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billiscool
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09 Feb 2013, 4:57 pm

Yuugiri wrote:
billiscool wrote:
if I was a true scary creepy guy than no woman would ever want to even talk to me ever.

Black and white thinking.

billiscool wrote:
but of course knowing some people here. You probaly go ''well, they are just pretending to like you, because they are really scared of you''
and of course all the excuse for the older women who don't mind me ''oh, them older women are nice to you, because they aren't threaten by you (me)''

No one has said that.

billiscool wrote:
yes, just because I've might have done bad with some of them young 19 year old women and that one woman I holler at (which I admit isn't the best thing to do) doesn't mean that every single woman hates my guts or think I am some creepy guy.

No one has said this either.

billiscool wrote:
some of you people just don't like the fact, that there are women out there that don't mind talking to me and don't mind hanging out with me.

You are the one who asked us why women get angry when you do certain things. We've given provided you with multiple possibilities. If you were just going to reject them all from the offset, I will echo IlovemyAsipe:

IlovemyAspie wrote:
Then WHAT is the point of this thread????


why some women get angry when I do certain things. There you go, the woman is angry. Not scared.
you are trying to label me as some ''scary creepy guy'' when Im just some ''idiot douchebag'' towards that one
woman I hollered at. and maybe not on this topic but I have had people make excuses for women who don't mind talking to me (oh because she a bf, oh because she older,etc,etc)

there is a difference between being a douchebag and a creepy guy. I can be a douchebag but I am not creepy.
I can be jerk, I can be an idiot, I can get on people nerves. (ask that guy at my work) but I am not creepy.

but being a douchebag, an idiot around women is not good either. and acting like a ''hollering idiot'' around women too
is not good either. But it not being a creep.



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09 Feb 2013, 5:04 pm

so, apparently some members have hit a sore spot. i don't think anyone want to be told that they could be coming across as creepy. on the other hand, unless a person tells you what they are thinking, then you don't know how you are coming across. billiscool, you are assuming a whole lot about how people see you in real life, and you may be correct in your assumptions. and you may be incorrect. we don't know because we weren't there. then again, you are not in women's heads when you talk to them.

BUT you told us a scenario that we could relate to as well, from our own perspectives. so we could tell you how we see the people who behave like that. perhaps you would seem different from the many people we have experienced in our lives, but we don't really know - we are not there. you are looking at a lot of accumulated experience in this thread, and simply discounting all of it.

since you offered this story and seemed to want feedback, and that was what people offered. but you have to expect that people are looking at the situation from the opposite perspective. they are not going to tell you what you want to hear (whatever that is), because that will not help you anywhere except in The Haven.


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09 Feb 2013, 5:13 pm

I don't think it's creepy, just really immature and more of an NT thing. I think a lot of guys in this forum try to experiment with NT type behavior to get better results and this type was destined to fail for virtually anybody, it failed for you, and now you've learned something new.


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billiscool
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09 Feb 2013, 5:23 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
so, apparently some members have hit a sore spot. i don't think anyone want to be told that they could be coming across as creepy. on the other hand, unless a person tells you what they are thinking, then you don't know how you are coming across. billiscool, you are assuming a whole lot about how people see you in real life, and you may be correct in your assumptions. and you may be incorrect. we don't know because we weren't there. then again, you are not in women's heads when you talk to them.

BUT you told us a scenario that we could relate to as well, from our own perspectives. so we could tell you how we see the people who behave like that. perhaps you would seem different from the many people we have experienced in our lives, but we don't really know - we are not there. you are looking at a lot of accumulated experience in this thread, and simply discounting all of it.

since you offered this story and seemed to want feedback, and that was what people offered. but you have to expect that people are looking at the situation from the opposite perspective. they are not going to tell you what you want to hear (whatever that is), because that will not help you anywhere except in The Haven.


in u.s we have a hardcore republican and everything they don't care for they just label as being ''liberal'' you know muslims,gays, democrats,hippes,communist,fascist,rock music are all ''liberal'' to them.

so being called ''creepy'' now a day has no real meaning. a guy can say ''hi'' yep he's creepy. a guy can just look at a woman,
yep he's creepy. Guy can hollering at girl like an idiot, yep he's creepy.

in the past you had guys who were jerks, who were idiots, who were nerds, who were ugly, who were boring, who were wimps
and the past they were called that.''oh that guy a nerd'' ''oh that guy's boring'' ''oh, that guy strange''
but now a day every guy a women doesn't like is now ''creepy''

it like the hardcore republicans trying make muslims,communist,and gay rights as the same thing, when cleary they are not.

