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BanjoGirl
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16 May 2013, 9:04 am

nessa238 wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
Showing your nerdiness barely works, you have to show "trendy nerdiness", because it's what society enjoys right now.

Trendy nerdiness for girls

Trendy nerdiness for boys

:?


It works ok for me as it filters out the shallow and judgmental

Being trendy is not something I aspire to


The nerdiness works for you? Not for me. I was even bullied again when I was 27 years old. Since then I'm not very interested in making friends again.


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nessa238
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16 May 2013, 9:15 am

BanjoGirl wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
Showing your nerdiness barely works, you have to show "trendy nerdiness", because it's what society enjoys right now.

Trendy nerdiness for girls

Trendy nerdiness for boys

:?


It works ok for me as it filters out the shallow and judgmental

Being trendy is not something I aspire to


The nerdiness works for you? Not for me. I was even bullied again when I was 27 years old. Since then I'm not very interested in making friends again.


I suppose it depends on a person's exact definition of nerdiness but I'd say I don't look cool and trendy and only other people with a mindset like mine seem to take to me

I'm not trying to impress NTs/the majority of people in the first place is what I'm saying; I just do the bare minimum to keep them off my back eg wear makeup when I go out and generally try to look inconspicuous/harmless; it doesn't work though as the nerdiness seems to be like a beacon to some types of people, who act like I'm just not up to standard. The older I get though the more I think Good! - who are they to dictate to me how I should be?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2013, 9:54 am

BanjoGirl
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16 May 2013, 9:54 am

nessa238 wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
Showing your nerdiness barely works, you have to show "trendy nerdiness", because it's what society enjoys right now.

Trendy nerdiness for girls

Trendy nerdiness for boys

:?


It works ok for me as it filters out the shallow and judgmental

Being trendy is not something I aspire to


The nerdiness works for you? Not for me. I was even bullied again when I was 27 years old. Since then I'm not very interested in making friends again.


I suppose it depends on a person's exact definition of nerdiness but I'd say I don't look cool and trendy and only other people with a mindset like mine seem to take to me

I'm not trying to impress NTs/the majority of people in the first place is what I'm saying; I just do the bare minimum to keep them off my back eg wear makeup when I go out and generally try to look inconspicuous/harmless; it doesn't work though as the nerdiness seems to be like a beacon to some types of people, who act like I'm just not up to standard. The older I get though the more I think Good! - who are they to dictate to me how I should be?


Well, my post about trendy nerdiness was a joke :P . I never tried to disguise myself as an adorkable girl. But it's true that I tried to be an extrovert and that I never talk about my interests because people laughs or thinks I'm being "pretentious". Being a different person or being myself, that doesn't matter, I can't connect with people. You can't imagine how many awkward moments I had! Probably in a bigger city I would have more possibilities though.


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PsychoSarah
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16 May 2013, 9:59 am

Attractiveness is subjective anyways, so this issue would never be resolved. Wasn't so long ago that heavy people were considered more attractive ones (in some countries, this is still the case).



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2013, 10:00 am

nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Is the OP saying they consider themself a nerd or just others?



I changed from typical nerd to a someone with nerdy interests.

Boo 1.0 was a typical nerd: very skinny, no sense of haircut/fashion, no single sport activity, tense glasses

I no longer talk much about nerdy stuff in public too, things like computers, science news, history...etc.

Because, seriously....IT BORES OTHER PEOPLE TO TEARS, I've learned this in the hard way.

I've learned some self control and to keep my mouth shut regarding these subjects when I am with others. My interests are mine only.

Today, the women I find most easy to impress are extrovert, some with slightly nerdy interests. Nothing worked with typical introvert women because they always turn out they want someone extrovert (opposite of them), even nerd women don't want to date nerd men in my experience.


BTW, nerd women aren't necessary not shallow/not materialistic nor extrovert women are necessarily shallow/materialistic, there's no correlation between the two traits, I've known typically nerdy women who were the most materialistic and looks-wise shallow I've ever encountered. The last nerd girl I've encountered on okc (she was the only local girl I met there who knows what bonobos means and know about cosmos news!! ! she was very nerdy) complained to me recently that she's thinking of leaving her new fiancée because he couldn't reach a X salary as she expected, he's a young cop officer, I was like 'geez I was saved', also another nerd girl (a bookworm atheist) before her had a preset monetary defined standards.

So I am pretty convinced that a nerd woman might not necessarily be the best match for me nor necessarily is always the better woman.

Also, as I said, they never consider me as a date, the dozen of nerd women I knew during the years are easily impressed by typical social guys and typical social things/activities they do, while extrovert women are easily impressed by something I say or do and they start wanting to date me out of curiosity, their curiosity sometimes grows to desire.

When a job seeker fails to find a job in a specific market over and over again, what should be done? Switching to another market of course!
Yes, I am that pragmatic.


I'm confused

Isn't your definition of nerd here far more based on the person's interests/topics of interest than their image?

Because if any of the females youv'e described are included in the ones you showed me photos of, I'd say none had a nerd-like look, as you've given in your original post photos. on the contrary, the women youv'e dated in thsoe photos looked exceedingly NT to me


Of course they do, because they are NTs, mostly extroverts and not typical nerds, I haven't dated yet any typical nerd one for the reason I've mentioned above (met few but none were dates), to be honest, they are often way more easygoing than the nerds too.



