Ever had someone fake loving you?

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TheJaguarEmpress
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19 Jun 2013, 4:06 pm

Have you ever had someone fake being in love with you because they felt bad for you or were using you with the excuse that you needed the experience or self-confidence?



DefinitelyKmart
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19 Jun 2013, 4:11 pm

could you elaborate please, i find it difficult to understand what you mean? did they date you and do this? or just pretend in some weird way??



WildTaltos
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19 Jun 2013, 4:22 pm

Yes, defintly - th only romantic relatinships I think I evre had wer realy someone just feling sorry for me or just using me untl someone beter came along or they got boredd. Prety much why I mostly stay away frim women becuse I have the expctation they are just goin to pretend they liek me then toss me side like trash - I dont get that sorrt of bulshit with men thuogh usualy dont have a romantic relationship with othr men, usualy it is just for casual sex.


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TornadoEvil
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19 Jun 2013, 4:55 pm

Yes



Fnord
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19 Jun 2013, 4:57 pm

All the time ... prostitutes ... salespeople ... back-stabbing co-workers ...



MountainLaurel
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19 Jun 2013, 5:18 pm

No, this never happened to me, but I see it happen.

In the case of men; some of them are attracted to women who they think need to be rescued. They are very attracted to women they perceive as needing rescue at first and for some time. But the problem is that; what these men are really in love with, are their own their fantasies of being a savior; not necessarily the actual women. In time the relationships collapse because they are based on the mens projections, not reality. (I am not saying that men are like this; only some of them.)

Something similar happens with certain women; the sort of woman who have high nurturing drive. They are attracted to men they subconsciously perceive as needing mothering in order to grow into fully realized adults. These relationships tend to fail when the men rebel against the mother/son construct that eventually emerges and/or when the woman realizes that all her mothering work never results in a functioning adult that she can control.

In other words; what you experienced is not terribly uncommon.

I find both the "savior" men and the compulsively mothering women to be grandiose in their perception of the power of their 'love' to change their mates into beings of their own making.



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19 Jun 2013, 5:33 pm

Yeah, but it was good for me...


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glow
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19 Jun 2013, 7:13 pm

TheJaguarEmpress wrote:
Have you ever had someone fake being in love with you because they felt bad for you or were using you with the excuse that you needed the experience or self-confidence?


yep, and now I m trying to work out if its happened again.. or that maybe im just being paranoid. Thing is this guy is careful, so before I give myself a reality check maybe first I should give him the once over just to be sure I don't fall over, besides he wants and needs to go up in the world. I should be able, or have been able to supply good honest simple instruction to the man.



TheJaguarEmpress
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19 Jun 2013, 9:11 pm

Lying is okay if you're trying to help people and steer them away from danger. Or if you're lying to someone who you already know is a horrible person.
It's not okay if you're risking an innocent person's safety to pleasure yourself with the excuse that they could use some pleasure too. If the person doesn't find out, then cool, but if they do everyone will lose the game. too big of a gamble in my opinion.

Someone has to be a psychopath to get more sexual pleasure from someone they've manipulated into loving them. If they're not a psychopath they should just solicit prostitution.
And if they genuinely love the person they shouldn't need to manipulate them into loving them back.

I know we aren't always perfectly conscious of what we're doing, but we're still responsible for what we do. And if we're genuinely good people at heart, we'd be really screwed up if one of us got hurt.



glow
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20 Jun 2013, 4:07 am

I don't lie and protecting someone who does is just stupid. I just didn't know that in order to reach fame someone would cover up their tracks so much their outward appearance becomes them or something other than them.



Giftorcurse
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20 Jun 2013, 7:18 am

All love is fake.


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Ferrus91
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21 Jun 2013, 5:33 pm

Sometimes the answer to this question is ambiguous - in a way, yes, in a way no. Or for a time.



diniesaur
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22 Jun 2013, 1:25 am

Yeah, I've had someone fake it, but not because he felt sorry for me...