I remember them days. when the creepy guy were actual were the guys who seriously scared women, the one's that attack women,
sexualy grab women, say very sexual things towards women (want to see my c---, can I touch your v---) and flash women their private parts.

and the guys like me, and the shy guy, the geeky guys, the social akward guys were just seen as loser,boring, idiot,jerks
but not as creepy. Lord I miss them days. Being called a loser or a geek is not cool either but it's alot better than being label as creepy and dangerous.



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09 Feb 2013, 5:28 pm

Then knock it off!! It ain't workin' for ya!



Janissy
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09 Feb 2013, 5:37 pm

billiscool wrote:
spongy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
billiscool wrote:
I told you women are not scared of me. They think Im a wimp.


You have NO way of knowing that... you're projecting YOUR thoughts onto them.

If you've read the posts from many of our lady WP members, a LOT of them live in constant fear that men, burly or scrawny, will attack them without provocation at any time.


nope, women are not scared me. trust me. I have never once had a woman run away from me. women might be scared of other men out there. but there is no way that any women could ever be scared me. If I actual tried to scare a woman, she would just laugh in my face. women and(men as well) think Im a wimp. it annoying because I am not. I guess I come across as a wimp to alot of people.


When someone is scared of you they arent likely to run away from you(if you were a threat to them you could easily catch them in their mind) what they do is they get angry or they start giving one word responses hoping the interaction ends asap.
Which seems to describe quite a lot of your interactions bill


catch them in their mind? what does that mean, I am not a wizard....

I don't know, some of them 19 year old gym employee I tried hittin on looked more annoyed than scared.
and that one lady I hollered at, look pissed off not scared. I have no idea where you people getting this whole scared thing at?
I admit that I may come across as being ''an annoying douchebag'' around certain women (younger one's) but not as a scary creepy guy. I think some of these 19 year olds were more like ''omg, will this jerk stop talking to me, I don't care about f--- adam sandler,sh**'' which mean they are more annoyed than scared.

and that one ''holler at'' lady was more like ''oh,gee another douchebag hollering at me, sh-t hate them guys, can't they just leave me alone'' meaning being more annoying than scary


Just popping in to explain why spongy is right. Some women use an anger response when scared of a man. I am one of them. It is exactly like a cornered cat that raises its' fur when threatened. The rationale behind responding with anger when scared is that it shows the man that I am not an easy victim and will fight back. I don't know if women who do this think it through quite so much, but that's how it has been for me. There are men out there who are turned on by a woman's fear. So showing that fear is a huge mistake. Myself and many other women react with anger so as to show the man that we are not going to be a "fun" victim for them.



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09 Feb 2013, 5:39 pm

How to make a woman angry just shout daaamn woman you have a nice rack! After that get ready to run like hell!


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JanuaryMan
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09 Feb 2013, 5:41 pm

bill just a question - if you acknowledge that so many people see certain behaviour is creepy, then why do you think it's such a good idea to act it out anyway?



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09 Feb 2013, 5:53 pm

Janissy wrote:
Just popping in to explain why spongy is right. Some women use an anger response when scared of a man. I am one of them. It is exactly like a cornered cat that raises its' fur when threatened. The rationale behind responding with anger when scared is that it shows the man that I am not an easy victim and will fight back. I don't know if women who do this think it through quite so much, but that's how it has been for me. There are men out there who are turned on by a woman's fear. So showing that fear is a huge mistake. Myself and many other women react with anger so as to show the man that we are not going to be a "fun" victim for them.

that's interesting that it may be a common experience.

i am curious how other people react to fear. i stay outwardly calm, and become highly persuasive (i am not normally like that, something just clicks in my head). sometimes i am assertive as well, but never aggressive even when threatened.