Quote:
So you seem to be jsut talking about a person's interests


It's about interests + the obsession level about these interests + behaviors in public + the way of presenting self (hair, clothes...etc).

Quote:
I ge the impression women who look like a stereotypical nerd probably dont' even exist in your culture

I've hardly ever seen a person with a nerd-like image whenever I've seen footage of Middle Eastern countries


They exist, there were quite few at school but they "grew out" of these looks by peer pressure after high school, hmm basically most end up like I am now. Those who remain so after school are extremely rare here, yes.

Quote:

I would think it would be very hard to look nerd-like in such a culture!


In which culture isn't?


Quote:
I also can't understand why plastic surgery is so prevalent in Middle Eastern countries as everyone alreadty looks pretty stunning to me already!


Increasing competition.


Oh right, I thought when you mentioned OKCupid that you'd met all these people as dates

I'm nerdy/geeky (don't know the difference) and in one way proud of it ie stuff what other people think - I don't have to waste my time on showers every day and faffing with loads of hair products and hair straighteners and wearing the latest fashion. I only feel bad about myself if other people try and shame me for not being what I'm 'meant' to be, so take them out of the equation and I'm fine :)

But logically speaking, surely it's in everyone else's interests for me not to be competing with them and beating them to the 'prize' (whatever it is - being famous in many cases from what I can see! :roll: ) so really they should be being nice to me!

If I go anywhere and see someone larger than me I like them as they've made me look a bit less fat! Why on earth would I want to be nasty to them?? - they've taken the pressure off me!

If everyone's beautiful the pressure's on everyone even more!


Well, I am currently talking with a more-nerdy woman on okcupid/fb lately a teacher, more nerdy (and definitely more introvert) than the previous ones. Date set on tuesday, hope things turn out alright. So maybe it's not hopeless with the nerdy introvert women after all :lol:.



PsychoSarah
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16 May 2013, 10:02 am

^ It is good that you have finally realized you have to lower your standards.



fueledbycoffee
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16 May 2013, 10:03 am

PsychoSarah wrote:
I think some people call pull off the facial hair look, but others can't. My step-dad said that having
one itches, so I don't know why guys would want one.


Mine doesn't. Granted, it's been a while since I've had a full beard (I go mostly for moustache/goatee these days, but it never has itched, so long as you keep it trimmed even.



nessa238
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16 May 2013, 10:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:


I'd never read it before but it's good


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BanjoGirl
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16 May 2013, 10:06 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:


I didn't read it but it's interesting. If only more people wasn't stuck in the "gender roles" stuff.


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PsychoSarah
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16 May 2013, 10:07 am

But they are.



nessa238
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16 May 2013, 10:08 am

PsychoSarah wrote:
^ It is good that you have finally realized you have to lower your standards.


How on earth is he lowering his standards?

That's like saying you think people on WP are of a lower standard!

You can speak for yourself but not for me or anyone else


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2013, 10:09 am

nessa238 wrote:
PsychoSarah wrote:
^ It is good that you have finally realized you have to lower your standards.


How on earth is he lowerign his standards?

That's like saying you think people on WP are of a lower standard!

You can speak for yourself but not for me


Don't mind her.

She's a lowlife.



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16 May 2013, 10:11 am

He constantly annoys me, so I insult him, end of story. Not insulting all of WP (at least, not on purpose). It was a comment on meeting people on a dating site, which tend to be desperate people.



nessa238
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16 May 2013, 10:12 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well, I am currently talking with a more-nerdy woman on okcupid/fb lately a teacher, more nerdy (and definitely more introvert) than the previous ones. Date set on tuesday, hope things turn out alright. So maybe it's not hopeless with the nerdy introvert women after all :lol:.


I hope it goes well :D

Be sure to let us know - I like hearing about your dates


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16 May 2013, 10:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Is the OP saying they consider themself a nerd or just others?



I changed from typical nerd to a someone with nerdy interests.

Boo 1.0 was a typical nerd: very skinny, no sense of haircut/fashion, no single sport activity, tense glasses who talks nerdy stuff most of the times.

I no longer talk much about nerdy stuff in public too, things like computers, science news, history...etc.

Because, seriously....IT BORES OTHER PEOPLE TO TEARS, I've learned this in the hard way.


When I was 14 I was a typical nerd by choice.

I had tried just about everything else and I felt comfortable with shirts from bands/cartoons and stuff ) instead of sport clothes/posh clothes(you either wear soccer/surf clothing or wear a polo, otherwise prepare to be ignored by most teenagers)

I was somewhat happy.

Yes I wasnt the most popular kid but hey at least I felt comfortable with my clothes which improved the way people saw me somewhat.


One day I was at class and everyone was bored.
When my class mates got bored they talked.
One day two guys that barely like me decided itd be cool to make me a check list on how to improve my fashion style/get a girl and make me their project.

I ignored their requests but it happened again that same year with unrelated people and I still remembered most of the list so I made a point to show them I was doing this by choice.

Right now Ive updated my clothing style to something more fashionable(several pairs of $70 jeans from standard surf trademarks bought at $20 on clearance sales over the years...) and I get no complaints.
People pay more attention to me it is interesting.


Last month I was wearing the standard "cool" sweater(billabong sweater looking like the sign was painted all over bought online and the shipping was higher than the price itself ) and a friend of my parents told me in a shocked tone that their kid had showed little/no excitement towards a ridiculously overpriced posh sweater($150 she said) and she may need my help soon :lol: