Should I lie about being previously married.

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Should I lie
Yes 11%  11%  [ 4 ]
No 80%  80%  [ 28 ]
Don't know. 9%  9%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 35

Aspie_Chav
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27 Feb 2013, 3:22 pm

Should I lie about being previously married on a dating websites. Why would someone who want to get married choose someone who is nearly 40 and never been married. Being previously married is an indication that a man has intention to get married and good enough catch to get married or both. 40+ never married have 12% chance in getting married and even less of you are black. Could they truly be surprised if such guys do not commit. Reminds me of Charlie Brown who is always surprised when Lucy snatches the football away and let him full on his back.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsSXMT0NrB4[/youtube]



Stargazer43
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27 Feb 2013, 3:38 pm

Starting out with a lie is never a good thing. If you end up getting serious with someone off of there, they're bound to find out sooner or later. And I really don't think that being married or not makes that big of a difference in the scheme of things.



Aspie_Chav
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27 Feb 2013, 3:47 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
Starting out with a lie is never a good thing. If you end up getting serious with someone off of there, they're bound to find out sooner or later. And I really don't think that being married or not makes that big of a difference in the scheme of things.


Where children are concerned I would say marriage is vital. Also I would feel that a relationship without marriage is too weak a relationship, so any commitment isn't a consideration.



IlovemyAspie
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27 Feb 2013, 4:05 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
Starting out with a lie is never a good thing. If you end up getting serious with someone off of there, they're bound to find out sooner or later. And I really don't think that being married or not makes that big of a difference in the scheme of things.


I agree with this^^^

I would date a guy who has never been married. Maybe he just hasn't found "the one" just yet and he's not willing to just settle for anyone. The only time I would be concerned is if he's had relationships that lasted for years with no marital commitment. Then I'd wonder why. But that's just me. I do want to be married and I don't like the idea of living with someone long term. But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.



Aspie_Chav
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27 Feb 2013, 4:22 pm

IlovemyAspie wrote:
But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.


Unfortunately, if this continues to 40 then it would continue long beyond. Who would wait until they reach the dark ages of dating.



IlovemyAspie
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27 Feb 2013, 5:01 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.


Unfortunately, if this continues to 40 then it would continue long beyond. Who would wait until they reach the dark ages of dating.


My coworker. She didn't get married until she was in her fortys. She hadn't found "the one".



lostonearth35
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27 Feb 2013, 6:37 pm

Dating websites are stupid, evil, and a haven for serial rapists, murderers, and just plain creepy guys pretending to be Mr. Right or 18-year-old girls. But I think it might be fun to "experiment" a little on them, be as honest and truthful as I can (which of course, would make me about as desirable as camel spittle) be and see what "dreamy" guys I may see who are available. Forever alone? Whatever. :P



Aspie_Chav
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28 Feb 2013, 12:53 am

IlovemyAspie wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.


Unfortunately, if this continues to 40 then it would continue long beyond. Who would wait until they reach the dark ages of dating.


My coworker. She didn't get married until she was in her fortys. She hadn't found "the one".


Many rare thing happen happen all the time, until you look for a specific rare thing How many more do you know in same situation. I am sure there a plenty of woman who respond well love a black man who has never marred. But do I want such woman, I probably dated a few. There are too many polar opposites.



IlovemyAspie
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28 Feb 2013, 1:17 am

Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.


Unfortunately, if this continues to 40 then it would continue long beyond. Who would wait until they reach the dark ages of dating.


My coworker. She didn't get married until she was in her fortys. She hadn't found "the one".


Many rare thing happen happen all the time, until you look for a specific rare thing How many more do you know in same situation. I am sure there a plenty of woman who respond well love a black man who has never marred. But do I want such woman, I probably dated a few. There are too many polar opposites.


I know of 4 men in my office in their mid to late 30's who never married. No too uncommon.



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28 Feb 2013, 1:34 am

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Aspie_Chav
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01 Mar 2013, 2:55 am

IlovemyAspie wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
IlovemyAspie wrote:
But he just dated and never found the one that felt right, then that's actually a good thing. It means he doesn't take marriage lightly.


Unfortunately, if this continues to 40 then it would continue long beyond. Who would wait until they reach the dark ages of dating.


My coworker. She didn't get married until she was in her fortys. She hadn't found "the one".


Many rare thing happen happen all the time, until you look for a specific rare thing How many more do you know in same situation. I am sure there a plenty of woman who respond well love a black man who has never marred. But do I want such woman, I probably dated a few. There are too many polar opposites.


I know of 4 men in my office in their mid to late 30's who never married. No too uncommon.


Do you know anyone other then your friend who had their first marriage in their 40s. These are the rare folk I am looking for.



HauntedKnight
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01 Mar 2013, 4:25 am

I think there are plenty of people these days who choose not to get married, so I wouldn't think it unusual. I think if you lie initially, it will be difficult later on to 'come clean' and admit the truth.



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01 Mar 2013, 5:05 am

Only lie if you are comfortable explaining that lie later on down the road. Lying of any form usually makes a person wonder what else they are lying about...



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01 Mar 2013, 5:50 am

I can see where you're coming from (except for the part about being black, I fail to see the difference between a never married black guy and a never married white guy), why you think it might be a disadvantage. But the thing is, if I caught a partner in that big of a lie (and make no mistake, you will get caught eventually), I'd leave them. Immediately. And I suspect most people would do the same.

I don't think that you never having been married hurts your chances as much as you think it does. I do think that starting the relationship with a lie that big will absolutely kill your chances of having the healthy committed relationship you seem to want.



aspiesandra27
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01 Mar 2013, 6:56 am

Lying is never really a good idea, imo. If you don't like being lied to, then don't be a hypocrite and lie to someone else.

Especially about something like that.

The guy I was seeing, told me he was married, and then I found him on a social website and his status was as "divorced". When I asked him about it, he said it wasn't him. It was a photo of him, or someone identical (a twin?), with his name, living in the area he lives in, the University that was close to where his parents live, and with the same interests as him.

His age was also a few digits older.

The problem with lies is, when you start, it never stops.