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billiscool
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09 Feb 2013, 6:10 pm

Janissy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
spongy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
billiscool wrote:
I told you women are not scared of me. They think Im a wimp.


You have NO way of knowing that... you're projecting YOUR thoughts onto them.

If you've read the posts from many of our lady WP members, a LOT of them live in constant fear that men, burly or scrawny, will attack them without provocation at any time.


nope, women are not scared me. trust me. I have never once had a woman run away from me. women might be scared of other men out there. but there is no way that any women could ever be scared me. If I actual tried to scare a woman, she would just laugh in my face. women and(men as well) think Im a wimp. it annoying because I am not. I guess I come across as a wimp to alot of people.


When someone is scared of you they arent likely to run away from you(if you were a threat to them you could easily catch them in their mind) what they do is they get angry or they start giving one word responses hoping the interaction ends asap.
Which seems to describe quite a lot of your interactions bill


catch them in their mind? what does that mean, I am not a wizard....

I don't know, some of them 19 year old gym employee I tried hittin on looked more annoyed than scared.
and that one lady I hollered at, look pissed off not scared. I have no idea where you people getting this whole scared thing at?
I admit that I may come across as being ''an annoying douchebag'' around certain women (younger one's) but not as a scary creepy guy. I think some of these 19 year olds were more like ''omg, will this jerk stop talking to me, I don't care about f--- adam sandler,sh**'' which mean they are more annoyed than scared.

and that one ''holler at'' lady was more like ''oh,gee another douchebag hollering at me, sh-t hate them guys, can't they just leave me alone'' meaning being more annoying than scary


Just popping in to explain why spongy is right. Some women use an anger response when scared of a man. I am one of them. It is exactly like a cornered cat that raises its' fur when threatened. The rationale behind responding with anger when scared is that it shows the man that I am not an easy victim and will fight back. I don't know if women who do this think it through quite so much, but that's how it has been for me. There are men out there who are turned on by a woman's fear. So showing that fear is a huge mistake. Myself and many other women react with anger so as to show the man that we are not going to be a "fun" victim for them.


there is huge difference between some guy hollering at a woman and some guy seriously trying to harm a woman.
there is a difference between a woman who is angry and scared and a woman who is angry and annoyed.
so everytime a guy gets a woman mad that mean she's scared now?
so every girl i ever gotten mad at me were just scared of me?
so if I yell out at a woman ''hey you suck'' and she gets mad, does that mean she scared of me?



Last edited by billiscool on 09 Feb 2013, 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

billiscool
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09 Feb 2013, 6:19 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
bill just a question - if you acknowledge that so many people see certain behaviour is creepy, then why do you think it's such a good idea to act it out anyway?


because they are wrong. Hollering at a girl is not creepy. it more being annoying, being a douchebag.
if people were telling me that radical islam and gay rights are the same thing. I would correct them and tell them there is
a difference between radical islam and gay rights.



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09 Feb 2013, 6:24 pm

billiscool wrote:
there is huge difference between some guy hollering at a woman and some guy seriously trying to harm a woman.
there is a difference between a woman who is angry and scared and a woman who is angry and annoyed.
so everytime a guy gets a woman mad that mean she's scared now?
so every girl i ever gotten mad at me were just scared of me?
so if I yell out at a woman ''hey you suck'' and she gets mad, does that mean she scared of me?

Because clearly, even saying that there's a chance that anger could be a front for someone's fear is painting them all with the same broad broad brush. Bill, you seem to be fundamentally misunderstanding what we are attempting to convey to you. Perhaps you should take your rant elsewhere?

