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have to have confidence

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MXH
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30 Apr 2013, 10:00 pm

Maybe I'm just nuts but I find the whole confidence thing to be snakeoil.



billiscool
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30 Apr 2013, 10:10 pm

I did a thread once called ''creepy guys have such confidence''
one thing I read is approaching a woman, shows that a guy have confidence.

but if that the case, then shouldn't ''creepy guys'' (legit ones, not ugly nerds) be consider
to have confidence and be desire by women?

because ''legit creepy guys'' are the guys who are always approaching women,
and many times, ''legit creepy guys'' aren't very bother when they get reject by women.

and same with ''loser jerks'' who also approach women too, but fail miserable as well.
but many of them have confidence.

and ''pseudo''' alpha male also are in the same boat as the men above.


(loser jerks are jerks who can't get laid, unlike ''alpha jerks'' who can)
(pseudo alpha male are guys who think their alpha or pretend to be alpha,
but fail with women)


----

so I would say it mix of confidence and a personailty, and look that a typical women Like,
but confidence can be fake too.



Dantac
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30 Apr 2013, 10:30 pm

billiscool wrote:
the worst dating advice every is the whole ''you need confidence'' now having confidence is not bad,
it good not just for dating but for life in general.

but the problem with the confidence advice is the ''omit fallacy''
the advivors alot of times leave out other keys too.
for example, you need to have cleen teeth,, nice cloth, good body posture.

for example, a stinky, overweight and rude guy is not going to get a girl with confidence.
an unattractive, short man is not going to get a playboy model with confidence.

a redneck with no teeth, has weird fetish, and carry around a snake is not going to get a girl with confidence.

now confidence is not bad, but you need alot more than just confidence.


Actually its the reverse that I see.

I consistently see, as you say, guys who have all those bad things and yet get a girl because of their overt, visible confidence level. I've seen guys that are physically attractive to girls yet dont hook up because of lack of confidence.



DialAForAwesome
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30 Apr 2013, 11:39 pm

I've pretty much seen exactly what Bill described myself.


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glow
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07 May 2013, 4:18 am

appletheclown wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
Just wanted to add apple that you made a brilliant post about what virtues men and women really want to see when they mean "confidence" :P it made a clear distinction between what people think confidence is and what confidence actually is. Of course, there are many who also like confidence.


Much obliged.


Actually what comes off as stand-offish are peoples undermining abilities to compete in a section that should be called bizarre mind concepts rather than the need to be continually right about introspective needs not only designed to manifest confidence but self pride with the subconscious need to look after yourself and others .

I like you clown, you can say whatever you want :-