Fugly dude gets the hot chick: Media skews male perspective

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Kezzstar
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27 Apr 2013, 4:25 pm

It's not just about the looks though, otherwise my ex and I wouldn't have been together. I don't think I paid him too much attention until he actually spoke to me, and I don't know what happened but I was reduced to a giggling little schoolgirl. We probably were the "beauty and the beast" couple to those on the outside (and towards the end it turned into Cinderella, with me in the title role! Still haven't asked out Prince Charming yet though...).


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DialAForAwesome
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27 Apr 2013, 6:01 pm

appletheclown wrote:
Me and wolfheart may not be be fugly, nor fat, but I think we both know you have to live life a happy camper or else everyone will think your a grumpy old troll. If you are a troll, at least be chivalrous, kind, gentle, and able to protect the ladies you do attract, that will make you a good man.


Idealistic. It doesn't work this way, I'm afraid.

At least not in Ohio. If any ladies here are worried that they're too much of a "plain Jane" as someone put it, come to Ohio and I guarantee you'll find a b/f if you really want one.

Guys, however, if they're even a little bit under average, they struggle like hell here.


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appletheclown
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27 Apr 2013, 6:50 pm

DialAForAwesome wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
Me and wolfheart may not be be fugly, nor fat, but I think we both know you have to live life a happy camper or else everyone will think your a grumpy old troll. If you are a troll, at least be chivalrous, kind, gentle, and able to protect the ladies you do attract, that will make you a good man.


Idealistic. It doesn't work this way, I'm afraid.

At least not in Ohio. If any ladies here are worried that they're too much of a "plain Jane" as someone put it, come to Ohio and I guarantee you'll find a b/f if you really want one.

Guys, however, if they're even a little bit under average, they struggle like hell here.


Unless everyone is a walking talking adonis where you live, then the girls were you live are pickier than beverly hills supermodels.


And I didn't mean in any way It would get results. I said it would make you a good man, that is at least what you should do if you can't get anyone at all. The world has enough grumpy trolls to deal with.

And it wasn't Idealistic, it was what I make of this topic, and what in my opinion makes me content. If a woman doesn't want as high a quality a guy as me, fine, it is her loss. Doesn't mean I wont keep people from mugging her instead of standing and watching like the rest of the crowd, or anything like that, it's just the right thing to do.


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MXH
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27 Apr 2013, 7:23 pm

Didn't work for quasimodo



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27 Apr 2013, 11:04 pm

MXH wrote:
Didn't work for quasimodo


That thought was in my head... most of these "heroes" were at least "average" looking, not repulsive like Quasi. I think Belle was more likely to kiss Beast after being restored to a handsome prince - otherwise it may have been a more "family" type of love...

I seem to recall some pudgy/robust/obese sidekick women getting men.

Then again... even this guy found someone nice (interestingly - nicer-looking than he is...)
[img][600:400]http://images5.fanpop.com/image/polls/952000/952463_1329252333491_full.jpg[/img]



Last edited by BlueMax on 27 Apr 2013, 11:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PsychoSarah
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27 Apr 2013, 11:11 pm

You also have to think of the dynamics of the time period for Quasimodo. At that point in time, the deformed were believed to be touched by the devil, which would, in such a religious time, demolish any chances at relationships. He could have been attractive, and he still would have been avoided at all costs.



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27 Apr 2013, 11:15 pm

PsychoSarah wrote:
You also have to think of the dynamics of the time period for Quasimodo. At that point in time, the deformed were believed to be touched by the devil, which would, in such a religious time, demolish any chances at relationships. He could have been attractive, and he still would have been avoided at all costs.


...not always - sometimes the kings would keep one as a good luck charm.

"Gobbo Luck Charm"



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27 Apr 2013, 11:17 pm

More like as something to make fun of.



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27 Apr 2013, 11:39 pm

appletheclown wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I do think many guys on the spectrum are going for girls out of their league and overlooking ones that might be more suitable for them and this is why many of these guys are unsuccessful. They are placing unfair expectations on women and their partners and this is unrealistic.