EDIT: How do I keep on getting the top post? lol


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Last edited by Yuugiri on 09 Feb 2013, 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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09 Feb 2013, 6:25 pm

billiscool wrote:
[there is huge difference between some guy hollering at a woman and some guy seriously trying to harm a woman.
there is a difference between a woman who is angry and scared and a woman who is angry and annoyed.
so everytime a guy gets a woman mad that mean she's scared now?
so every girl i ever gotten mad at me were just scared of me?
so if I yell out at a woman ''hey you suck'' and she gets mad, does that mean she scared of me?


Very few women wait around to see if a man will actually harm them. Lots of women will be proactive and use the anger response when something about a man seems off in a vaguely threatening way. A man who randomly yells out what you yelled out definately would be a situation where many women would feel vaguely threatened. It's an "off" thing to do.

You aren't going to believe me and that's fine. But continuing on with your present tactics will not work for you. As another poster said, imitating the way NT men do things will look "off" to women and they will react accordingly.



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09 Feb 2013, 6:26 pm

Quote:
there is huge difference between some guy hollering at a woman and some guy seriously trying to harm a woman.


There is but how is a woman supposed to tell when a lot of the guys that harm women also start off by hollering at them? There are very few situations where a guy can get away with hollering, and I'm afraid you don't fit into any of them. Try not to do it in future. You made a mistake. Accept it. Learn from it. We aren't a 3rd parent here to tell you bad behaviour is okay so you feel better about what you did. You ask for advice in what is primarily an advice board, and the general consensus is this is not only creepy but at times scary, man.

Quote:
there is a difference between a woman who is angry and scared and a woman who is angry and annoyed.


There is but if you can't tell the difference yourself, what good is this piece of information? Or if you can tell the difference, why are you denying what is happening in front of you? What you did was scary to a lot of women given your current circumstances, and is not something generally advised even amongst the more fortunate of guys to do. You made a mistake. Accept it. Learn from it. And so on.

Quote:
so everytime a guy gets a woman mad that mean she's scared now?


No, of course not. It depends on what you do. And what you did is seen as scary behaviour unless you're a largely desirable male with a lot of charm.

Quote:
so every girl i ever gotten mad at me were just scared of me?


Maybe not every one, but if you do this sort of stuff a lot then probably a good number of them were scared.

Quote:
so if I yell out at a woman ''hey you suck'' and she gets mad, does that mean she scared of me?


It depends what went down (I mean what happened exactly). If it was a case of they were already "mad" at something you did or when you went near them, they were probably even more scared.

I'm not trying to put you down, bill. I'm just saying all these "tactics" as it were to find a date or woman aren't working for you. Try something else for your own safety. Eventually one of the girls is going to go into self-defence mode if you use these approach methods as an Aspie and you don't deserve it. So just look at how a lot of couples tend to hook up and think about that rather than focusing on techniques. What I'm saying is look at when where and how people normally hook up rather than questioning why they hook up or what techniques were used to seal the deal. I think from doing that you will eventually find success.



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09 Feb 2013, 6:26 pm

billiscool wrote:
because they are wrong. Hollering at a girl is not creepy. it more being annoying, being a douchebag.
if people were telling me that radical islam and gay rights are the same thing. I would correct them and tell them there is
a difference between radical islam and gay rights.

I would be creeped out. The idea of someone viewing me in a sexual manner in a way that I can't control terrifies me, whether it's a male or a female doing so.

You know what else is inherently harmless but still creeps people out? Common house spiders.


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09 Feb 2013, 6:28 pm

billiscool wrote:
so here what happen, so I was walking towards the store and this good looking woman was walking on the other side.
I look at her, kinda put my head back and went ''whoaa, dammmm, ohhhh'' and she look at me and got this mad look on her face, and she contintue walking with a pissed off look.

I was giving her that ''yeah you are hot'' look. yeah, maybe I should stop doing that towards women (note: I don't do this towards all women I talk to). but when a good looking woman walk by, I like to acknowledge her.

and why do woman not like that. why when I tell a woman ''damn your hot'' they get mad, why?
or when I give them that ''look''. maybe I should stop doing all these things.

but the one lady above was pissed off. and that one of my weakness with women.


You sounded like you were about to cum.