First Time I've ever liked someone, need help.

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Finchy96
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01 Jul 2013, 11:44 am

Okay, so recently i just got back from a school trip in Poland, where i had to spend time with some people i have never talked to before. One of them i appear to have developed feelings for. She doesn't know (at least i hope she doesn't). She told me she had feelings for one of my best friends and i'm pretty sure he likes her. So i have no idea what to do about it. I've also never felt such intense jealousy for someone, honestly to the point where i wanted to hit him, especially because he was being immature and mocking me in order to impress her (I've no idea how that worked out for him though). So what should i do? Should i respect this bro code I was informed of so much on the trip? Should I tell her? Because I'm completely lost in what to do. I've never had feeling for someone before and I've never cared about sex (still don't really). I have Aspurgers and have never been good with talking, and always been terrified of a situation like this occurring. So... yeah, what do i do?



JanuaryMan
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01 Jul 2013, 12:10 pm

Even if you "get the girl" in this case you'll get bored of her very quickly.
You only want her because she wants your friend and you want to win this game of love (well, lust, whatever).
That's all very evident from what you said.

I was a jealous, needy person too in my teen years. All I can say is don't let it ruin your friendship too much and maybe find another girl to crush on.



Finchy96
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01 Jul 2013, 12:24 pm

I doubt I'd get bored of her, I've never gotten bored of anyone I know, I always get over clingy with my friends. So I thought it would get more extreme with someone I have feelings for (one of my worries).
I liked her before I found out she liked my friend. Also, I have never liked anyone before, nor been jealous to such an extent. So I really don't know what to do, because my social anxiety is really crippling sometimes, to the point where i hate to talk to people sometimes.



cathylynn
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01 Jul 2013, 3:08 pm

I would wait. maybe it won't work out between her and your friend. it's generally a bad idea to go after someone who is in a relationship, even if not with your friend.



Finchy96
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01 Jul 2013, 3:15 pm

Thanks Cathylynn, i will do, i'm going to her birthday party on saturday so i just need some advice on whether or not i should pursue this.



Cafeaulait
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01 Jul 2013, 3:21 pm

There is not much you can do about this, unfortunately. Right now, you´ll just have to wait and see. She likes him., and he likes her. I would almost say: let them be. Even though that's much easier said than done off course..



Finchy96
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01 Jul 2013, 5:39 pm

But how does one deal with the jealousy?

I've never been jealous of someone like this before, which is really eating at me.



NEtikiman
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01 Jul 2013, 8:07 pm

I guess that would involve being very careful about how you act around this other guy and make sure that you're treating him fairly. At the end of the day, this bro code is very true.
I had a pair of good friends who ruined a long-term friendship over some girl who just played them both for suckers.
Jealousy sucks, but remember that she made the choice here... I hate that "other fish in the sea" line, but it's true...


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Finchy96
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02 Jul 2013, 11:25 am

Thanks, i guess i'll abide to the bro code then and leave it be. Urgh, i hate feelings.