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What is your Relationship Status?
Single 62%  62%  [ 77 ]
In a relationship 19%  19%  [ 24 ]
Engaged 2%  2%  [ 3 ]
Married 7%  7%  [ 9 ]
It's complicated 5%  5%  [ 6 ]
It's an open relationship 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Windowed 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Separated 2%  2%  [ 3 ]
Divorced 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 125

johnny77
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06 Jan 2013, 11:43 pm

Its complicated. So is life. :lol:



Sparrow40k
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06 Jan 2013, 11:48 pm

Cuckooflower wrote:
Sparrow40k wrote:
Cuckooflower wrote:
Sparrow40k wrote:
Going by the poll results, I was suprised - A lot of aspies are single


You're surprised a lot of Aspies are single?! !

Singledom is one of the more common curses of being autistic, that many Aspies share. You are lucky to have someone (assuming you're Aspie), especially at your age (16?). You really are, be grateful. I'm sure you are, but just saying. A LOT of Aspies are deprived of affection and intimacy, sometimes for life. Just search the forum.


Yeah I had thought that it would be more difficult for Aspies to find someone, and yeah I guess I am extremely lucky then - I am 100% Aspie :)


You are lucky. I don't begrudge you, I tell you because I want you to hang onto it and enjoy it. You may not know it, but it's precious.

I am 25 and I've been very deprived of intimacy. But search the forum, and you'll find much older lifelong singles who have given up. It's just a sad fact of having this kind of problem; with autism, if the environment isn't right, you may never make it to that point of meeting someone and developing something that works physically and emotionally. It's harsh.


Wow, I always knew it was very hard (It's been hard for me until I met my girlfriend) but I never really looked at it like that; How some people have actually given up on love now...
I actually can't imagine my life without my girl. She is really that special someone! Not long after going out she learned as much as she could about Asperger's to try and better understand me.

It's kinda sad to me knowing that there are so many people on here that still haven't met that special someone to be with and maybe never will...


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BlueMax
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07 Jan 2013, 1:47 am

InnaLucia wrote:
In a relationship for 16 months.


Congrats! :thumright:

I'm still separated... not many interesting prospects close to home these days.



hale_bopp
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07 Jan 2013, 1:58 am

Single... always single.



9of47
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07 Jan 2013, 4:20 am

Single, for about 13 months now. I have been in 4 relationships and I guess taking a break of more than 6 months between the last one and a future relationship could be a good thing. If any of my fwbs were not in a committed relationship I probably wouldn't be as worried about this as I currently am.


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Adam82
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07 Jan 2013, 4:31 am

Single, and always have been. No girlfriends.

It's quite a common state of affairs for Aspies. I am glad you found someone though, OP. Hang onto it, you're extremely lucky.



Sparrow40k
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07 Jan 2013, 10:44 pm

Adam82 wrote:
Single, and always have been. No girlfriends.

It's quite a common state of affairs for Aspies. I am glad you found someone though, OP. Hang onto it, you're extremely lucky.


I know; I really am. I'm planning on holding her forever.

You will find someone one day, You just have to get out there and find that special someone


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BanjoGirl
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08 Jan 2013, 7:56 am

Sometimes the "boyfriend/girlfriend piece" takes a long time to show up.

Image


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Radiofixr
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08 Jan 2013, 11:52 am

Sparrow40k wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Single, and always have been. No girlfriends.

It's quite a common state of affairs for Aspies. I am glad you found someone though, OP. Hang onto it, you're extremely lucky.


I know; I really am. I'm planning on holding her forever.

You will find someone one day, You just have to get out there and find that special someone



Yes in my case I will probably end up finding that person on my deathbed and not have any strength for anything-thats an extreme example but its what I fear-and going out there time after time and being rejected only reinforces not wanting to go out there and try-and if you should be rejected in a very hurtful way wont help and make you more likely not want to go out there at all ever again-its rough when your self esteem in low to begin with. People that say keep trying generally have a person to be with and its easy for someone-NT or on the spectrum to say get out there and keep trying but they arent the ones having to do that at that moment-it is easy to tell someone what to do or give advice you do not follow yourself but it is a different matter to actually do it or be the one giving advice to do it and they themselves don't follow their own advice-not taking away from those who have had success but it is tough to keep trying and trying and getting no where at all after years of trying.


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invisiblem0nsters
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08 Jan 2013, 3:03 pm

It's complicated

I have a FWB and we're exclusive... we cuddle, kiss, hold hands, however we don't do this in public as we are in the same class in college :I and the L word has never been used


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Kinme
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08 Jan 2013, 5:51 pm

I am not surprised by the statistics of this thread.



BlueMax
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08 Jan 2013, 6:09 pm

Neither am I.... but I AM surprised that some of the most seemingly social, attractive and pleasant members are also single!



bruinsy33
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08 Jan 2013, 7:45 pm

Sparrow40k wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
Single, and always have been. No girlfriends.

It's quite a common state of affairs for Aspies. I am glad you found someone though, OP. Hang onto it, you're extremely lucky.


I know; I really am. I'm planning on holding her forever.

You will find someone one day, You just have to get out there and find that special someone
Obviously ,it's not that simple to say 'get out there and find that special someone'',if it was that simplistic,we all would be out there finding soul mates. One has to find the situation that might work for you ,given the limitations of having AS in an NT world.I could go out to my local bar every night of the week and likely NEVER be capable of meeting someone in that kind of environment.



Kinme
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09 Jan 2013, 5:38 am

BlueMax wrote:
Neither am I.... but I AM surprised that some of the most seemingly social, attractive and pleasant members are also single!


It just proves that one's appearance isn't always an absolute guarantee that they'll have successful relationships- unless they're only looking for sex and such. :0



Radiofixr
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09 Jan 2013, 7:38 am

Well I have people turn away when I walk up to them-another self esteem booster.


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