Managing or ending a crush - strategy

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Hi, I'm looking for a little advise. I would like to give a bit of background information. Its a long post, but at least it's not a wall of text. There's TL:DR.

I am a sophomore at an art school studying for game design.

I have aspergers, and general anxiety disorder, a great combination. It challenged me, but I have made strong progress in the past few years. Unfortunately, my sophomore year has been difficult, and I would not like to repeat it.

Freshman year, I walked down my dorm hall to meet a random girl in my freshman class, knocked on the door, and asked if I could hang out. In about thirty minutes, I knew I made a friend. She's a small, blonde haired, blue-eyed girl. I formed a crush on her in two weeks, though, she had a boyfriend at the time. I did well in Freshman year though, and considered myself happy with quite a few friends.

Later in the year, I learned she occasionally had mental breakdowns due to stress from work. She told me about it at the end of the year, when she and I were speaking on her bed. I rarely have the opportunity to be that close to someone, in terms of trust at least. I actually suggested she go see a psychologist.

Over the summer, I tried to chat with her but I never got any texts, only occasionally seeing her posts on Facebook. This is when I started to form paranoid, and to my therapist, obsessive thoughts. I became worried about her, and when I saw she changed her status to single, I didn't exactly improve. Meeting her the next year, I was relieved to see she was alright, and now on medication.

She saw a psychologist. Suprise, suprise, she has an anxiety disorder too.

Unfortunately, things really took a turn for the worse. My obsessive thoughts got a bit worse, due in part by the lack of communication from her (she sucks at answering texts, I mean not answering texts at all). Though, it was mostly me worrying about how she thinks of me, why I almost never see her anymore, and why do I keep thinking about it. I got on her nerves of course, and struggled to keep my composure. At one point, I finally decided to go see her and try to settle things by saying "I want to set limits, I want to be a better friend". She accused me of being obsessed (she was right). I lost all composure, in the cafeteria, and choked up, loosing all ability to speak. I left. Later, with just about as much composure, I finally told her I had aspergers.

I posted here about writing her a letter. I made a draft on the computer, went back to it a couple hours later to revise it, and realized that I sounded absolutely stark raving mad.

I actually started to get a bright idea of not seeing her for a month. I only asked her roommate to deliver some cookies on my crush's 20th birthday. A couple weeks after that, when I finally saw her again, she thanked me for the gift. At the end of fall quarter, and the beginning of winter break, I visited her one last time. I had a short heart to heart with her. She actually apologized for being so agitated during the year. She explained she was being hit-on by three separate guys during the quarter (not including me). One even harassed her. Toward the end of the conversation, I finally told her she was a beautiful, intelligent, and a charming woman. She was thankful but not ready for a boyfriend. I also think going off the deep-end for a while did not turn her on. Still, I ended the quarter on a good note.

I didn't really try to communicate with her over the break, not expecting anything in return.

Winter quarter began in January, and it was miserable. I struggled with keeping up my spirits. This was mostly due to isolation since I moved off campus. Also, I lost a friend due to my incompetence. I finally decided to get some professional help. The councilors in my school are very nice, and my primary one gave me some great advise. I only occasionally started to see my crush, and it was for short conversations only. Still unsure if I was getting on her nerves.

I finally started to make progress in spring quarter. I finally made a great transition from randomly visiting buddies to inviting friends to lunch, and tried to be more social. Having friends calling YOU to lunch is much more satisfying than the other way around. I started to actually feel happy, though I am still miserable though from time to time. I need to make more progress.

In the middle of this quarter, I finally got a call from my crush. She wanted to hangout, and we had dinner. I don't see her much, and when I do, she is usually tired and seemingly irritable. That night, she was happy and I loved seeing her. Importantly, during dinner, she said she may had minor depression and trouble during winter quarter. I think she is currently facing those same issues now.

I had a blast, but again Ive never had the chance to hangout with her the rest of this quarter. Also, she never answered my texts, and I am damn sure this time it's NOT because I pissed her off. Its nearing the end of the quarter now, and I feel it might be the time to end the crush.

I have tried to end my crush with her, believe me. I wanted to be only her best friend at one point, of course thats not really the case. I don't get to see her much and I still get flustered by it. I have spent too much thinking about her.

TL:DR
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I'm thinking of ending the crush once and for all, even if that means not seeing her again; for the sake of my damned sanity. Of course, there's summer break, but that might be a solution in itself.

On the last day, I will have one more heart to heart with her. The last two ended successfully, and I would rather be open. She said she appreciated my openness. I might say I still think she's a charming woman.

I just want some advise on what should I say, not say, or should I do nothing and not see her. I would like to end this smoothly if possible, or at least at the end not be a total wreck.

I'm not sure if having another heart to heart is necessary. You may feel you need to get something off your chest, but keep in mind that you may have to keep whatever feelings for yourself as it sounds like she doesn't want to hear them. It really doesn't sound like she has that much interest in being around you at this time and maybe it's best you leave her alone and see what happens. That's just my take on things. It's possible that you two are just not connecting.

If you like her tell her. If not you better have some good hobbies to do while ignoring your feelings about her.

Strategy:
Don't contact her; that pulls you deeper into the obsession as you're anxiously waiting, forever, for a response; any response.

In her absence and in the absence of your acting out on the obsession, one day you will become bone tired of wasting your energy and mental space on something that produces no return and your feelings about her will change from obsession to disinterest.

Sounds like you are trying too much excuse yourself from a sign of disinterest. If she wants to get back to you she will get back to you. You can't really end your crush. You just have to keep moving. You are creating an "what if" for yourself.

Though it seems you are handling yourself much better than I do. I have problems ranting, saying stupid things, and not avoiding the send button well enough when I get upset. Making new friends and hanging out with them helped a bunch though. Suggestion: You can hide her posts from your Facebook feed if you haven't already.

MountainLaural is definitely right. You need to leave her alone. She is giving clear signals that she does not want to be close friends, let alone a romantic relationship.

With crushes that I know are rediculous, I mentally ignore every thought I have about them. Ususally, the crush feeling ends in about a month.

That's the idea I'm getting. I don't have to do anything, just sort of move on. If I never hear from her again, then well, that's the end of it.

I've got a good summer to look forward to, with a few good buddies in high school. I wish I got an internship, but then there are online classes and projects for game design.

If you've got feelings for a girl, and she's available and you're available, you should act on them within two weeks. One month at the absolute most. By "act" I do not mean you go and make a dramatic confession, you just invite her out somewhere, just you and her. If she politely declines, or if she impolitely declines, forget about her and move on. Find someone else.

See, you have to make your move before it develops into an all-consuming obsession. It's better to be shot down early on than to let it simmer and fester for months.

I've learned to try and avoid women that I feel I can get a crush on. No point in it going on