Exactly, and not actually owning up to their expectations and going after these women that are out of their league makes it even harder than that. I mean if you do have high standards and enjoy women out of your league, you have to let them know you are the better guy somehow by actually going after them right?


I know many guys on here want a supermodel girlfriend that is going to be like a second mother to them and cater to every need instead of going for someone that is more realistic and helps them to grow. They care about their own demands when it comes to a relationship and not realizing that a relationship is something that is a two way street and should involve mutual involvement, respect and love.

Just in the same way Boo mentioned how there are girls who use dating websites and how they have an overwhelming amount of choice versus an attractive girl that only gets to know people through her close social circle and gets approached a couple of times a week. I meet guys on here who only use online dating as a source to meet other people and that's wrong, they should use other mediums to meet people like art classes, gym classes or other social activities because that's what really pushes you out of your comfort zone and gets you socializing with others.



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27 Apr 2013, 11:48 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There has been a trend of wp threads/posts accusing that guys here are being too picky and only wanting supermodels and princesses hence why they're failing, on what basis you're saying that?


I'm not talking in terms of looks and leagues, I am talking in terms of relationships, many guys on here think that being physically attractive or even finding a relationship will be a panacea for all of their problems. Being in a relationship involves even more maturity and responsibility, it requires constant tending and watering like a plant.

Not to mention that many relationships or marriages end up in divorce or end up in negative situations. Men on here should be willing to face their problems, accept responsibility and learn to love themselves before loving another instead of expecting women to do it for them.



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28 Apr 2013, 12:01 am

Wolfheart wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There has been a trend of wp threads/posts accusing that guys here are being too picky and only wanting supermodels and princesses hence why they're failing, on what basis you're saying that?


I'm not talking in terms of looks and leagues, I am talking in terms of relationships, many guys on here think that being physically attractive or even finding a relationship will be a panacea for all of their problems. Being in a relationship involves even more maturity and responsibility, it requires constant tending and watering like a plant.

Not to mention that many relationships or marriages end up in divorce or end up in negative situations. Men on here should be willing to face their problems, accept responsibility and learn to love themselves before loving another instead of expecting women to do it for them.


+1

I do agree with Boo on one thing: OKC sucks. Actually, sexual predators suck. That makes it harder to get girls to meet on OKC and harder for aspies in general. It's not women who are at fault. There is just a reason why they are ridiculously cautious. It's NT sexual predators fueled by the porn industry. I don't see why we (as a global society, legally, not vigilantes) don't just kill them all.



Wolfheart
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28 Apr 2013, 12:25 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There has been a trend of wp threads/posts accusing that guys here are being too picky and only wanting supermodels and princesses hence why they're failing, on what basis you're saying that?


I'm not talking in terms of looks and leagues, I am talking in terms of relationships, many guys on here think that being physically attractive or even finding a relationship will be a panacea for all of their problems. Being in a relationship involves even more maturity and responsibility, it requires constant tending and watering like a plant.

Not to mention that many relationships or marriages end up in divorce or end up in negative situations. Men on here should be willing to face their problems, accept responsibility and learn to love themselves before loving another instead of expecting women to do it for them.


+1

I do agree with Boo on one thing: OKC sucks. Actually, sexual predators suck. That makes it harder to get girls to meet on OKC and harder for aspies in general. It's not women who are at fault. There is just a reason why they are ridiculously cautious. It's NT sexual predators fueled by the porn industry. I don't see why we (as a global society, legally, not vigilantes) don't just kill them all.


There will always be men that are fuelled by lust and the ability to place them on a pedestal based on that lust for women, just in the same way that there will always be gay people. Pushing a problem underground would only repress it and that would mean a regression in society but you are right, liberty does come at a price.

The 'urban Jungle', governments, laws, police, military, by-laws, courts and jail time. All of these things take away the need for any one man to have to be a natural hero to a potential family. That requirement has been left in the hands of the government. Ironically, if a man were to use natural instincts and methods to defend his family, the government would punish him for breaking 'man made laws'.



