Would you critique my OKCupid?

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Suit yourself.

I guess it's a catch 22. I hate myself because I can't get a girlfriend, and I can't get a girlfriend because I hate myself.

But I'm trying to fake confidence, fake self respect. To smile and be enthusiastic and to listen to the person sitting across from me at the table. I'm trying upsell myself. I mean, I've not done so badly for myself, have I? Surely someone would see I have some merit?

lol at the silly unimportant stuff (yet important to them) that women notice about, like slightly wrong pants for example!! Scanning for every sh-- detail.

Seriously I didn't notice anything wrong with pants before reading the posts (yea they're little high but meh) and I bet that all men didn't, It's not like they're rainbow pants.

Do you think you will suddenly stop hating yourself if you get a girlfriend? Is there anything that makes you happy that doesn't involve being in a relationship? Does making films make you happy?

We can't depend on others for our happiness. A woman won't complete you. You're not a bad guy (from what little I've seen), but you need to learn to accept yourself for who you are, regardless of your relationship status.

I agree with Ruckus that we always have to be strong on our own before being in a relationship. Just focus on yourself for now and if a woman comes, then let her come...just don't cause yourself anxiety worrying about it. In the meanwhile just focus on your goal/interests. Plus, I do feel a bit angry(at how the world is) that you have to suffer, I really think you deserve to have had a GF already. I feel really sad that so many good people on here have trouble finding GF's and I find nothing wrong with them.

The problem probably lies in the axillary region.

I say remove most questions and keep the interesting ones private.


Remove the explanation of the confidence question.

i noticed lol. he looks like a nerd lol. I believe that brian is a good guy but he jsut simply doesnt have the look that women go for!

horrible advice by those telling him to wait and see. The guy is 28 and obviously noone is coming. I think brian is a GOOD guy and i think his issues stem from his lack of female companionship. I think it's unfortunate he can't get a gf.

That is exactly what I thought when I read it as well. It reads like a curriculum vitae. From reading it, one is left with the impression that you definitely love film-making, and not much else. Films, films, films. We are not told anything about what kind of girl you want, what kind of romantic hopes and dreams you have, or even informed of the fact that you are lonely.

That's fair enough. Most people don't like disclosing the fact that they're lonely on their dating profile, because it makes them look desperate, but don't you think you should include a few sentences saying something like "although I am currently enjoying a successful career, I would like to have somebody to share my life with, and that's why I'm here on OKCupid" or somehing like that? All you talk about is your films. In your other posts here, you have awoken my sympathy and tender feelings when you speak of your great desire for a girlfriend, but we see nothing of that in your profile. All you talk about is your profession.

Now, I'm not criticising you. I'm only trying to help. As a fellow Aspie I sympathise that film-making is your special interest as well as your career, and you want to talk about it all the time. That is only natural. But is it really necessary to start your profile by informing us that you've won an Emmy?

It really, really, really, really, really sounds like boasting. It really does. To me, at least. I know you probably didn't mean it that way, and you are just eager to talk about your love of filmmaking, but it sounds like boasting.

If somebody walks up to me and the very first thing they do is inform me of an important prize that they've just won, I will get the impression that they are a conceited person who does nothing but boast about their achievements all the time. And that is a very great shame - because, actually, reading between the lines, I'd say you're not a conceited person at all. I think that you a very insecure person, who feels that you have nothing much to give except your talent for making films.

Girls don't want to know whether or not you can make good films. They want to know things like are you a good cook? Do you give good massages? Are you good at DIY? Can you drive a car? Do you always put the toilet seat back down? Do you have good personal hygiene? Do you have any pets? Do you remember people's birthdays? Do you spend all day in front of the TV drinking beer and watching football? It's the little things like that that girls want to know, and you have not told them anything about yourself, other than the fact that you make films.

What are the things you actually hope to do with this girlfriend you are looking for?(other than sex). Presumably you do not want to make films of her, so why do you want her? Do you want to go for romantic walks along the beach? Do you want to go on action-packed weekends away, and do things like white-water rafting? Do you want to run a chimpanzee sanctuary together? We do not know. We have no idea. You have not told us!

I suggest you explain what kind of man you are, and explain what kind of girl you are looking for, and then delete most of the references to film-making from the profile, and limit yourself to a few brief sentences about it, saying "I'm a film-maker and have actually managed to become quite successful in my field, but I won't bother talking about that here. If you'd like to know more, get in touch with me and maybe we can discuss it over a glass of wine." That will make the girls curious, because they will want to know who you are. For all they know, they could even be reading the profile of Stephen Spielberg himself!

Currently, informing us that you were the Emmy winner of a certain category of a certain year tells the reader exactly who you are. And that is a very bad idea. If you were to go on a date with a woman who turned out to be a freakish stalker, if you turned her down, you would have given her all the information she needed to stalk you.

A simple Google search will tell anyone who was the winner of the Emmy for that category for that year, so by including that information, not only does it sound like boasting, but you are effectively stating your real name in your profile and giving away your identity to perfect strangers. That is not a safe thing to do online.

(I'm paranoid like that, due to certain experiences of my own).

Anyway I hope it all goes well and you find your perfect other half.

I think his profile is interesting.

His pics show interesting things he's actively DOING.


He should remove those silly explanations and put better pics.

OP, try to put some pics without glasses, I myself estimate (based on girls' reactions0 that I look 80% less attractive with glasses (yet I have to wear them 90% of the time ).

Now that's just mean. He may not have the look that all or most women go for, but he looks very nice to me and I'm sure there are many women out there who are attracted to his one particular type.

As mentioned, he is an endurance runner, and when you are a runner you have a slender frame. There's nothing wrong with a muscular yet slender frame. Many women admire male athletes who can run for miles and miles...

Maybe you could make a little joke about your wonderful endurance in your profile, Brian. Something like this:

"I am an endurance runner, which means I have a slender yet muscular build. I may not be fast, but my endurance means I sure can keep going for a long time. I can go on and on and on and on and on and on all night - oops, I mean all day. Well, actually, both."

A little joke like that would make your profile very funny, and implying that you have physical endurance would be something that would make the ladies very interested indeed.

lol

I didn't mean it literally. Anyone can look at his picture and see that he isn't Spielberg. It was a joke intended to cheer him up by implying that one day he could be a very famous film-maker.

I don't know about the 4th photo where you are disassembling a camera.
You're out of focus and the other guy who is cuter than you is stealing the spotlight.
And the 2nd and 3rd photos should be at the end. Women want to see what you look like so put the ones you're in first.

I think the written profile itself is good. Just get some better photos of yourself.

lol