Double Whammy: 30/divorced + AS. Anyone else the same?

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SavageMessiah
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Joined: 16 Aug 2012
Age: 42
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA, US

02 Apr 2013, 2:39 am

Anyone else have trouble finding a date to save your life in my type of scenario? I've got a busy schedule with rotating shifts and sometimes long hours (so I primarily use online dating), but it seems no one out there wants to meet a divorced 30 year old!! I've never had a tremendous amount of trouble attracting at least a few females and can hold conversations fine one-on-one. But as of late I get conversations going, and they always seem to "end" after random lengths of time. I've even been able to exchange phone numbers a few times but they also stop texting. Now I've read the rules about online dating thoroughly, and I know you absolutely cannot lie about your relationship status. And... I don't bring up even the most vague details about the divorce unless asked. If asked I provide a simple 2-3 sentence spiel about how my wife wanted a divorce but didn't file, left me for someone else, and then I had to file.

I've asked to go out on dates and even have been asked out by my counterparts, and still nothing? I even have concert tickets to a couple of big shows coming up, and none of them want a free seat with amenities paid?

I just wonder what the deal is. It's very sad too because around 30 there are a vast number of young professionals in my area such as
nurses, etc. whom have been tied up with career plans and are finally looking to settle down. But I can't seem to identify what exactly they are looking for in a man. Additionally, the mutual rebound thing is a bust too since I don't get anywhere with other divorced women whom are supposedly looking for the same things I am.

Anyhow after a couple months on OKC and POF I disabled my profiles out of frustration. I don't understand why people act like they want to meet but then don't.


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AQ: 42
aspie-quiz: 151 / 47


Wolfheart
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02 Apr 2013, 4:27 am

Keep trying, don't give up faith and sign up to local groups and social activities with a positive attitude. You need to seek actively and not just on dating websites but through other groups as well.



wotsits
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02 Apr 2013, 5:46 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Keep trying, don't give up faith and sign up to local groups and social activities with a positive attitude. You need to seek actively and not just on dating websites but through other groups as well.


Good advice! If online dating is not working for you, try elsewhere or different websites. Just one other point - how long ago was your divorce? Some people might be a bit put off by the idea that you have 'baggage', whereas if they met you in person and you explained it then it might not seem such an issue.



Claradoon
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02 Apr 2013, 8:55 am

You might want to try volunteer work, virtual or real -

http://www.volunteermatch.org/

You can put your zip code and it'll give you volunteer opportunities. Lotsa people there.



SavageMessiah
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Joined: 16 Aug 2012
Age: 42
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA, US

03 Apr 2013, 2:32 pm

Thanks all! I was definitely headed in the group direction. At least there I can get face time with someone I like and they're not very likely to run away... haha


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AQ: 42
aspie-quiz: 151 / 47