Overly experienced? Aspie dating?

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How do you like your men?
No experience (virgin) 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
Little experience / Less experience than you 15%  15%  [ 5 ]
Experienced / More experienced than you 21%  21%  [ 7 ]
I'm a guy and I want to see the answers ^^ 59%  59%  [ 20 ]
Total votes : 34

uwmonkdm
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13 Mar 2013, 10:11 pm

So, this is hypothetical of course, I'm not going to actively seek out an AS girlfriend/partner.. although I believe it would be ideal.
but, what I have noticed is that most of them are not very experienced.

Despite my AS I've had quite a few sexual partners, with about 4 years of committed dating, so... a lot of 'contact', so to speak.
In a way, I can see that being a good thing, because I could lead/teach? But... at the same time, I remember what it was like when I was inexperienced, I thought anyone who had like 2 or 3 partners was totally undervaluing intimacy...

So, ladies, how do you feel about this?



MountainLaurel
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13 Mar 2013, 10:58 pm

Quote:
Despite my AS I've had quite a few sexual partners, with about 4 years of committed dating, so... a lot of 'contact', so to speak.
In a way, I can see that being a good thing, because I could lead/teach?

Ugh. I've heard this concept coming from some men before; the idea that they think they're going to teach sexuality/intimacy to inexperienced women.

I honestly don't think there is any need or value in that. Sexual desire and the specific male and female expressions of it are innate and as personal as one's voice or gestures. You think you're going to teach that?

Have you ever observed a 10 or 12 month old baby learning to walk. No one teaches them, they just do it and they can't be stopped from learning to walk because it's innate. Sexuality & it's expression is innate, just like walking.

Sex is a kind of expression within a relationship. He expresses to her and she expresses to him. What is the place of leading/teaching in individual human expression? Doesn't that come from within each individual exclusively and shared with the other?

Are you going to lead her in what she should express to you?



Tyri0n
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13 Mar 2013, 11:37 pm

More experienced. I'm bi, and this poll is heterosexist.

Most girls I know would want someone more experienced. But if they've had 20 or more, then maybe they would cut you a little bit of slack. Having someone who knows what to do and well seems to be more important to girls than it is to guys in many cases.



Schneekugel
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14 Mar 2013, 4:18 am

I couldnt answer the question, because in my opinion this is nothing important. If i want to have a partnership depends on the guy himself, if I can spend a good time together and so on. Sexual experiences you normally talk (in my country) about, when you are already in an partnership, so anyway how much experiences someone has or not, can have no influence on my interest of having a partnership, because anyway I only get to know it afterwards, when the desicion is already done.

But even afterwards I dont know about the importance of that question, so sex is no miracle, so if you have already some experience its ok, and if you dont have, you can learn it afterwards like everything else. Even if you are an experienced person, it wont help you much, because every person has its own preferences you need to know. What use do I have of a person, with broad experience how to make another person happy? ^^

Edit: So sorry, I am no guy, but because of the missing correct answer in your list, I only choose to see the results.



Lilya
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14 Mar 2013, 7:29 am

I'm far more experienced than you are. I don't see it as wise to assume too much simply based on number of partners or amount of "contact".


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blue_bean
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14 Mar 2013, 7:54 am

I don't mind if a guy has little experience just as long as he's not too nervous and awkward. I haven't had that many partners myself.

I was "trained" ie. molded to my first BF's preferences in the ways of teh sex. That's the thing with virgins, it's easy to teach them the way you want them to do it and then you can tell then that that's how sex is supposed to be, because you're their first partner and they're none the wiser.



mercifullyfree
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14 Mar 2013, 4:39 pm

I couldn't enter anything in the poll because I really have no preference on this matter. I've been with people who had a lot of experience or none whatsoever. My current and most long term stable partner was a virgin, but I didn't know that until after we got more involved. It just wasn't a factor. What is more of a factor is someone's attitude about it. If someone with less experience treats me like I'm icky for having more, they can piss off. If someone with more experience tries to give off that smug "I'm an alpha stud!" attitude, it's rather nauseating and they can piss off as well. Both of these are a turn off.



MjrMajorMajor
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15 Mar 2013, 12:57 am

MountainLaurel wrote:

I honestly don't think there is any need or value in that. Sexual desire and the specific male and female expressions of it are innate and as personal as one's voice or gestures. You think you're going to teach that?


I have to agree here. It's not so much about drawing from past experiences as listening to your partner.



Zinnel
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15 Mar 2013, 2:45 am

MountainLaurel wrote:

Have you ever observed a 10 or 12 month old baby learning to walk. No one teaches them, they just do it and they can't be stopped from learning to walk because it's innate. Sexuality & it's expression is innate, just like walking.


Well first off their is nothing innate about walking, its a very "monkey see...monkey do" kind of thing. There have been abuse cases where do to lack human contact a child has trouble crawling let alone walking. As far Sexual expression being innate thats almost impossible to test as you would have to break ALOT of rules of ethics to do so....

Whether not a woman wants a more or less experienced parter seems to be(going off the women I know) heavily tied to their own level of self-confidence. Basicly if their self-confidence has as many holes as the plot in the movie Prometheus, then their probably going to want to have someone more experienced, but thats a BIG probably....


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