Do girls find it extra hot when big guys bully small guys?

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LyraLuthTinu
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11 Jun 2016, 4:09 pm

314pe wrote:
LyraLuthTinu wrote:
So I can't speak for neurotypical women, or for other personality types. I'm sure there are women who get off on seeing males they like pummel weaker males. But I do not understand such attraction, and to me this kind of behavior seems sociopathic more than anything else.

So in a hypothetical situation if you saw one guy bully another one, you would pick a bullied guy over a bully, right?


Hard to say. I'm not great with hypothetical situations, and I am no where near looking for a guy. When I have gotten into relationships it was always because a persistent guy kept directly requesting my company, not because I set my sights on a guy and set out to garner his attention.

So I've never "picked a guy," bully or not. Guys pick me.

That said the first guy could have been called a bully himself, though he always seemed to have "social justice" rationalizations for his bullying. A bullyer of bullies, as it were.

NThubby with whom I am now, I never saw him in any physical altercation, but to hear him talk he was more than capable of holding his own. Apparently when he was a young man he would deliberately pick fights in bars if he was a little drunk, when he was a kid he would beat up other kids because he was bullied for having what is usually considered a girl's name, he got beat up himself a few times but became capable of defending himself. I think if I'd ever seen any of this I'd likely have been less attracted to him, regardless of which end he came off of the fight--trouncer or trounced.

The first guy I went with, I never saw him fighting with anyone either. I only heard his stories. Probably guys don't much like to tell stories of when they got the worst of a physical fight, amiright?

Anyway my basic point is I've never picked a guy myself, so I don't know which I'd be more likely to pick, a bully or a bullied guy. I don't think I'd deliberately pick a guy I'd seen bullying others, though. I might want to comfort a bully victim, but I don't know if that would become a lasting relationship. I'd more likely pick a guy I'd never seen involved in a physical fight. Because as I said from the start, I don't like physical hand-to-hand violence. It makes me want to get away, far away.


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CockneyRebel
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12 Jun 2016, 8:28 am

I find that to be a huge turnoff. I don't find showing off of any kind to be a big turn on. I'm also big and strong enough to protect myself against predators.


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Blah123
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15 Jun 2016, 2:21 am

This discussion doesnt have any real value or point since most of females here will deny it since it isnt socially acceptable. It would be something similar if you asked people would they buy an ice cream for themselves or give few euros to homeless person sitting on the street who was hungry for days. I can assure you answers would differ from actions in that situation a big time.

We all subconsciously know the answer assuming the "bully" you are talking about isnt some kind of brutal ape type but a guy that hurts and mocks people in the witty way most of the time since its seen as confident,funny and so on. Ofcourse not all girls like them, particularly the ones that was being bullied themselves but again they are divided even further into ones that developed various fetishes from it and so on.



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07 Aug 2019, 1:11 am

Beware. If the man is a bully you don't want him in your life because sooner or later he will bully you and it could be dangerous; putting you in the hospital or even the morgue. Even if he does not, he will probably have a personality disorder which will impel him to break your spirit if you have to live with him.
Powerful people who compete their way up any pecking order must never be trusted, for our own good they must be shunned like registered sex offenders before giving them a chance to destroy your right to be yourself thereupon destroying everything you treasure in your life. Do not be taken in by their charm. Consider watching the Joseph Losey movie of Mozart's Don Giovanni and see how selfish and dangerous they are.



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07 Aug 2019, 1:16 am

No. Grow up. Women in their 30s and 40s aren't into that. Teenagers are and they also pick their mates based on it too. By the time someone is 40 if they are reasonably intelligent then even if they're NT they have outgrown that phase of caring more about being cool than being nice or being themselves.


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Rainbow_Belle
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07 Aug 2019, 3:50 am

That is exactly how the world works. It is Social Darwinism, survival of the fittest. The strongest males get what they want and the weak males go home alone.



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07 Aug 2019, 4:12 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
That is exactly how the world works. It is Social Darwinism, survival of the fittest. The strongest males get what they want and the weak males go home alone.

How about a bullying pattern in my brother's class, where a small, skinny, shrewd guy subdued all the big beefcakes? Even in the "social darvinist" setting, brains can win with muscle.

Not to mention that social darvinist model is way oversimplifying when ignoring importance of cooperation.

I find bullying deeply wrong and I don't get why English-speaking culture seems to accept it to such an extent. Mine doesn't.