Last edited by Wolfheart on 28 Apr 2013, 12:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

ezbzbfcg2
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28 Apr 2013, 12:31 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Actually, sexual predators suck. That makes it harder to get girls to meet on OKC and harder for aspies in general. It's not women who are at fault. There is just a reason why they are ridiculously cautious. It's NT sexual predators fueled by the porn industry. I don't see why we (as a global society, legally, not vigilantes) don't just kill them all.


What is a "sexual predator"? Specifically rapists and molesters? Or is it anyone out looking for sex? Going by the broader definition, a ton of people are going to be put to death, even many of us. We've all probably been "sexual predators" in the broadest sense at some point in our lives.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
There has been a trend of wp threads/posts accusing that guys here are being too picky and only wanting supermodels and princesses hence why they're failing, on what basis you're saying that?


This is a good point. Sure, maybe some guys are looking for the really hot princess babe and some idealized fantasy. But I think for most, being rejected even by women in our league or of lesser status is pretty frustrating. But for women, it's less about looks, and more about perceived social status of a man. So if an aspie thinks, "I like that girl. She's not very pretty but I don't care. Why is she even rejecting me??" it's like insult to injury. But for NT females, social perception is key.

Two things: 1) I'm actually more weary of good looking women. I see ugly NT men bend over backwards for them, and if they try to bat their eyes at me, it's insulting. Like they expect me to play the lapdog role that most men play for them. 2) On this site, and even this thread, there seem to be some Don Juan wannabes who are lecturing other men from a high-horse position. Who are you trying to score points with?



1000Knives
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28 Apr 2013, 12:33 am

I think it's more just a matter of self perception. I think basically, you'll get whoever is closest to you in "league" ie, if you're 5/10 for looks, you'll likely be mated with someone else 5/10 for looks. Obviously there's exceptions, but I find in general this is true. I don't think this is even a matter of male perspective either. Female perspective is just as skewed. See Myspace angle shots, giant girls wearing "skinny jeans" etc. I think with women it's worse, if you're a guy, you're just fat, maybe "big" for a nice semi-positive term. For women, there's all kinds of loaded nice words you're supposed to say to be sensitive or whatever.

Arguably, with the media thing, I think in media most often, ugly males are ridiculed if they're with a hot girlfriend. I remember there was an uproar over a GoDaddy Superbowl commercial where this happened.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-3j4-4N3Ng[/youtube]
9,790 likes 13,516 dislikes. So that pretty much proves my point. So I don't think there's some super secret patriarchal conspiracy to make ugly guys want super models.

But yes, be honest with yourself and your actual worth compared to others around you. Self confidence can be bad if it prevents you from seeing reality.



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28 Apr 2013, 12:40 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Two things: 1) I'm actually more weary of good looking women. I see ugly NT men bend over backwards for them, and if they try to bat their eyes at me, it's insulting. Like they expect me to play the lapdog role that most men play for them. 2) On this site, and even this thread, there seem to be some Don Juan wannabes who are lecturing other men from a high-horse position. Who are you trying to score points with?


Well it's these guys that are putting people on a pedestal through lust that are causing it, women aren't to blame but what is to blame is how our society idolizes and objectifies women through lust and idolizes promiscuity in men, basically Western dick measuring contests when it comes to material possessions or anything else.

Women do not need men anymore to protect and provide for them and what this does is takes away power, it doesn't just take away the power but it takes away the need for roles in relationships. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with women gaining equality or independence but I think it's important to remember the roles of a marriage and that men and women should serve mutual roles for a healthy relationship.



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28 Apr 2013, 12:46 am

Another examples is to look at the guys that were sex symbols in the past, Patrick Swayze "Point Break" and Kurt Russell versus Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson and high pitched Russell Brand. Women would rather have Zac Efron in skinny jeans and concealer because they don't need a strong, practical, traditional handyman who is capable. Young girls aren't going to worship the image of a man snatching a great deal of weight or a man fixing up a house/car.

The 80's
Image


Present Sex Symbols
Image



Last edited by Wolfheart on 28 Apr 2013, 1:38 am, edited 1 time in total.