Would you critique my OKCupid?

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MXH
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21 Dec 2012, 2:06 am

BlueMax wrote:
You also describe yourself as "athletic". You look lean, not muscular in those pics.


and some girls call themselves curvy when they mean a little extra. its quite common in the dating game



1000Knives
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21 Dec 2012, 2:38 am

BlueMax wrote:
I never knew which picture was one of YOU, as each one had more than one person! Only by eventually finding the same person in each picture did I finally realize it was the guy in big glasses. At least clarify with the wording below?

You also describe yourself as "athletic". You look lean, not muscular in those pics.

...but it looks like you lead an interesting and successful life! That should be good...


He's an endurance runner, so he is in fact an athlete.



Last edited by 1000Knives on 21 Dec 2012, 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

JBlitzen
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21 Dec 2012, 3:15 am

As a guy, I'll say that you should probably leave your salary blank. People see "filmmaker" and that sounds cool. Don't spoil it by reminding them that filmmakers are often poor, heh.

You certainly qualify as athletic if you go running a lot. Some people in here have obviously never seen triathlon body types.

I can't comment on your pics except, yeah, glancing at three of them I still have no idea what you look like, heh. Not going to comment on dress or whatever since wtf do I know.

The rest sounds cool at a glance.

But again, I'm a guy, so none of this is gospel.



Kittenmancer
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21 Dec 2012, 3:27 am

Your profile definitely look interesting to me, perhaps also because I used to dabble in film making. Congratulations on your Emmy, by the way, that is impressive!

Regarding the pictures, try to find (or edit) one that only shows you and not other people as well. You are *not* ugly. I personally don't mind the geeky look (except for the pants >.<). The hair style you have in the last picture is the best looking in my opinion, the ones where you have your hair swept back from your forehead are not very flattering.

I agree with windtreeman's suggestions, I am a huge cat person and when I still used OKC I tended to dismiss people who said they disliked cats, or at least they would make me go :sadface:. A lot of my female friends (most of them also geeks) are also cat persons, so perhaps avoid mentioning an active dislike in your profile.

Good luck!



JBlitzen
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21 Dec 2012, 3:33 am

Yeah, hating cats is a weird thing to comment on. It sounds a little psychotic, like saying "in my free time I enjoy sunsets, picnics, and setting squirrels on fire." I mean, do you really devote a significant portion of your life to hating cats? You can't find something better to do? Haha.

Anyway, I actually came back because I remembered this:

http://www.okcupid.com/mybestface

It's an OKC tool for helping you decide which pictures work best for you. Use as many as you can find, just dump a whole mess into it, and see which ones come out on top. They're often not what you expect.



Kinme
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21 Dec 2012, 3:52 am

You seem interesting and you're attractive. I'm honestly not sure how you're having trouble. That probably didn't help much. *Shrug* I guess you could always fill out more questionnaires on there; that never hurts. They will be able to better match you to people who might be compatible, true? Also, even though I easily figured out who you were, most people might have trouble. You might want to take a close-up or a nice picture of just you.



Brianruns10
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21 Dec 2012, 10:55 am

So many great comments...it's a bit overwhelming. I just don't know how much of it I can fix. I thought my personality WAS showing through. Maybe it means I don't have a personality. I was trying to convey the variety of things that I fill my life with. I don't know what sort of personality I have, other than I try to be serious and respectable and I try to show everyone I meet that I'm worthy and professional.

As far as clothes? I thought I was a nice dresser, but I just don't know. I can't afford much in the way of buying new wardrobe...my money is pretty much earmarked for my film productions. I so wish people woudln't just based on clothes, but I guess they do, and I probably don't have much fashion sense. I just don't want to make false pretenses. I'm not fashionable, and I want people to like me for me, not because of what I wear, even though I know it's part of the game.

Some one mentioned income, asking how come I make only 25K when I have a masters. I didn't get my masters to get rich. I got it because I do what I love. If that makes me a loser because I don't make much, well then I am a loser.

