sensory issues wouldn't make it a viable option for me .I would likely just come across as ''weird'' .



ManicDan
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15 Nov 2012, 1:34 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
For some Aspies this might be the way to go but personally I have always felt extremely uncomfortable in group situations and this combined with sensory issues wouldn't make it a viable option for me .I would likely just come across as ''weird'' .


what kind of activities do you enjoy that are in sorta public, maybe we can think of other similar ones.



unduki
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15 Nov 2012, 4:33 pm

Volunteering might be suitable for some aspies. People who run organizations to help others generally tend to appreciate anyone willing to help and will be the first to look beyond any "weirdness." Helping others is a good way to get out of yourself a little, too. For me, it prompts me to better appreciate my situation. Life doesn't seem so crappy when I help someone worse off than me.

Church can be a good place, too. Depends...

I volunteer for a community emergency response team. I probably give 1-2 hours a month to the group on a regular basis. Every now and then we have training or refresher courses that take a day or so. Our group includes HAM radio operators. Honestly, it doesn't get much weirder but I love these guys. They are fascinating.

I also volunteer for city committees - POLITICS... Right now, I'm a planning commissioner. I really like this involvement because everything has to follow the Brown Act which makes it all straightforward and not so open to interpretation.

I belong to a rockhounder club. Lots of hermit-types - it's the most interesting group I interact with. I've also done a hiking club (got three dates within two months), tall clubs (focused on dating - a little uncomfortable for me), a photography group, master composters and a garden club.

I recently became involved with an event group that hmmm, I'm not sure how to describe them. I don't have the words. Wastelandweekend.com is their website. I do lots of repurposing of discarded junk - it really taps into my creativity. I've met the most fascinating people from all over the world in my dealings with this event and very little of it was uncomfortable. Almost like magic...

I think one would start with their personal interests and research what's out there. I don't focus so much on getting a significant other and stuff has a way of falling into place, or not. Whatever. I just try to enjoy life. With or without a companion, it's mine for such a short time. Why not do everything?


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AspieOtaku
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15 Nov 2012, 6:38 pm

Go to Comicon or your nearest anime scifi or comicbook convention you are bound to find a lot of aspie and aspie friendly girls.Just have to settle with nerds hehe.


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BlueMax
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15 Nov 2012, 7:13 pm

This thread always reminds me of this...

Most of the world's response to the question of we shy men - what is it you want us to do?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rw5MosKRm4[/youtube]



AspieOtaku
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15 Nov 2012, 7:27 pm

BlueMax wrote:
This thread always reminds me of this...

Most of the world's response to the question of we shy men - what is it you want us to do?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rw5MosKRm4[/youtube]
So true I suppose that alian is a woman too! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :help:


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bruinsy33
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17 Nov 2012, 2:40 pm

AspieRogue wrote:
unduki wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
unduki wrote:
Women aren't mind readers. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he'll muster the courage to get her. If he can't, he probably doesn't deserve her in the first place. Why saddle a woman with a man just because you feel sorry for him?
That's a pretty insulting thing to suggest to men with AS.



Of course it is. And unduki did that deliberately because she thinks she can get away with it. What she said was not only insulting to aspie men, it's just dumb.


I AM NOT DUMB!



I didn't say that YOU were dumb, I said that what you said was such. Sorry for lashing out at you.
I agree with AspieRogue.The majority of Aspie men have tremendous difficulties trying to approach, interact and ask a woman for a date.To imply that they lack courage when they are inherently at a disadvantage when it comes to this sort of thing wasn't an intelligent thing to say.I have read further commentary from unduki and unduki is obviously intelligent but that particular comment wasn't very considerate for an Aspie board.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2012, 4:58 pm

DIIIiiie

Diiiiie, shy men, diiiie. :skull:



MXH
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17 Nov 2012, 6:14 pm

Image
No Mr. shy guy I expect you to DIE



Giftorcurse
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18 Nov 2012, 2:20 pm

Man up and show the b*****s of the world who's boss.


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WantToHaveALife
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19 Nov 2012, 4:31 pm

it's not fair at all, guys have to do way more self-improvement than girls do



AspieOtaku
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19 Nov 2012, 6:16 pm

Wait till the women ask you out if she wants the man enough shell do it and not play games about it although she may feel frustrated having to do it.


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LKL
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19 Nov 2012, 11:31 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
it's not fair at all, guys have to do way more self-improvement than girls do

Women just have to starve themselves and spend $100 a month on cosmetics.