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Alla
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20 Jun 2013, 3:55 pm

So after having sex, I told aspie dude "I just want to love you". He sighed deeply and said in disbelief "Oh......", and gave me a kiss. It's been two days and he hasn't said anything or contacted me, although I know he is busy with work.

Do aspie males that have been hurt in the past have a hard time believing that someone loves them? Is it that he doesn't feel the same way about me or hasn't thought through his emotions?



Tequila
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20 Jun 2013, 3:58 pm

Do this through electronic means. Let him type out his feelings. That can work. Just work through it with him, but don't pressure him.

Also, he is a lucky fecker.



Alla
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20 Jun 2013, 4:03 pm

Tequila wrote:
Do this through electronic means. Let him type out his feelings. That can work. Just work through it with him, but don't pressure him.


I did this. He usually replies with a :D and might call me afterwords. Strange...



nebrets
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20 Jun 2013, 4:51 pm

For something big like "I love you" it might take a few days to process.

There might also be a difference in his mind between "I love you" and "I just want to love you".
He might be trying to figure out what it means.


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Fnord
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20 Jun 2013, 5:16 pm

Alla wrote:
So after having sex, I told aspie dude "I just want to love you". He sighed deeply and said in disbelief "Oh......", and gave me a kiss. It's been two days and he hasn't said anything or contacted me, although I know he is busy with work. Do aspie males that have been hurt in the past have a hard time believing that someone loves them?

All males do, to a greater or lesser degree. This is not just an "Aspie Thing" - it's a "Guy Thing".

Alla wrote:
Is it that he doesn't feel the same way about me or hasn't thought through his emotions?

You really need to ASK HIM!

We're just a bunch of strangers on a social website, with no clue as to what is really going through his mind.

It honestly baffles me why you would ask a stranger what someone else is feeling when you yourself have no clue at all!

ASK HIM!

:? Wow ... deja vu ... all over again ...



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20 Jun 2013, 5:29 pm

If any girl tells me they love me, here's my reaction...

"Go f**k yourself."


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20 Jun 2013, 5:59 pm

How long have you guys known each other/dated? Because if you haven't been together very long, that may be part of the reason, as he may not believe it at first.


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20 Jun 2013, 6:07 pm

when my sweetie told me she loved me, I took it at face value but I was floored. I had to screw up all my courage and step up to the plate. it was the most challenging thing I've ever done in my life. :o



Alla
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20 Jun 2013, 6:15 pm

WitchsCat wrote:
How long have you guys known each other/dated? Because if you haven't been together very long, that may be part of the reason, as he may not believe it at first.


We've known each other for over three years in a working capacity, but have only dated for the past 7 months. The sex is great, but he isn't very expressive emotionally, which confuses me.



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20 Jun 2013, 6:28 pm

Alla wrote:
WitchsCat wrote:
How long have you guys known each other/dated? Because if you haven't been together very long, that may be part of the reason, as he may not believe it at first.


We've known each other for over three years in a working capacity, but have only dated for the past 7 months. The sex is great, but he isn't very expressive emotionally, which confuses me.


I've never had the experience, since long ago that 1) I'rather be asexual, 2) what woman wants to live with a weirdo like me and 3)I could never figure out what a woman wants.



DefinitelyKmart
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20 Jun 2013, 6:55 pm

Right i love you is tough for anyone, but with aspies imagine it like 10* and maybe hes having trouble processing this news?



TheJaguarEmpress
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20 Jun 2013, 7:34 pm

Allow me to translate:

"I just want to love you."

translation from penis-face-speak to English:

"I just want to DO stuff to you that makes ME feel good."

the implication being that whatever he does (and therefore whatever happens to him) is of less importance.

What you ought to do, especially being a woman, is admit that you are so absorbed in your own personal emotions that you don't have the cognitive means to be a guide for him in a confusing world.



DefinitelyKmart
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20 Jun 2013, 7:37 pm

yeah, i just want to love you..
isnt the same as i love you...
i mean they read totally differently



auntblabby
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20 Jun 2013, 8:00 pm

to this clueless aspie, it seems to mean the OP loves and wants to do nothing but keep loving her aspie man.



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20 Jun 2013, 8:07 pm

"I just want to love you" to me sounds like

"I just want to love you [but there is a problem why I can't]"

Especially if you said that after sex.



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20 Jun 2013, 8:09 pm

"I just want to love you" comes after "I love you." IMHO. :idea: it is the opposite side of the coin equivalent of "I just want to keep hating you" after saying "I hate you."