But someday I'll be a winner. Someday I'll make a really, really great and beautiful work of cinema, and then I'll maybe meet the one person who'll forgive my failing as a human being, and who'll GIVE ME A CHANCE because they'll see I have a lot of love to give, even if I wasn't gifted with a winning personality or good looks.

Or maybe I'm just kdiding myself, and I'm god's private little joke? Am I hopeless? Thank god I don't own a gun (and I never will). Otherwise, I'm sure by now I'd have used it on myself. I just can't stand the loneliness. I just wish there was a woman out there who'd pick up the phone when I'd call...



operationpaperclip
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21 Dec 2012, 10:56 am

Your income is too low.



Brianruns10
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21 Dec 2012, 11:26 am

My income is too low? The f**k am I supposed to do about that?



operationpaperclip
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21 Dec 2012, 11:34 am

Rob a bank.

Or marry some horrible wealthy old lady and just use the OKCupid for affairs.



Pondering
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21 Dec 2012, 11:46 am

I don't see anything wrong with your profile, but there are some changes I see that might* increase your success with meeting women. Maybe your main profile pic would attract more women if your picture was a clear and unedited close up of you. Your current pic is fine, but it's hard to see you well, even after viewing the full sized version. Attracting someone to your profile often starts with the small pic that shows up in matches for you and searches, plus you are a good looking fellow and your fashion sense is fine so I think you should try it out. Some women don't like the formal/nerdy look, but I noticed that a lot of women on Okcupid claim to like nerds and be a bit nerdy themselves, so don't worry about it too much. Lastly, I think it would help to add in some witty jokes, try to make them up yourself, and avoid those uncreative copy pastas that some guys will post on here and tell others to use, because they scream "I'm a douchebag". Women like humour, so if you are able to make them smile from your own jokes, that's a big +1 in the books.

Your income shouldn't be a big deal to a lot of women. While you are not rolling in dough, you have a job that enables you to support yourself, you're ambicious, you have a interesting long term goal set in mind, and it's nothing impossible to achieve. As long as you are motivated, many women will respect that and accept you. Some still won't, but that's just how it goes. Different strokes...


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spongy
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21 Dec 2012, 11:47 am

Please try to be a little nice with the comments so that we dont have to take this thread down

Brian is a nice guy and he is honestly just looking for some help, if you cant help him nicely move along.



ruckus
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21 Dec 2012, 11:53 am

I don't think many people are going to really care how much money you make so long as you're doing something with your life and have ambitions. Also, I'm not telling you to buy a new wardrobe, just try wearing your pants a little lower, they look silly so high up!

The self-loathing attitude isn't helping though, and honestly, that's probably the root cause of your problems. Your appearance, your job, your hobbies, whatever - they're all useless fluff until you gain some respect for yourself. I know it's a cliche, but you can't love others until you learn to love yourself. Really!



Last edited by ruckus on 21 Dec 2012, 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

Brianruns10
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21 Dec 2012, 11:55 am

spongy wrote:
Please try to be a little nice with the comments so that we dont have to take this thread down

Brian is a nice guy and he is honestly just looking for some help, if you cant help him nicely move along.


I don't think anyone is being mean. They're being honest.

And you do me too much credit. I like to think I'm a good, nice guy, but I just don't know. I mean if I was really that good of a person, wouldn't I have found someone by now, or even have had a girlfriend? The fact that I've never had a GF, and I'm 28, tells me that what I fear is I'm fundamentally not good. I fear no matter how much I try to "Sell" myself on OKCupid, it won't change the fact I'm not worth loving.



operationpaperclip
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21 Dec 2012, 11:57 am

Very few people are fundamentally good or nice.



ruckus
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21 Dec 2012, 11:58 am

operationpaperclip wrote:
Very few people are fundamentally good or nice.

I disagree.