Where Do you meet women????

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WHERE WHER WHERE?????

It seems like there is never any women I am attracted to talk to no matter where I am. They are either too young or they are already with guys.

Is College class really the only place? Maybe the Mall maybe a coffee shop, but besides that??????????

Yes but like right now I know noone in the new place I live so I got a date through okcupid. In school I always went for the girls I was attracted to so I never had the attraction problem you did.

libraries? You could start a conversation about th book she's reading...

(also works for museums, music gigs and art galleries)

Coffee places- Like those lounge types. I've gotten to know some people there.

Women's shelter...

Volunteer work...I work at an animal shelter. I also notice that females tend to outnumber the males in this department that involves care.

Bars...You might meet the right woman but..most people go there to either get trashed and meet hoping to have one night of fun.

Clubs..but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're real smart in the look and social department. I never enjoyed them as most of the people in them seemed fake.

Libraries..if you're into the Marian the Librarian.

Malls...I noticed a lot girls don't just go to shop but lounge around in them.

AA/NA meetings...that is if you have a alcoholic or drug problem. But I've seen people go for other motives which is against the rule. They call it 13 Steppn'.


I don't know though, you can find women anywhere just as you can find guys anywhere. I guess it depends on the kind of girl you're going for.

The problem is not where the women are, it's developing basic charm and initial contact skills for a contact to take root and become a conversation. Women are everywhere, and the ones who are single often will strike up a conversation with you.

It is better to work on making yourself attractive, fit and learn how to smile naturally and have good posture than it is to study all these pickup guides. And it's important to study basic conversation and body language reading and talking skills in as much detail as you can.

It is possible for AS to become quite charming for simple, transparent and normal dating (not this Machiavellian stuff) after a couple of years of study and training. And "sex magnet" requires just a few months of workouts and running. It's like that "Field of Dreams" : Develop yourself and they will come. They will approach you and strike up conversations with you.

Online, and willing to travel as far as necessary (San Antonio isn't exactly the best place to meet artsy, liberal female Aspies).

Wow.

All the religionists on this site, yet not one mention of meeting women at a place that people gather for worship!

Y'know ... there's a lot of repressed sexuality in many fundamentalist churches ...

He's right... they are there, looking for marriage. Plus there are hordes of aunts and uncles trying to fix up their nephews and nieces...

OY! Such a nice fellow I have for you!

(What's he look like, Fnord?)

He has a college degree and a promising future...

(What's he look like, Fnord?)

He drives mercedes and has a house near the mountains...

(What's he look like, Fnord?)

He enjoys cooking, music, and writing novels...

(What does he look like, Fnord?)

And did I mention he's great with kids?

(What. Does. He. Look. Like? )

Well ... you remember that movie about the guy who invented a teleportation machine and he wanted to try it out on himself except a bug got in the machine and he came out looking like a monster?

("The Fly"? You mean, he looks like Jeff Goldblum?)

Yes! Well ... not exactly ...

Some advice -- work and school are usually the worst places to meet women, because you're never really around each other voluntarily. It can work, but don't count on it, and it limits you too much in terms of looking elsewhere.

The main thing in meeting women is just mere exposure -- getting the "sample size" up. I've said this in other posts, but the main factor is just to meet as many people as you can, so that the 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 women that will be attracted to you can actually meet you -- you can't date someone you've never met, so you're asking the right question.

Good sources for AS folks to meet women:
--Extracurricular clubs and organizations, school government, interest clubs, stuff like that. I guarantee it will force you to meet more people, be more social, and also expose you to women who will be interested in you.
--Friends of friends -- but don't rely on this too much, as there's a lot of pressure and you don't want to mess up anything for them. Just consider it a lower-tier source
--Random people-- strangers, people you're in line with, someone who looks friendly. You'd be surprised how random encounters can turn into friendships. One GF I ended up with, we only met because she said "Bless you" when I sneezed in class, and then she was on my radar. I noticed we walked back to the dorms the same way, and that her body language seemed to indicate interest. I started talking to her, and it snowballed from there.

Just remember that every encounter is a crap shoot, and you're not going to win them all or lose them all, but what do you really have to lose? Make the effort, and you'll get paid out accordingly.

The better question is, what do you want to meet them for?
For example, if you're looking for a one night stand, you wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) look in the same places you'd look for a girlfriend.
So what is it you're wanting to find?

This is the major problem here. Without social 'know-how' you're not going to get anywhere, and trolling the malls, coffee shops, and bars is not the best idea.

My suggestion would be to get involved in a club you could enjoy, avoid worrying about getting a date right away, and if you focus on making yourself attractive, more socially adept, doing things you like out in the open, I guarantee women will start approaching YOU. Just have to pick up on those signals.

Great advice -- +100 to what CerebralDreamer says. Build the skills and the person (you), make yourself happy, they will come. People are attracted to people who are happy in their lives.

Here's my list:
Grocery stores
Libraries
Pet Stores
Book Stores
Race car events
Concerts
Plays
Metro Trains or other mass-tansit
Political Ralleys
Clubs of almost anykind, like book clubs, gun clubs, ski clubs, sewing clubs
Hair cutting places like Quick Cuts
Juice Bars

Those are the best I found over the years. College classes are ideal if your in school.

I third that. Its advice I've started following myself since I was diagnosed.

Yes in my estimation woman as well as men wants to have someone who will make their life better. So if your act awkward you won't get anything because they sense the lack of confidence and its a turn off to looking at your qualities now if your confident they will see those qualities that you possess and see how it helps them. Its like at my retail job all the girls who are pretty young have come up to me and started talking to me without me having to even approach them.

It seems as though they are attracted to me and the older people there keep offering to set me up with their relatives (daughter, niece, insert relation here, etc). The difference between me and the other younger guys on the crew is that I'm not self conscious. The other men there don't have any ASD's that I know of its just their lack of confidence shows.

I witnessed one of the other guys trying to talk to the same girl who approached me and she just really politely yesed him and you could see he was trying to get to a point where he could ask her out on a date or whatever but the awkwardness killed his chance. Believe in who you are and don't let stupid stuff like this "diagnosis" make you feel inferior. No matter how much you hide it if you feel inferior people sense that. You have gifts and abilities that other people don't have believe in those and believe in your own potential. Now that doesn't mean act like a jerk because a person whos confident doesn't act like a jerk but also make sure that your presenting who you are and the confidence that would make a girl attracted to you.

PS: sorry I know this seems like a pep talk but really alot of people on these boards are looking for the magic key to success. It doesn't exist I have as active as a social life as I want and not every girl I try for is attracted to me and there has been times I've got more rejections then yeses but in the end you have to work on yourself first. There is nothing anyone can teach you, no magic place, no magic pick up line. Its all about being confident in who you are and having the willpower to open new doors when one door closes.