so what are shy men suppose to do

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AspieOtaku
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08 Nov 2012, 12:48 am

Women tend to be attracted to men who are not looking and completly indifferent to them also to men who are with women already.You could always find a wingwoman and go out and youl notice more women hitting on you.


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LKL
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08 Nov 2012, 1:01 am

It means he's less dangerous. That's part of what's so great about gay guys: they really don't give a damn about you, so you can just be real friends like normal human beings.



ANicL
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08 Nov 2012, 1:02 am

Im very shy, the only opportunities i got with finding someone is if a woman is flirty with me on a bus, or at work, but its hard because i really dont talk unless im spoken to. And i really dont have the social skills to start any kind of flirting or conversating, so at this point ill just go about my life, and it something happens, then great, if it doesnt then i guess i just be alone and play lots of video games and porn.


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08 Nov 2012, 1:07 am

LKL wrote:
It means he's less dangerous. That's part of what's so great about gay guys: they really don't give a damn about you, so you can just be real friends like normal human beings.
see, this is the love and dating forum. There is a friends forum elsewhere that all of your advice would work great on.



AspieOtaku
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08 Nov 2012, 1:51 am

ANicL wrote:
Im very shy, the only opportunities i got with finding someone is if a woman is flirty with me on a bus, or at work, but its hard because i really dont talk unless im spoken to. And i really dont have the social skills to start any kind of flirting or conversating, so at this point ill just go about my life, and it something happens, then great, if it doesnt then i guess i just be alone and play lots of video games and porn.
That's exactly how I feel lol.


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08 Nov 2012, 2:17 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Women tend to be attracted to men who are not looking and completly indifferent to them also to men who are with women already.You could always find a wingwoman and go out and youl notice more women hitting on you.
I am sure most Aspie men have misinterpreted flirting signals from women and thus given off the impression that they are not interested.It seems to me that the majority of women will give up on trying to flirt with someone who isn't responding appropriately.Men with AS need to get better at recognizing when a woman is interested in them so they can respond appropriately.



LKL
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08 Nov 2012, 7:31 pm

MXH wrote:
LKL wrote:
It means he's less dangerous. That's part of what's so great about gay guys: they really don't give a damn about you, so you can just be real friends like normal human beings.
see, this is the love and dating forum. There is a friends forum elsewhere that all of your advice would work great on.

and, again, the two are not mutually exclusive; thinking that they are is part of the problem.



MXH
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08 Nov 2012, 7:51 pm

LKL wrote:
MXH wrote:
LKL wrote:
It means he's less dangerous. That's part of what's so great about gay guys: they really don't give a damn about you, so you can just be real friends like normal human beings.
see, this is the love and dating forum. There is a friends forum elsewhere that all of your advice would work great on.

and, again, the two are not mutually exclusive; thinking that they are is part of the problem.


They are mutually exclusive, because a lot of these men, including myself, have no issues talking to women they see as friends or acquaintances. Their problem is for ones they see as relationship material.



AspieOtaku
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08 Nov 2012, 7:52 pm

^^so I suppose men are guilty until proven innocent yet still expected to do the approaching to me seems like a conspiracy to bait for frivelous entrapment.Or a lesser extentt expect him to approach to shoot him down and label him as a pig.


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CrushingHard61
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08 Nov 2012, 10:32 pm

billiscool wrote:
since most women don't want to approach men and how shyness is view as ''weakness''.
So are shy men who are nervous around women just screwed?


I don't think it's true that all women won't approach men. Those who won't have it drilled into their heads that guys want to be the "hunters" and are turned off by women who approach them.

I am one of those women who does not follow the rules and I absolutely adore shy men. My ex-husband was extremely shy and if I hadn't approached him and done about 90% of the work, we never would have become a couple. I can't stand to be in the same room with him anymore but we do have two great kids from the marriage.

The guy I am currently crushing on (highly likely he's an aspie) is extremely shy and that is one the of major reasons I was drawn to him. Seriously. And I have done all the approaching. I even asked him to go out to dinner. I did not get the response I was hoping for but I don't regret taking the initiative.

Girls who like shy guys ARE out there. They're just rare. And you have to put yourself out there so the rare ones can find you.



DialAForAwesome
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09 Nov 2012, 12:23 pm

And where does that leave the straight guys who pretend to be gay? You'd think with that happening, they'd be scared of gay guys too or wonder what their deal is.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Nov 2012, 1:55 pm

Quote:
so what are shy men suppose to do


They must evolve to non-shy, men have no other option in this one.



JanuaryMan
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09 Nov 2012, 1:59 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
so what are shy men suppose to do


They must evolve to non-shy, men have no other option in this one.


Yep.



MXH
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09 Nov 2012, 2:30 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
so what are shy men suppose to do


They must evolve to non-shy, men have no other option in this one.


Yep.

pretty much. especially with self entitled men and women who wont do much more than belittle you for being shy.



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10 Nov 2012, 9:08 am

If you are a shy, introverted guy and find it hard talking to people let alone approaching women you are probably better off just being you and remain alone. Anyway most relationships do not last long and there is like a 50% divorce rate. Asperger males are not missing out much by not being in or ever being in a more than likely dysfunctional relationships. If you are a quiet shy guy do nothing to change you.



billiscool
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10 Nov 2012, 5:40 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
so what are shy men suppose to do


They must evolve to non-shy, men have no other option in this one.


yeah but it's not easy for shy men.