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07 Aug 2019, 5:00 am

I can buy, that is have hope the majority of women outgrow tolerating men who bully them or anyone else as unfit for families. Social Darwinism, instincts rendered obsolete by evolution from lower life forms into humans, is an excuse by those who know how to quote it, otherwise it is pure selfishness glorified by teaching the losers to blame themselves for not being ruthless enough to bully someone else into losing in their place under a Machiavellian pecking order which suppresses rebellion by forcing those below to compete against each other rather than gang up on and defeat the unjust power of their oppressors.
We have the free will (Heisenberg indeterminacy of electron transitions in the chemical reactions in the brain manifesting consciousness) and the responsibility it implies to be more human than to live by pecking orders.



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07 Aug 2019, 7:47 am

I'd imagine that if this does appeal to some women, it does so because it is a display of social and perhaps physical dominance.



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07 Aug 2019, 11:31 pm

A man can be an Alpha and not be an a$$hole. Bullying and harassment is a-hole behaviour and hell no it's not hot. It's despicable and disgusting. If some one has to assert power over another to establish dominance they aren't really powerful, just pathetic.

Humans may be animals but we have certain capabilities most other animals do not, or are simply not as developed. Because humans are, supposedly, more 'evolved'. To say we are all simply slaves to our animalistic makeup is damn insulting.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Aug 2019, 11:38 pm

I hope this question was meant as a joke. The answer is no.



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07 Aug 2019, 11:42 pm

Alterity wrote:
A man can be an Alpha and not be an a$$hole. Bullying and harassment is a-hole behaviour and hell no it's not hot. It's despicable and disgusting. If some one has to assert power over another to establish dominance they aren't really powerful, just pathetic.

Humans may be animals but we have certain capabilities most other animals do not, or are simply not as developed. Because humans are, supposedly, more 'evolved'. To say we are all simply slaves to our animalistic makeup is damn insulting.



What is an Alpha? Women on this site usually deny the existence of this term so I would like to see your definition.



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07 Aug 2019, 11:54 pm

Of what I remember from school.... physically aggressive bullies were not the most popular guys among girls. The ones who were REALLY popular (and you can easily tell that by the frequency of girls talking to them and giggling with them, it's so extremely easy to tell) were the handsome guys, I remember this Robert Pattinson lookalike classmate who was very popular, and in other years there was this handsome+brilliant classmate; both were not the violent types but I recall sometimes they verbally got sarcastic at me in front of their fangirls - that would be called verbal bullying no?



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08 Aug 2019, 1:16 am

When others put people down below them who are vulnerable, to assert their social position, I find them gross. At the same time, those people have their own problems. Everyone is vulnerable to it at some point.


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08 Aug 2019, 6:11 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What is an Alpha? Women on this site usually deny the existence of this term so I would like to see your definition.

That's weird. An Alpha is the socially dominate being. How they reach that status can vary and has more variations when you look at species and gender. Some do get to the Alpha status through physical or psychological aggression, but it's not a requirement when you're talking about humans. I would say it's more to do with personality traits that mark an alpha type. Your alpha tends to be the first person to step up if something needs to be done. On the outside they will show determination and confidence with their decisions and what they do.

There is a bit of a trouble when one is put in a position of power. Lets say you have an alpha individual who generally has good conduct. After being in that position and via the peer pressure of the followers, there could be a decline in their conduct because although they are 'lead', they are susceptible to acting in ways they think may please the ones granting them the power. They can also get cocky. Absolute power can corrupt absolutely. When it comes to working towards a goal or in a group, it tends to be better to have Alpha personalities that can work in conjugation together, rather than them competing over supremacy.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Aug 2019, 12:32 am

Alterity wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What is an Alpha? Women on this site usually deny the existence of this term so I would like to see your definition.

That's weird. An Alpha is the socially dominate being. How they reach that status can vary and has more variations when you look at species and gender. Some do get to the Alpha status through physical or psychological aggression, but it's not a requirement when you're talking about humans. I would say it's more to do with personality traits that mark an alpha type. Your alpha tends to be the first person to step up if something needs to be done. On the outside they will show determination and confidence with their decisions and what they do.

There is a bit of a trouble when one is put in a position of power. Lets say you have an alpha individual who generally has good conduct. After being in that position and via the peer pressure of the followers, there could be a decline in their conduct because although they are 'lead', they are susceptible to acting in ways they think may please the ones granting them the power. They can also get cocky. Absolute power can corrupt absolutely. When it comes to working towards a goal or in a group, it tends to be better to have Alpha personalities that can work in conjugation together, rather than them competing over supremacy.


What's weird? Their denial of obvious things? You got to be used to it already.

The human species, as a whole, was extremely an Alpha-male driven and patriarchal species, even more than other cousin primates. https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-r ... ve-success , Christianity which had somehow standardized the monogamous marriage (and even influenced other religions like Hinduism and Islam in that) is a recent thing in the humankind timeline you know.

But yeah, let them keep denying that the Alpha man is a thing in human species, whatever floats their boat ha.